There is going to come a point where you will have to make your own choices, make your own decisions. The first one is that you’re going to the school which is free for you. Eventually, it will be about you choosing your own courses. About you working and using your money as you wish. About socializing. About moving out.
What is the alternative? Going into a career you hate, and living at home until they marry you off to the man they choose?
You have a tricky situation, with cultural expectations, nuances, and norms that may be difficult for many of us to understand. That said, there are some concrete things that you can do in the meantime.
Be selective and strategic in what you do and do not say. As mentioned by others, you do not need to convince you parents about your chosen major or profession right now, you just need to get yourself in the door to college. There is no productive conversation about journalism that is going to happen, and as other responses have discussed: you can (and likely should!) major in something other than journalism in order to become a valued, successful journalist.
You’ve been conditioned to share everything with your parents, and thus it feels harmful, wrong, or anxiety provoking not to do so. That is completely understandable and it’s going to take time for you to feel differently. Your wanting to convince them about the rightness of your desired major is part of this.
Do not talk about journalism. Decide on a major that could mean different things to different people, aka your parents, and describe a prestigious/acceptable career path that follows. It does not matter if you don’t go into that career! As others have mentioned, successful journalists typically have degrees in fields other than journalism. Take the classes, get your degree, and different options will unfold for you in time. On graduation day they can not force you into a particular job or field or graduate school. But degree in hand, you can make decisions and apply for roles that you’re not able to today.
You are also going to set up a separate email address for yourself, and a separate bank account. Do not announce that you are doing this, you just do it; your new email account and your bank account are private. If they already read or check your emails, keep your old email account open and use it on occasion for benign correspondence. (If you email them, use the old email address, the one they already know.) Your new bank account should be opened as a paperless account, and you can open it with your address at college; even without living on campus you will have a mailing address there.
Enroll in college. Start your classes. You’re going to do great.
Here is a snippet of advice from Captain Awkward around controlling parents and college:
-We’ve already covered finding more permissible reasons to be out of the house more, and I also suggest that you become pre-emptive and extremely detailed in informing your parents of your schedule. Not because they deserve it, or because knowing where you are every minute is healthy or something that parents of adult children are entitled to, but because it puts them off balance and out of the role of monitor and interrogator if you do it first. I want to be clear that this practice is not about rewarding controlling behavior, it’s about you being in undercover survival mode until you move out and about giving you low-stakes, daily practice in informing them of what you are doing instead of asking permission . In the past, you might have asked or floated a trial balloon – “I want to join a chem study group or audition for the play, what do you think? ” For now, try informing them – “Good news, I’ve joined a chem study group with some of the best people in my class!” “Good news, I got a part in the fall play! ” – and treating whatever it is as non-debatable. You could print out a grid of your schedule and post it on the refrigerator, or tell them each day “I have class until three, and then I have rehearsal until seven and my chemistry study group meets in the library until nine. I’ve packed myself some leftovers for dinner, I’ll see you before 10. Love you! ”
Unfortunately, when the student is dependent on parent money (and/or cooperation on financial aid forms), controlling parents have all of the power in the relationship. And if the student lives at home and commutes, the parental pressure can be more intense (the likely reason the parents want the student to live at home and commute).
Go to Kean. Pick a double major or a major/minor that you like. See if there is something you like and that they can live with, but if not I would just tell them that you pick your major later on.
Just throwing this out there- can you be an English or writing major? You can tell them that you plan to apply for Teach for America or City Year after graduation- and teach. You can actually choose any major for TFA and then elect to teach English if you join. While you are at Kean you can work for the school paper and try to get interesting internships for YOU- you can frame it differently for your parents.
Once you finish TFA (if it looks interesting) you can go to grad school- take a look at the impressive list of graduate schools listed on the website- law, international affairs, etc. and take a look at the careers and companies that TFA alum are part of.
You can get to the career you want, but it might not be the direct path you hoped for. In the meantime maybe discussing TFA can help you.
I work in a field that is an intersection of writing and science that is generally well paid and creative. I have hired many PharmDs (and even the occasional MD) who got the degree but either never wanted to be a pharmacist/doctor (family pressure) or tried it and hated it. They are employed as writers. That level of education is generally overkill for the work we do, but there are times when we lean heavily on their knowledge.
I have also hired journalism majors—history majors, marketing majors, public heath majors, you name it—to do the same job. I myself majored in comp lit as an undergrad followed by English PhD. That also is overkill for the job, but my experience as a grad student English teacher helps me develop newer writers on the job.
In general, my feeling is that undergraduate degrees open doors, regardless of what you study, and often more than the one obvious door. A good education teaches you how to think critically, how to analyze and assess information, how to research, how to synthesize your learnings and form your own viewpoint, supported by data.
I’m not saying you should do what your parents want you to do. I am saying that if you do, that doesn’t mean you only have to be a pharmacist. Whichever school or path you choose, what you do with that education is up to you.
Do not volunteer any information, passwords, etc. before orientation (I doubt colleges provide much before then and it’s impossible they remember exactly when your older siblings provided theirs. Those things vary anyway.)
Go to Orientation early and spend the day there. (Keep quick notes so you can proactively list everything that justified your being there later than basic orientation, if need be - ie., went and met with career officer, Pr.X/arranged in advance, etc.)
Create your college email so you have a 2nd one beside the one you’re currently using. Look into ways IT can work for you rather than being a way for your parents to spy on you.
This situation must be very stressful.
Look into the Kean Public health/policy program with the MPA that was suggested upthread. It is NOT a science major (focus is government, society, politics of health, inequlity, communication… and is excellent preparation for law school or any career in writing.) You can keep that to yourself.
Did you get into Kean’s Honors program? I see from their website that it was being redeveloped in 2023 but perhaps admissions can give you more info.
If your parents only accept education as a major, you can do Secondary+English or social studies and add a writing minor 
Wrt pharmacy not leading to medicine, I meant it as a 2nd pt against Rutgers but also for your sister, who you said studies pharmacy and later wants to be a doctor.
You can open a bank account all by yourself. You don’t need the help of siblings and friends. Open one near Kean….there are banks there and usually the banks in college towns have some college account thing for college students. Inquire there. No need to tell anyone else…at all.
You can major in what they want…and add a second major which is higher interest to you. Again…these could be explained as “electives”. No need to even explain a double major or minor.
My advice….Kean is the most affordable and the easiest one for commuting purposes. Go…get your bachelors degree. Cross the rest of the bridges later.
And fact…many students pursue careers that have nothing to do with their majors….even pharmacists. One of the most successful Pharma grads I know…who did work research Pharma for a couple of years…is now a very very successful real estate agent…earning more than he did for Big Pharma.
I didn’t read the entire post but you can have amazing career in journalism. I have students all over the country doing amazing things in TV, print and multi-media journalism. (I teach it) Follow your passion or at least your gut.
fwiw I also know someone’s child who tried PharmD but couldn’t get through it despite transferring to another school then transferring back to original school. Took him 6+ years to graduate with another major.
If Kean has dorms (I’m not familiar with the school) you could explore becoming a RA as a sophomore which would allow you to move out of the house. Typically, RA’s have free room & board plus a stipend so this would allow you to be financially free from your parents and out from under their thumb.
While being an RA is a good idea, these positions are often competitive and hard to get.
OP I agree 100% that you can achieve your goals with any major. Go to Kean and find a major, double major, major/minor that you like.
Work on the school paper and plan to move out of your home once you graduate.
Do you think so? What reason should I give then? I need a reasonable, valid argument that doesn’t just have to do with me having no interest.
Okay, I will. But I need other arguments!
Haha, no, of course not. They want me to eventually get a stable job and make lots of money for myself. The only problem is, they don’t trust that I know what I’m doing with my life.
I guess you’re right. I’ll need to give up on the Journalism argument. Then what do you suggest I fight for?
That makes sense.
I already have a separate email address for myself, I just need a bank account once I turn 18, and an alternative mailing address.
Thank you!
Do you think it would work? I’ve always tried being vague, but maybe I should start taking the initiative.
What exactly is TFA? Would it be an internship? A yearslong program after graduation?
I’m not really sure. I think I’d only be able to if I also do education.
Thank you. Your words are really comforting.
I think that’s something you apply for once you get a certain number of credits.
OK!
Idk what she wants to be, but I don’t think she wants to be a doctor.
I see! I wonder if that’ll be harder than that though…
I realize it isn’t easy to get a RA position, but it is something to consider if the OP would like more freedom. I just wanted to throw it out as an idea for getting on campus (if that is of interest).
And may be harder still for an applicant who had previously only commuted from living with parents, rather than living in a dorm or similar.
Yeah, very unlikely that anyone would be selected to be an RA if you haven’t lived in the dorms.
TFA is Teach for America. It is a program designed for non-education majors to teach in underserved communities after graduation. You would have the same contract as teachers. Pay in NYC is actually pretty good, and you could teach English. I thought if you went this route you could major in English (or something similar) and tell your parents you plan to teach. From there- you can do whatever you want. There is a 2 year commitment.
But- you do not have to do this if you are not interested. You could still go to Kean for free, major in whatever you want, and get a job/move out once you graduate.
I know as pharmacist for 27 years, I have talked several of my son’s friends out of going to pharmacy school. All the analysts have turned pharmacists into miserable robots. We are now being judged how many people we put on hold!!! Go with what you love
Sorry, I’m coming late to this discussion, but I agree with the advice that you find a major offered by Kean that will be acceptable to both you and your parents. I went to Kean as a commuting student for my last two years of college, and I got a great education there. I was an economics major and went on to law school after that, but for the four years before I went to Kean I worked for a Jersey newspaper. Not as a journalist, although the sports editor let me cover a couple of horse shows, but my immediate boss, the managing editor, went on to become a journalism professor at Texas A&M and my city editor went on to become the White House correspondent for the Washington Post, so it was a serious place and I got a pretty good sense of the profession. Some of the writers I worked with had undergraduate journalism degrees, others had graduate degrees and some had degrees in unrelated fields. There are a lot of paths and I suspect that, as in law, it can be helpful to combine an interest in journalism with an interest in another field. So if you can find a major that is palatable to both you and your parents and also write for the school paper, you will be one step along the path. I sense that you would rather not do anything that would feel “sneaky” vis a vis your parents, and I think you should honor that feeling to avoid later regrets. Soon enough you will be independent. I should also mention that I was able to work while I was a student at Kean. I took morning classes and commuted into NYC every afternoon, working as a publicist in the music industry - a position that came to me via one of my newspaper colleagues. I was also on the university concert committee, so commuting, school, work and activities all somehow fit. Just start and be open to opportunities and things will start to happen for you.
I have not read the entire thread. My suggestion is to go to Rutgers for two years or so, transfer to another Pharmacy School that offers a PharmD-JD dual degree (University of Maryland, Baltimore campus, for example). Rutgers does not offer PharmD-JD, correct ? Your parents might pay for this scheme and you will be a JD.
Others have given great ideas for you to provide the outlook you want them to consider. In particular, I think @blueberriesforsal has been spot on.
I do still think you give them no room for doubt: you will not pursue anything related to medicine or pharmacy. Then you tell them other ideas, as previously suggested. And also tell them you know you are going to be fine as long as you are in control of your own future.
I have read only a few posts in this thread.
OP: Any interest in a double major in Communications and Business at Kean University ? Would this satisfy your parents’ desire for a practical undergraduate major ?