<p>“Essay #1”</p>
<p>^adding to that
“Why I want to attend Ohio State and how I would add diversity to the campus”
(forgets to change title and sends it to the University of Maryland)</p>
<p>I have a 1520, 4.0 and am the valedictorian. No wonder this essay sucks ass. (The title AND the essay)</p>
<p>As I dared to put my title “The Second Quarter Thesis Paper” on my English paper,</p>
<p>I would say “One of The Most Influential Acticities in My Entire Life”…</p>
<p>At least some people must have gotten shocked by all these threads, cuz they</p>
<p>actually used these splendid titles on applications…kk</p>
<p>better yet usna send that to Michigan</p>
<p>" How to cheat and get away with it"
" Hello my name is what, my name is who, my name is chicka chicka slim shady"
“Why I hate school X”
"“How I will add Diversity”
Since over 90% of the people attending your college are in the top 10& of their high school classes I think people from the bottom 10% should be represented. Slackers have been discriminated against long enough. It is time to unite and show what diversity we can add to the campus. btw… the kegger will be on friday, byog(bring your own grass)</p>
<p>What I Learned From Listening to the Lyrics of Lil Jon</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Kappa Kappa Kappa and Other Fraternities You’re Missing</p></li>
<li><p>Yakuza: My Father Knows Where You Live</p></li>
<li><p>Gynecology: My Intended Career</p></li>
<li><p>Burning Effigies: How I Caused My School’s API Scores to Become Disqualified (true story)</p></li>
<li><p>Blackxican: Why You Want My Diversified Brack Ass.</p></li>
<li><p>Anthrax: Why You Must Accept Me For The Antidote</p></li>
<li><p>Banging Pots and Pans Together: How To Name Your Adopted Asian Child</p></li>
<li><p>Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis: My Struggle With</p></li>
<li><p>Practice: How I Survived the Gangbang</p></li>
<li><p>This Paper Will Incinerate On Your Ass in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…</p></li>
<li><p>My Illegitimate Black Child: If Thomas Jefferson Can Do It…</p></li>
<li><p>Kage Bushin No Jutsu: How I Can Build The New Dormitories</p></li>
<li><p>How I Sold My Virginity On Ebay</p></li>
<li><p>The Tower of Babel: And Other Nicknames for My Oversized Anatomical Parts</p></li>
<li><p>My Double Ds: See Attached Picture</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Lol Lol Lol!!!</p>
<p>“The most interesting thing u have done/ur most significant activity types”</p>
<p>1.Forged my transcript
2.Seduced a Dean of admissions</p>
<ol>
<li><p>‘how to seduce the dean’s daughter’</p></li>
<li><p>‘Why this College is my biggest safety net’</p></li>
<li><p>‘Read along only if you’ve sent the limo to pick me up’</p></li>
</ol>
<p>“Kama Sutra and me, my intercultural experiences”</p>
<p>that was sooooooo funny, btw, I LOVE this thread</p>
<p>“Why attending Harvard will make me rich and successful” <– send to Yale</p>
<p>“Why I chose MIT over Cal-tech” <– send to Cal-tech</p>
<p>“Commited, Accused, Confessed, Charged, Tried, Guilty. My adolescent life”</p>
<p>“In the Jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight”</p>
<p>“The importance of applying to a safety school”</p>
<p>“Who wants to be a millionare? I do.”</p>
<p>“Essay # 3”</p>
<p>“I grew up without a father, a working mother, ten brothers and sisters, one leg, 20/1000 vision, and was still able to get a 4.0/1600. Just kidding”</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Bi-racial? Try Bi-Species.</p></li>
<li><p>My Ass: Your School’s New Particle Accelerator</p></li>
<li><p>How Mom Became Dad</p></li>
</ol>
<p>or how bout</p>
<ol>
<li>my great granddaddy was jefferson davis</li>
<li>I know all about the warren commision</li>
<li>I know you ______<strong><em>(fitzsimmons, rapelye, shaw) born in </em></strong> in year ______ with social security number 123-45-6789, I also know your dirty little secret, talk about skeletons in the closet, you have a mausoleum</li>
</ol>
<p>For Pton-What wud u do if u were give a year off?</p>
<p>Join Al-Qaeda</p>
<p>wait, that was a question?</p>
<p>Why your college is my 12th choice</p>
<p>safety school essay, or… it doesnt matter what i write since I am guaranteed acceptance</p>
<ol>
<li>Autoeroticism: And You Thought It Couldn’t Be Done</li>
<li>The Three R’s: Retching, Razing, and Rowdying</li>
<li>My Father, the Real President: Mr. Cheney</li>
<li>You’ve Found Your Weapons of Mass Destruction: My Personality</li>
<li>Conservative Christianity: Your Son’s a ■■■ and I Have Proof</li>
<li>Double D’s and Derivatives: How I Aced Calculus</li>
</ol>