<p>To Princeton:
“How Beautiful Mind showed me Princeton’s beauty” -.-“”"</p>
<p>never mind the title…an entire essay
can’t find the actual citation but read this was Fritz Perls entire dissertation (may be just his example of existential philosophy but still…what an essay)</p>
<p>I’m not a lady perfuming her farts
I am a scoundrel and lover of arts
I am what I am, and I screw when I can
I’m Popeye the sailor man.</p>
<p>To Pricneton
“I’m applying because I am one of those people who could not get into Wharton”</p>
<p>“The heartwarming story of how I overcame my rejection to XXX and why I’m applying here.”</p>
<p>“My experimentation with Anthrax”</p>
<p>“Why I’m still in love with Bush” (for Yale, of course)</p>
<p>“Japan U.S. Relations”</p>
<p>Title:</p>
<p>“Breath deeply. Keep staring at the coin I attached to this essay for ten minutes. Now your eyelids are becoming heavy. You let yourself go and read the essay.” </p>
<p>Essay:</p>
<p>“I will accept this applicant, I will accept this applicant, I will accept this applicant(…)”</p>
<p>The hypno-essay never fails, or it does?</p>
<p>“This one time, at band camp…”</p>
<p>“My efforts to save the endangered tree octopus”</p>
<p>“How group testing saved me on the SAT”</p>
<p>“My Internship with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad”</p>
<p>“The personal, loving man, that is Mark Foley”</p>
<p>“I’m applying here because I was rejected everywhere else. and I mean EVERYWHERE.”</p>
<p>“Why I wrote this essay for my son”</p>
<p>“So Dead Sexy: My Experiences With Necrophilia”</p>
<p>“Timothy McVeigh: The True American Hero”</p>
<p>“On the Importnce of Being Careful” </p>
<p>(followed by 3 emails apologizing for the typo)</p>
<p>Why I want to become a porn star</p>
<p>(followed by multiple images of animal genitals)</p>
<p>“How Justin Timberlake’s “Dick in a Box” Revolutionized Pop Music and Christmas Gifts”</p>
<p>Fedex the essay with a box that has a hole in it</p>