<p>“Mein Kampf”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t me”</p>
<p>“Laziness: A debilitating disease”</p>
<p>“How to store and conceal a body”</p>
<p>“If Bush had only searched my clandestine bunker, he could have averted an international crisis”</p>
<p>“It’s not your child…and my genome can prove it”</p>
<p>“An Admission Officer’s guide to my teacher’s pants”</p>
<p>“My hero: Senator Foley” - only if you are applying to a Catholic school of course</p>
<p>“Why I whip my slaves”</p>
<p>“I’m half indian and half japanese. So yes that makes me half asian”</p>
<p>“How to get perfect inattendance”</p>
<p>“How I set the school record for most discipline write-ups in one day”</p>
<p>“50 ways to insult teachers”</p>
<p>“We all do dumb things”</p>
<p>“Like Mike (Tyson)”</p>
<p>“Tonya Harding got away with it”</p>
<p>sorry if any of these are repeats :o</p>
<p>“How To Kill a Mockingbird”</p>
<p>Why college is not important: The Bill Gates Example.</p>
<p>“Black Light the first page. I wrote a secret message. he he”</p>
<p>Krnpsychopath: “Remember to take your pants off”</p>
<p>“Let me in, because I am gay.”</p>
<p>@qwilde: lol</p>
<p>“Why sleeping with you gets me in”</p>
<p>“I am an African-American, Hispanic, Native American Jew. I Only Look Asian.”
Subtitle: Let Me in or I’ll Sue. :)</p>
<p>“How Teletubbies changed my life”</p>
<p>Disclaimer: I have no clue what I wrote in this essay considering I did not write it so please feel free to fill in the topic title when your done reading here:</p>
<pre><code> _____________________________
</code></pre>
<p>Note the Paradox!</p>
<p>Busting Nuts for a Living: How My Hard Work and Quickness Created a Life of Pleasure and Success</p>
<p>Dad’s Specialty Juice: A Delicious Potion for Manhood</p>
<p>Breakfast with Dad: How Eating German Sausage and Drinking Warm Milk Helped Me Internalize the Meaning of Life</p>
<p>It’s Not My Fault: How I Raised My Dad</p>
<p>Riding with Dad: A Lovely Tradition</p>
<p>“How I did it, if I did it”</p>
<p>(reference to O.J)</p>
<p>“Jews for Jesus”
(To Brandeis)</p>
<p>In response to “Why College X”:</p>
<p>“Uh, isn’t it obvious?”</p>
<p>lol, also for “Why _____ University/College”: you’ve heard all the reasons before. you can find my reason in that essay you read an hour ago. =P</p>
<p>If I Did It</p>