When I was first failing, I didn’t tell them, because I thought I could handle it and I didn’t want to disappoint them. But the situation kept repeating and repeating itself. And now I don’t know what to do, or how to start the conversation…
Just tell them. What is your GPA, and your major? Are they paying a lot to send you to school? Are they not asking you such questions?
If you can’t find the words write it on a piece of paper “I’m on probation. I don’t know what to do.” You aren’t the first student who has been there, you won’t be the last. The worrying before you tell them is the worst. They can help you.
If you received any decent grades, I would start by telling them that you got your report card and there is good news and bad news.
Did the spring semester start yet? They need to know what your plan is - will you be retaking a course? Do you need a semester off?
It’s hard to say without knowing details or your relationship. My advice is to pick a time when they are not rushed and seem relaxed. Explain what you posted here. Be prepared to discuss what led to failing grades and what specific actions are you going to take to fix it. Come up with solutions to present.
Do you want to stay, come home, transfer? Explain how you will keep them in the loop better and figure out when they will get updates.
If one will react stronger, pick the calmer one. Mine usually tell me stuff then we ease H into the issue. lol
Good luck!
Do it now. My friend’s son had this problem last spring and didn’t tell his mother in May. Then in June they went on vacation and he didn’t want to ruin it. Then he received notice that his scholarship was revoked. It was almost too late to help but his mother COULD help. She helped him appeal, got some medical back up. She also decided he could only take 3 classes in his major and helped him find another class that would be a (more likely) A for his gpa.
My daughter appealed her lost scholarship on her own (she was VERY close to the 3.0 she needed and was successful) but she still didn’t tell me. Well, when she did I made some suggestions (that she change her major) and we picked a better schedule for her and again, classes where she was more likely to get A’s and not C’s. She was SO much happier when she wasn’t struggling and in fact never got another C, received mostly A’s (even in the dreaded math class).
Your parents might be a lot more understanding and helpful than you think.
I would approach your parents with the truth as soon as possible, but emphasize your plan going forward. Is it CC classes to raise your GPA? Meeting with your advisor regularly? Getting a tutor? Study groups? Mental health support? Whatever you thing you need to do to succeed, emphasize the plan.
Remember your parents love you. While they might be disappointed, that won’t change.
You’ve got this.
You say, “Mom and Dad, I have some bad news. I am on academic probation. I didn’t want to tell you because I was embarassed and I knew you’d be disappointed. I am disappointed in myself. I am hoping you can give me ideas to help me while I get through this and turn things around.”
Truth heals humans and their relationships as well. All that stress, guilt, confusion, fear, uncertainty, disappointment and loneliness weighing you down, can be really bad for your mental health, future and your relationship with your parents.
Go to them, confess and ask for help. It’s okay if initially they get upset and hurt. That’s normal and you should be ready for some backlash. You need some of that to straighten up things.
Don’t think it’s the end of the world, people make mistakes. What’s important is to genuinely learn from your mistake and genuinely value for their forgiveness and support.
Please listen to all of the suggestions above…I wish my son had told us ASAP. It all did work out, and it will for you too, but would save all involved at lot of angst. Parents do understand!
@Sybylla, My GPA is very low at this point, and I changed my major from Bio to Nursing because I like it better. They do ask me how I am doing, and I tell them good and change the subject.
@“ja;sldkjf” Yeah, my stress is over the roof and I can’t breathe.
@CheddarcheeseMN I’ve only told them about the few good grades I’ve had in specific. The spring semester started today, and I spoke to a counselor (that’s how I found out about probation).
@drewsmom17 Will definitely think about that.
@twoinanddone It’s too late for appeal, but I am still going to tell them about it.
@momofsenior1 I am making a plan right now to see what can be done.
@CupCakeMuffins I never thought about like that, that calmed me down.
@Mabelsmom Will do.
Thank all of you for your suggestions, I am going to find a time to let them know and will give an update about the aftermath.
When I read the title, I thought you meant police probation. Make sure they know you’re talking about ACADEMIC probation… 
And having a plan is key. You might want to give them a written version of that after the face to face conversation so they can read it once they calm down. Good luck!
Has anyone else seen the funny story of the girl who sends her parents an email that goes something like:
Hi Mom and Dad,
I have some news. I have a new boyfriend, his name is Meat. I have a new tattoo with his name on it. Actually we are moving in together next month. It’s funny, I’m really excited to move in with him and the thing is I’m actually pregnant and we are thinking of getting married. When I have the baby I will probably need to drop out of school. Actually none of that is true but I am failing math.
Your parents just want to know the truth, there are so many worse things you could be doing than failing some classes.
Everyone else has given you great advice but I will just add that I think the people who succeed the most at life and have the most to offer others in both employment and personal relationships are those who have failed at something. Honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve failed. You’ll be ok. One day you will use this experience to help someone else.
Take a deep breath, be brave for a minute and just tell them. As everyone has mentioned already, you will feel so much better.
Good advise above. I’ve been in your parents shoes, but worse situation,… and it was the lies (not the academic failure) that hurt the most.
You’re receiving great advice here.
Our oldest failed and nearly failed his share of classes when he was having a rough go. He thought we would flip out when he told us, and was shocked when we didn’t. We were just really concerned about him and wanted to help him.
I guess what I’m saying is your parents may surprise you.
Sending you loads of hugs and encouragement.
You’re so much more than your grades.
Breaching trust in the relationship by introducing lies will create a far more damaging problem than academic probation.
This is way more common than you might think.
Give your parents some space to feel a wide range of emotions. They might be angry, shocked, disappointed, and then get into helping mode.
One of our kids got into some trouble in college, nothing too serious, but she was embarrassed and did not tell us. We found out later and needed to explain to her that of course we were going to find out sooner or later and if she had told us right away, there were corrective steps we could have taken.
What did she know? She was a 19 yo kid.
Be brave, tell them.
Never a good time and never pleasant…but just do it. Do it ASAP. They’re your parents. They will help you. At first I’m sure they’ll be disappointed that you didn’t tell them sooner but they’ll help you deal with things and chart a new course.
Again, just do it…NOW.