<p>If the dress makes you feel happy, wear it. We put far too much value on things that aren’t that important. Is what you are wearing going to have that big an impact on the wedding festivities or their marriage? If DIL #1 (or #2, for that matter) has a problem with it, say something to the effect that you are just as happy for this couple as you were for the first, and that you are wearing your “lucky” MOG dress for the benefit of couple #2.</p>
<p>I think it is totally fine to wear it again!</p>
<p>I know what my sister-in-law wore to her son’s wedding (a very pretty pink suit) two years ago, because she commented at length about not being able to find a dress that she liked.</p>
<p>I have only a vague idea what my mother wore to my own wedding! I have no idea what she wore to my brother’s wedding. I recall what my father and step-mother wore to my niece’s wedding, because that was just a little over a year ago, and we have looked at the pictures often since then.</p>
<p>I’d go with the new shoes, new purse, perhaps some different accessory–necklace, earrings?</p>
<p>I don’t feel that I am superstitious, but probably the only circumstance in which I would not wear a dress that I wore to a wedding six years ago (and hadn’t worn since) would be if the earlier wedding had already ended in divorce. In that case, I’d get a new dress.</p>
<p>Me, I would wear it again, but I used to live in an area where that decision would be fodder for major snark and gossip. I guess that is why I don’t live there any more. I used to love shopping, now I prefer to use my energy in other ways, not judging shopping, I just have realized it tires me out and I do not have fun like I used to have. Not judging, just how I have changed.</p>
<p>If I have something I really like and feel good in, I do tend to wear it often. I cannot imagine many situations where both photos are displayed and compared.</p>
<p>We discovered DH had arbitrarily worn the same shirt to several graduations and actually had an amusing discussion about him continuing to wear it for all post-undergrad ceremonies, too. So, yes, we are a bit irreverent. I do think that mores and folkways of different regions and sub-cultures affect this. Are the people commenting women who always or never wear make up, always or never dye their hair, always or never wear the latest fashions, etc.</p>
<p>The decision has to fit within the framework of OPs real life?</p>
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Not sure why it would bother the bride or her family and really it’s not any of their business what you wear in my opinion unless you are acting as matron of honor. </p>
<p>I say if the dress makes you feel pretty go for it! I appreciate the comment about the photos, but again, it’s a different day, a different son and if it doesn’t bother you to have the same dress it really isn’t anyone else’s business what you wear. I’m guessing most people that were at both weddings might not even notice it, unless the photos were side by side and they were scrutinizing them. Also, if you feel “good” or “pretty” in something, generally it’s someone that you do look great in, so wear it while you can!</p>
<p>The responses here are so interesting.</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d wear it again and thank my lucky stars that I had found a dress 1) I love and 2) look good in. And 3) still fit in six years later! I seriously love the idea of wearing my “lucky” dress. Why not consider it a new tradition? :)</p>
<p>And yet, there are those people, like my mother, who do, in fact, remember what they and everybody in the place wore to an event 20 years ago. She’ll literally say, “I’m wearing that turquoise, two-piece dress I wore to Christina’s confirmation. Remember?” Uh, no, I don’t. That was 20 years ago. Why in the world would I – or anyone – remember what you wore to a confirmation 20 years ago? My mom always has been overly concerned with appearances, which no doubt is why my sister and I just don’t care about clothing. Just yesterday I ran across a photo of me at a niece’s wedding seven years ago. Much of my outfit was covered in the big group photo, but I thought to myself, “What am I wearing? I don’t remember owning anything with sleeves like that.” About two hours later, it finally came to me.</p>
<p>I like what somemom said about area norms. If you think you’ll be the subject of all sorts of gossip then I guess it wouldn’t be worth it to me. But then, I’d never live somewhere where people really care about that kind of thing! 
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<p>Let us know what you decide! I really hope you choose the dress you already love. </p>
<p>I got great help in choosing my MOB dress from this site in 2013, and many compliments on the eventual choice, including from my S’s girlfriend. I was delighted with the dress. (Thanks again, chocchipcookie!)</p>
<p>Those two are expected to marry in 2016 (when she finishes professional school). If the presumed bride (they have an understanding, but no formal engagement) is agreeable (which I think she would be, since she loved the dress and is also very practical herself), I would certainly consider wearing it again to S’s wedding. (S won’t care at all so long as I am not naked.)</p>
<p>S’s GF used a dress she had worn to her (much older) brother’s wedding as her prom dress. A girl after my own heart.</p>
<p>Seems silly to me to have a dress for “one use only.” Plus I am one of those who hates shopping and is a challenge to outfit. </p>
<p>I actually have a runner-up MOB dress, never worn other than to try it on, residing in my closet. I hate shopping so much I did not return the second choice and figure I can wear it to another wedding at some point. Perhaps I will let future D-I-L decide between the two contenders for her wedding.</p>
<p>IMO anyone who considers a re-wearing “tacky” might benefit from a values re-working.
(But that is simply my opinion, of course.) </p>
<p>I think it’s very French and stylish to have fewer, but classic and elegant clothes and wear them more often.</p>
<p>I myself would probably go buy another dress because that’s how I roll, but I don’t see anything wrong with wearing a nice dress again. Though I’d try to change the look a bit with accessories, shoes, etc.</p>
<p>Exactly. When some people wear classic pieces and recycle them, it’s chic. I say decide that you are chic! Update with new accessories and maybe a different hairstyle and be fabulous.</p>
<p>My mother wore the same dress to my sister’s wedding that she had worn to my brother’s wedding 6 weeks later. Not 6 years, not 6 months, 6 weeks. No one cared.</p>
<p>I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone cared about what the mothers were wearing (unless they were dressed in something wildly inappropriate). </p>
<p>BTW, I’ve always heard that the role of the MOG is to wear beige and keep her mouth shut </p>
<p>Don’t think it’s a problem. I would go with different shoes/jewelry/hairstyle, etc.</p>
<p>A couple of additional points:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If you wear the taupe dress, tell yourself you are doing what the French would do. French woman are considered to be among the best dressed women in the world. They tend to buy a few exquisite items and wear them over and over again. I had a friend from Paris who spent an unbelievable sum on a gorgeous dress and then wore it to event after event, even though these events were attended by the same crowd. She always looked fabulous. Some people DID notice and were charmed by how French it was!</p></li>
<li><p>Re pictures: Some folks here expressed concern abt your viewing pictures of the two events side by side. If you were to compare the two sets of pictures, I think you’d feel worse seeing yourself in a less flattering dress at the second event than you would feel seeing yourself in the same dress! So, if the test is how you’ll feel viewing pictures, I say wear the taupe!</p></li>
<li><pre><code> Similarly, if the test is, “What will other people think?”, i think the answer is, “Wear the taupe!” (Yes, I know that we shouldn’t care what others think but we often do care).
</code></pre></li>
</ol>
<p>Think about your friends or daughters or sisters or mother. Would you rather see them in the perfect, wonderful dress that looks great on them or something new but not as good? Perhaps I care way too much about appearances, but I’m always happy to see my loved ones in their most flattering outfits at important events. I’m always a little sad to see my friends (or especially my mother or sisters or daughter) in something new-and-okay-but-not-great at an important event when I know they have the perfect dress in their closet at home. (Yes, I’m shallow. In my defense, I live in L.A.)</p>
<p>So think of it this way: If you wear the same dress, there may be a small number of women who will recognize it. There MIGHT be a few who think, “Why’s she wearing that dress again?” But a greater number will think, “I love that dress! I’m so glad she’s wearing it!” </p>
<p>Conversely, if you wear a less flattering new dress, there might be a small subset of woman who will think, “Oh, I wish she had worn that beautiful taupe lace dress that she used to have.” </p>
<p>So either way, some people will wish you wore something else. Given that, you might as well wear the dress you love and look good in!</p>
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<li> Having gone thru these silly thought experiments, it seems even more obvious that the correct test for what you should wear is what will make YOU feel good. Wear the taupe!</li>
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<p>French comment cross-posted with others.</p>
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<p>That’s hilarious! Maybe back in the day when brides were virginal and parents were grateful to have more labor for the family farm. I don’t think it matters much anymore. We’re off to a wedding this month for a very good friend’s son. She ended up helping the bride plan (and she and her husband are paying for) the wedding. I have no idea what’s she’s wearing and I didn’t ask when I saw her the other day, but knowing her she’s probably recycling a Pucci or one of the very expensive outfits she cycles for “special occasions.” I don’t know when any of my sons will marry but if invited I highly doubt anyone will care what I wear, they know I’d wear something tasteful and you’ll never catch me in some taupe confection…bronze maybe, but pro’lly not taupe.</p>
<p>“I’d wear something tasteful and you’ll never catch me in some taupe confection” Ha? The OP is thinking of wearing taupe so I’m guessing that is supposed to be funny?</p>
<p>coffeebean: I don’t have time to read the entire thread, but my immediate reaction is that it is an absolutely charming idea to wear the same beautiful dress to both weddings. It makes the dress a heirloom garment in my mind. </p>
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<p>If anyone at one of my kids’ weddings got that message, I’d be sad we knew someone who thought like that.</p>
<p>My D’s MIL wore the same outfit to D’s wedding as she had to her own D’s wedding a couple years earlier. Seemed like a perfectly fine idea to me. She mentioned it in passing, and I know she didn’t “run it by” D before hand, and D would have been puzzled if she did.</p>
<p>Life’s too short to be sucked into that kind of judgmental consumption. Wear the dress you want to!</p>
<p>Not sure why anyone would give up a chance to buy a new dress.</p>
<p>Because some people don’t like to shop.</p>
<p>Just tell your sons that it’s a tradition! 
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