<p>It’s a very real consideration. My boyfriend and I went to college across the street from one another. When he was busy, I partook in the full range of things that the school had to offer – hung out with friends, went to parties, etc. When he was not, we were always together. Although I love him and we are engaged to be married, I really think that the amount of time that we spent together was detrimental to my forming strong bonds with friends in college, and he also caused some unhappiness and regret about my study abroad (I LOVED it, and I wish I had spent a year away instead of a semester, but I didn’t partially because of him. He was opposed to me going at all).</p>
<p>I learned. A lot. When I was 20 I decided to study abroad even though he was opposed to it. I made my choice for graduate school based on my own needs, and not his. Even now, I’m in graduate school and he’s stationed at an Air Force base 80 miles away, and I have to balance my desire to see him <em>every</em> weekend with my need to socialize with my colleagues and peers, develop opportunities here, etc. I manage, but you know what? Learning to be firm with him when I need time to study or when I can’t do something gave me the skills to be firm with others on the same issues. You’d be surprised how much your daughter could learn from the relationship, even if it doesn’t last past Christmas.</p>
<p>But…and this is the hard part…you’re not really going to be able discourage frequent visits. This is something your daughter will have to learn on her own. My mother tried to tell me before I went to college that I shouldn’t go away with such a close, steady boyfriend because I was going to meet SO many people that I would like and that I wouldn’t get a chance to test the variety out there. That just made me MORE determined to see him as much as possible. The less you say, the better. Trust me, your daughter will make her own way, and she will realize that she is missing out. I say this as someone who is still with her high school sweetheart: Likely it won’t last and she’ll move on. And if it does, the two of them will figure out how to negotiate their time so they each feel satisfied and happy.</p>