<p>^Exactly. This quantity time vs quality time as if they are two sepaprate entities is BS.</p>
<p>Here are some low cost alternatives that our family has used: higher level online courses to replace grade level courses, math competitions, speech team, youth symphony orchestras requiring auditions, Concordia Language Village, Center for Talent Development summer courses at Northwestern, StarTalk summer programs at a variety of universities, other university summer programs for computer science and engineering, internships, Rotary Youth Exchange study abroad, other state department sponsored study abroad exchange programs, self-study for AP exams in courses of interest, state boarding school for gifted juniors and seniors, United World Colleges (2 year IB boarding school with full scholarships for selected U.S. students). I think there are a wide variety of ways that you can support gifted kids. They don’t have to be expensive. Good luck in finding the right ones for your child(ren)!</p>
<p>Remember not to use euphamisms, people. Gifted is different that just bright. Don’t downgrade your gifted kids. I did a lot as a parent with our district’s GT program back when. </p>
<p>OP- don’t worry about keeping your child at home and making the public schools give him the academics he needs. My H from India sometimes wonders if our son should have gone away to a boarding school. I said no- what’s the point of having a child if you are sending him away? Even if there are mother/son clashes (extrovert/introvert personality styles among other things).</p>
<p>You need to make sure your child gets the best education offered in your area (for us public trumps private). You also want to be sure he is loved for himself, not just his brain.</p>
<p>Do go for summer programs. Depending on where you live there are various 3 week gifted tlaent search programs for many subjects, not just math. The problem is that when they come home from (finally) being with academic peers is that they may have an attitude of how dumb parents are (where do they think they got their brains from?).</p>
<p>Kid now out of college. I look back at choices made- early entry to kindergarten when almost 5, elementary grade “skipped” etc. Couldn’t hold son back. Son didn’t take the initiative to push the academic limits. </p>
<p>Despite any traumas of his teen years I would not want to have sent him away. You need to figure out if your son wants to go away. If so, investigate. If not, be a family. I know a couple (from India) whose son goes to boarding school- there is a tradeoff. Even if it is an elite school it will likely not be solely gifted kids.</p>
<p>So much more I could write. Ask yourself why you wanted kids- to be with them or …</p>
<p>Around here if you send your kiddo away to school everyone who doesn’t know it’s because great grandpa went there, grandpa went there, dad went there, thinks something is “wrong” with the kid…drugs?, disciplinary problems? drinking problem?.. gets the tongues wagging.</p>
<p>and have no regrets. He loved it, thrived, and continues to value that time in his life to the point that he started a Coverdell account to help send his niece to the same school. Boarding school was all his idea in the first place. For the niece, not so. So we took her on some exploratory visits and it totally changed her outlook. Likewise, I had tried to get my daughter to apply to same school as son, but she was rebellious and wouldn’t do it. But when we went to his graduation (I had to force her to come) she walked around all glowy-eyed, saying “this is so cool!”</p>
<p>I would NOT send a child to BS primarily thinking it is a means to an end. It is a wonderful end in its own right. Yes, your son is happy and doing fine, but there are options he hasn’t even considered. I say, make some visits. You can do informal visits without interviewing since he’d just be feeling out the idea.</p>
<p>As far as the “leaving the family” issue, in my experience high schoolers spend less and less time with their families anyway. BS is a good structured, supervised transition to college life. I hated to see my kids going so far away and financial constraints meant my son went to relatives instead of coming home for some holidays. I could not afford to go to Parents Weekends but it sounds like you would be able to.</p>
<p>BS holidays are generally longer than public school holidays so when he comes home for Christmas or spring break, it will likely be a 3 week break.</p>
<p>I say, don’t be selfish in keeping options from your son, but also don’t pressure him into anything. Learn more about what BS has to offer so you and he can make educated decisions. And don’t let all the naysayers put you off! You’ll notice none or very few of them have any actual personal experience with sending kids to BS, just the usual (false) stereotypes. We live in an area where NOONE sends their kids away to school so I am all too familiar with fending off incredulous remarks.</p>
<p>Here are some of the things BS have to offer:
Millbrook has its own zoo!
At Putney a few student artists get their own studio. Or live in their own wood-heated cabin senior year.
Many BS offer 9 or more languages to choose to study
NMH tries to get every student to study abroad
Proctor Academy offers Mountain Classroom and Ocean Classroom. Would your son like operating and living on a boat, sailing to the Caribbean for a semester while doing related coursework?</p>
<p>It’s not all about academics and rounding out your CV. One of the benefits of BS is keeping gifted kids from getting lazy and giving them the gift of a true peer group.</p>
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<p>YMMV depending on your geographic location and the academic quality of the local public/private schools. </p>
<p>In the case of areas with crappy local public/private high schools, it may be the only way to ensure your child gets adequate academic preparation for a decent/reputable/elite college. That was the experience of relatives in a certain part of Mississippi where even the local private schools were so academically horrid that even their top graduates tended to struggle/drop out from their directional state campuses…much less their academically reputable OOS public flagship or private counterparts. </p>
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<p>This only applies if one attends one of the elite academically rigorous boarding schools…and only if they’re the types motivated by being influenced by such peer groups. </p>
<p>There are plenty of boarding schools outside of that elite with weaker academic requirements than some of the better public schools…especially magnet schools like the one I attended in NYC. </p>
<p>One particular standout case was one college classmate who attended a mid-Atlantic BS where he fulfilled his science requirements by taking two years worth of “rocks for jocks” type non-lab courses…not the 3 years worth of rigorous lab courses and a year of rigorous science electives like psychopharmacology*, computer programming, or engineering technology. Moreover, I ended up having to effectively teach him the equivalent of high school/first-year undergrad US History because he exhibited enough serious gaps in the basics that it was causing him serious problems with completing assignments for courses needed for major/distribution requirements. What’s more scary was he somehow passed the US history AP exam. </p>
<ul>
<li>Science elective taken mostly by aspiring pre-meds/pharmacy majors. Was one of the few who just took it out of interest.</li>
</ul>
<p>alooknac,</p>
<p>We also have no regrets about sending our DS to boarding school. We are constantly surprised, though, by the hostile reactions we get from non-boarding school parents.</p>
<p>First a disclaimer. My Ds are/were day students at an elite BS, so may have the best of both worlds. </p>
<p>That said, I agree completely with GMT and aloonac. Don’t believe all the biases and preconceived notions of people who have no knowledge about the reality of boarding school. Certainly there are some children from dysfunctional families that are shipped off to BS. Those dysfunctional families are also in your local public HS.</p>
<p>Most of my Ds’ friends who board have strong positive relationships with their parents and siblings. In these days of text messaging, FB, cell phones and Skype there is both quantity and quality time, even if it is not face to face. In fact, many teenagers find it easier to be open with their parents when they are not physically in the same room. They do not suffer from any lack of parenting, and it is actually quite an act of generosity on the part of the parents to send their kids away, not because they want to , but because it is the best thing for the child.</p>
<p>The level of academic rigor varies dramatically between schools. The advantage of the most rigorous schools is that your “gifted” child can be in a math class two levels above BC calc with other HS students instead of college students at the local uni. They can be in a class of 12 students reading Dante where everyone has always completed the homework and has something to contribute to the conversation. For certain kids that is clearly a trade-off worth leaving home early, particularly if that level of challenge is not available at local public or day schools. </p>
<p>However, it takes more than academic prowess for a kid to be happy at BS, particularly the elites. They need to be very independent, advocate for themselves when they need help or support, and be self-confident enough to hold their own even when they are not the smartest person in the room or the best athlete on the team. They also need to choose it for themselves. Sending a kid off to BS because it will give them a better chance to get into a selective college is a bad idea and unlikely to work. Investigate the options, but the reason to go is because the kid wants to be there for the HS experience, not as a short-cut to an elite college.</p>
<p>My D2 definitely fits the category of gifted, and has gotten many mailings and encouragement to apply for scholarships from boarding schools over the past few years. I give her each mailing, and let her know that if she is interested we can discuss it further. She has not chosen to do so; she is quite introverted, and somewhat disorganized. I think she figures she is better off having a few more years at home with mom, college will come soon enough.</p>
<p>BUT, as a junior this year, she is starting to chafe at the limited course offerings of her high school. It sounds somewhat similar to yours in size and limited APs (but some rigorous honors courses). She took some very intense college classes last summer, and is somewhat bored the coursework at her HS this year. No option for college courses during the year (private school that does not accept “outside credit”, we tried). She has been at her school a long time (K-12), and doesn’t really want to leave now for her senior year. But I do think she has been thinking lately that a different choice (boarding school or a day school across town that has more academic rigor) might have been a good idea, but she would have wanted to change in 9th or 10th grade. I think the other day school would have been best, but too late now for us.</p>
<p>One of her best friends is a boy she met in her summer college courses who is on scholarship at a boarding school in the East. He is at the top of his class there, and thriving on the academic challenges. But he had some serious conflicts with his mom, who is not from the US and didn’t really see a lot of value in some of his academic pursuits. It was the best situation for all of them for him to go away to school.</p>
<p>It is not an easy decision, but I would say if your son is happy with his classes and ECs, can use local colleges to expand his coursework in high school, and you have a good family situation, keep him home and save your money for college (his and his siblings). Lots of good suggestions from Apollo6, there are a lot of good options out there besides boarding school.</p>
<p>Both of my kids went to boarding school for very different reasons. D went for junior/senior year and WildChild 9th-12th. I’ve posted enough in the past and I’m sick of defending boarding schools to people who really have no real concept of what they can provide and the many different reasons a family might make this choice.</p>
<p>I respect the choice of families to keep their kids at home, and I would expect the same consideration for families who choose this educational option. In many cases it is a tremendous sacrifice for the family- not just financially but also to not have daily contact with your child, their friends, coaches, teachers etc. Mine were back in the day before much social networking and texting, too. When we visited Interlochen to look at it with our daughter, the Headmaster addressed the students and parents by saying, “You must thank your parents. They are willing to give us what is most important to them- and I don’t mean their money!” There were many times we were sad and missed our kids, but what we were able to give them was worth it and our kids appreciate it to this day. Every family’s situation is different- and “never say never”. I felt the same way until it became the right choice for our family.</p>
<p>The school we are talking about is one of the top 10 BS. The student sought it out on their own. I suspect in part to move away from a home situation that is caring but may be chaotic. DS found out this am that the classmate of 6 years was going to be going away so as we were driving to a tennis lesson I asked him what he thought about it.
His quote, “That’s crazy”.
Me-“Are you ok with where you are?”
DS-“Yeah, I would never leave” 
I think he meant in the middle of his high school career. 
So I guess that answers my question about whether he is happy where he is.<br>
As far as my anxiety about summers, passions, and plans, I think it all started with reading the book, “What High Schools Don’t Tell You and Other Parents Don’t Want You To Know” followed by several of the well-known admission books, and finding this site. I mean it starts to sound like if you don’t have perfect SATs and ACTs plus haven’t solved world hunger and found a cure for cancer in your spare time, you really can’t compete in college admissions.</p>
<p>If you haven’t read this yet, it is a better choice than the book you mentioned.</p>
<p>“How to Be a High School Superstar: A Revolutionary Plan to Get Into College by Standing Out (Without Burning Out)” by Cal Newport</p>
<p>Also, give some serious thought to the idea of whether it is important to “compete in college admissions”. My D2 has the test scores for an Ivy (and it has always been obvious that she would have scores like that), but for a variety of reasons related to her personality and interests we are not shooting for that level in college admissions. Helps that she is our 2nd kid, we know that there are MANY excellent colleges beyond the tippy-top names because of our experience with D1. It is much more important for D2 to be at a college where SHE wants to be and can see areas of study she wants to explore than to have her attend the most presigious school. We won’t go too far down the list because she wants to be with bright kids. But we just aren’t going to engage in that pressure cooker atmosphere with her, it is not the right fit. My guess is that her first choice will be a top 10 LAC that is about 50 miles from home, and a couple of other top 30 LACs that aren’t too far away will be her backups that she would be happy to attend (and may get some good merit aid at those backups, too). </p>
<p>I think it is easy to make high school rougher on your kid than it needs to be (and some parents even hurt their relationship with their kids) by pushing too hard on the college admissions/testing/etc. front. Your son sounds like a good kid, he will do fine. Don’t let some of the more extreme CC threads/members or books like the one you mentioned stress you out too much.</p>
<p>Mrspepper, Most kids know where they want to be so your son has answered things by telling you that for him, boarding school sounds crazy. My kids had to make choices in their public high school about potentially leaving their home school for an IB program elsewhere. No interest. Right choice for some but they were not interested. Preferred to stay at their school and take AP classes. The choices can be dizzying for bright and gifted kids- local schools, magnets, privates,boarding schools,etc. It all seems to work out in the end most of the time.</p>
<p>intparent–Yes, I believe I did read the “superstar” book. It made a lot of sense. I wanted DS to read it but he was not really interested at the time. It was the one that was all about lightening up your schedule in order to pursue your passion, right? The problem with my DS is that he likes to be involved in many things. He is really in the “trying everything stage” right now. His small school encourages it because they need as many people as possible to be involved in order to provide the ECs. Sports, theater, music, math team, speech, etc. all work hard to arrange schedules so the kids can participate in as much as possible. As you can imagine, this is amazing for my son who wants to do it all. However, I wonder when he will be spread too thin. He handles it really well and thrives on it, but I posted on another thread that everything I read about college admissions is that they want specialists rather than well-rounded kids. If he could follow that book’s advice and limit his broad involvement, I can see where that would be create more free time… except, he is really reluctant to give things up in order to pursue one or two things. When I think about it, 15 seems so early in life to have to found your life’s passion. Shouldn’t it still be about exploring your options and trying new things? How much can you really have tried by the end of middle school anyway? It seems kids are expected to grow up so much more quickly than in the past. Or is that just antiquated thinking on my part?</p>
<p>I think the whole idea of depth in ECs is one more way people try to work the system. My daughter was involved in so many things–music, sports, Destination Imagination, academic team, as many things as she could fit. Some kids are just really curious and want to try all kinds if things. DD never did anything because she sthought it would or would not look good. I, too, did everything when I was a kid. I would not change any of it.</p>
<p>I was also was a lot like my son. I was very involved many different ECs. And like him, they were things I was interested in. Back then, in my school, there wasn’t the idea of a hs “resume”. I know that he doesn’t think about how his activities “look”. He would resist the idea of doing something he didn’t really like just to put it on his application. It wouldn’t feel “authentic”.( I haven’t suggested ECs beyond encouraging him to look for leadership opportunities.) Maybe that is why I am having a hard time trying to get him to give me some direction on what he wants to do with his summer. Last I asked, he said, " I’d really like to do more biking this summer". ( Of course it WAS the first really beautiful spring day and he hadn’t been on a bike since Oct. I don’t blame him but I was thinking more about math camp vs music vs mission trip, etc…)</p>
<p>Sounds to me like you have a great kid, Mrspepper. He will do well.</p>
<p>“Selfish, I know, but I wanted DS as a part of our family and I felt these were important years in which to instill values, give moral support etc”</p>
<p>Seriously? You think this is selfish? The only way I can imagine sending a kid away to boarding school is if there was serious trouble at home, conflict that he needed to be away from. The most precious gift you can give to him is your love and support. And BEING THERE. Maybe if he was in a situation where he was getting threatened by gangs, bullied or getting into serious trouble. But otherwise, just to get more opportunities at a challenging high school experience? He will have plenty of opportunities at college.</p>
<p>“The most precious gift you can give to him is your love and support. And BEING THERE.”</p>
<p>This is the same argument people use for mothers who work outside the home, that put their kids in preschool. I realize that parents want the ego gratification that their kids need them to be physically there 365 days/year, but the kids probably don’t.</p>
<p>As the parent of 2 kids who went to BS, I want to thank MoWC for saying what I feel. I totally respect others who for whatever reasons don’t send their children to a boarding school; I realize that I am in a tiny minority of parents of kids who go away to school. And like GMT+7, I too am still surprised at (and weary of) the judgment and comments I get from other parents for “sending my children away” (yes, I’ve had it put to me like that more than once.) I have no regrets at all about having them away at boarding school. I have missed them at times, but that’s always tempered by knowing how happy they have been there and what they’ve gotten out of it.<br>
That said, if it’s not right for your family, I’m sure you’ll find other good solutions for your child and that he’ll do great. But I wouldn’t discount the idea of it out of hand without at least taking a look; you might be surprised.</p>