<p>“The Story Behind My Swollen Anus”</p>
<p>“What To Do When You Wake Up In The Destists Chair With Your Pants Around Your Ankles”</p>
<p>“Injecting P*ss: Nature’s Secret Cure-All”</p>
<p>“Why The Jews Are Responsible For All Of The Matzo In The World”</p>
<p>“Liberalism: Working Toward A Cure”</p>
<p>“V0t four my: me um gud ate spiylling.”
“I am Spiderman! I have come to defeat Evil!”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Rofl. :D</p>
<p>“My Daddy will Donate $100 Million Dollars”</p>
<p>“When the River Runs Red, Take the Dirt Road Instead”</p>
<p>“I’m Asian and I scored high on the SAT but have no extra curriculars whatsoever”</p>
<p>lol, I think the my daddy will donate 1 million dollars is quite a good essay opener. :)</p>
<p>“My Job at Hooters”
“The Impact Beer Has Had On My High School Career”
“Why I’m Gay”
“Why I Don’t Use Public Restrooms”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Fides, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! :D</p>
<p>“I would have gotten higher on my SAT but I was partying late and got drunk.”</p>
<p>Re-post of #60 (12-21-04) by okytdy:</p>
<p>“Why I’m very sorry” - Kerry</p>
<p>“My Experimentation with Vicodin”</p>
<p>“Why Prozac is my Drug of Choice”</p>
<p>“Regarding my Having Sex with my Math Teacher in Order to get an A”</p>
<p>“The Trials and Tribulations of a Chuck E. Cheese Mouse Dude”</p>
<p>“The Pleasures of Self-Gratification - My Adventure with Masturbation”</p>
<p>“How it Feels to be Charles Manson’s Pen Pal”</p>
<p>“My Adventures as an Underage Hooker”</p>
<p>“My Worst Sexual Experience”</p>
<p>“The Joys of Bare-Backing”</p>
<p>“How I Discovered the Organic, Self-Made Cure for Athlete’s Foot”</p>
<p>“My Time in a Port-a-Potty”</p>
<p>“My Mom Works at McDonalds and I Don’t Want to be Like Her”</p>
<p>“My Best Assets (<em>wink</em>)”</p>
<p>“Why Pedestrians Fear Me”</p>
<p>“What Is The Sound Of One Hand Fapping? - A Philosophical Discourse On Masturbation”</p>
<p>“Why you should give me a scholarship”
“How Bill Gates made it big without college”
“I’m in it for the As: what you should know when you accept me”
“ADcoms: why they have nothing better to do”
“Why you should sleep with me”
“My genital warts: I swear they’re heriditary”
“STDs don’t exist”
“Why this is my safety college”</p>
<p>“Race Mixing: The Cause of the Modern Global Problems”
“An Economic Perspective on Homemade Methamphetamine”
“My Life as a Prostitute”
“Burn, Baby, Burn! A Pyromaniac’s Perspective”
“She Looked 18 at the Time”</p>
<p>Win, rainbow kirby. Win.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>lol…</p>
<p>i love that one 2</p>
<p>Not really good, but it just came to me:</p>
<p>“Why I Want to go to Penn State” –> Send to UPenn</p>
<p>“My dad is making me apply to Harvard so that he can brag about it at the church bbq”</p>
<p>The Effects of Oktoberfest on Pregnant Women</p>