I need advice. I messed up my junior year and I don't know how to manage my time or work towards anything

Pre-College Topics High School Cafe
1

I did pretty well academically in freshman and sophomore year (took higher level classes, got all As), but I had no ECs for freshman year and just a few surface-level club memberships in sophomore year because I was lazy and then felt bad about it, which just made it worse. I thought that because school had been so easy I could take a much heavier workload while also stocking up on some ECs this year (5 APs, including Calc BC, Physics 1, Chem), and I was so wrong. I have a flat C and B in Physics (used to be a B+ til the final exam which everyone failed tbf) and an A- in Chem. I just got kicked out of Art Honor Society because I couldn’t do the 10 hour service fulfillment, and I think it’s all because my studying habits are awful.

Around the middle of the year, my homework started piling up until I only had one night to learn ALL of Unit 5 for Calc BC and my grade dropped to a B- (at highest it was a B), and then I started this endless cycle of staying up insanely late to finish my work because I’d always push it until the last minute, crashing on the weekend, sleeping for 16+ hours, so tired I didn’t want to do anything even if I had the time, and then letting all the work pile up again because I slept through class or something useless.

I’ve missed a countless number of deadlines because of this, and I just can’t seem to get myself to be proactive. I can’t motivate myself to finish my work unless there’s a knife to my throat and then I feel so guilty about it I don’t want to work even more. I usually pull at least one all-nighter a week and I even forgot my AP exam for Physics was happening until the day before.

I am so disappointed in myself, because it’s not even like I tried my hardest and just didn’t get these concepts. Sometimes when I was studying for a final/AP exam and revisiting material I realized how easy it actually was, I just didn’t put in the effort when it mattered. I went into High School thinking I could have a very decent chance of getting into a school like UVA, and now I doubt even Tech or W&M would take me. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life, let alone what I want to major in. What should I do to make sure I never do this again? I don’t want to keep being such a time-waster. Thanks.

1 Like
2

Maybe you need to talk to someone - get professional help. See if your parents can get you an appointment with a counselor.

It sounds like you coasted but then put way too much on your plate. You overdid it and shut down. It happens.

You are 15 or 16. You don’t need to know what you’ll do with your life. Heck I got a job in my mid 40s I didn’t know existed. And when my desired career failed, I fell into someone at 24 I never thought about.

It’s the same with major - some schools don’t even let you pick one.

College is the last thing you need to worry about. You need to resolve/work on what roadblocks you have. There will be many colleges for you. But that’s too much stress for now.

One step at a time. Get some help. Talk to your parents.

2 Likes
3

Thanks for your advice. If it makes any difference, I’m 17, but yeah, you’re right, I really regret not going to a therapist or something way earlier when I’ve known I’ve had some issues for years. I’m not sure how my parents will handle it though (somewhat conservative, immigrant household).

4

Perhaps if they won’t help, a counselor at school or a member of your clergy (if you go to a religious type service) can.

1 Like
5

OP, you sound like my students, not one student but quite a few of them.

I teach advanced computer science courses. Many of my students have adequate brain power but very little executive skills. Each year I can push 3-5 of them back on track with a combination of various small things working with both students and parents. What have worked include: keeping track of daily assignments, time spent (no judging just tracking), and mood during various activities (doing homework, playing games, watching videos, daydreaming, etc.); setting goals on mood and grades (semester goals broken down to weekly); keeping a daily and weekly planner on when to spend how much time on what; regularly talking (not texting) to at least one teacher and one parent and one friend. It’s a not easy to get started but you don’t need to do all of these. The first tracking can give you a clear understanding on what makes you happy and what causes burden both long term and short term. seeing it makes making changes easier.

2 Likes
6

I know this feels like a catastrophe right now, and I don’t envy you the inevitable conversations with your parents. But truly, you’ll get past this. You just bit off more than you could chew. Five AP classes plus a big jump in extracurricular commitments, would be too much for many if not most students, especially without prior experience with that level of rigor, to build up study habits and time management skills.

One lesson here is that the answer to feeling like you’ve done too little isn’t to suddenly do too much. Moderation in all things!

The somewhat chaotic-sounding nature of your “endless cycle of staying up insanely late to finish my work because I’d always push it until the last minute, crashing on the weekend, sleeping for 16+ hours, so tired I didn’t want to do anything even if I had the time, and then letting all the work pile up again because I slept through class or something useless” begs the question of whether you might be dealing with something like ADHD… but then again it might just be overwhelm from taking on too much. Or it could be more of an emotional issue, such as anxiety leading to a cycle of avoidance/panic/avoicance… and of course it can often be both. It wouldn’t hurt to seek out an educational evaluation, as these are much more difficult and expensive to access after you’re done with high school; and having the support of a therapist could be really valuable, especially since your fear of disappointing your parents seems to limit your ability to turn to them for support - having support from an adult who won’t take your missteps personally can be really helpful and important.

The thing is… a lot of bright students like you can coast through high school, and then they end up having one of these “crash and burn” experiences in college, when wasted tuition dollars make it an even more painful and expensive lesson. So in a way, you’re ahead of the game to have bumped up against your limits now. You have the opportunity to figure out what additional supports you may need, and develop skills both at pacing yourself and at knowing your limits so you don’t over-commit, before you get to college. That’s valuable, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Will this rough year hurt your college prospects? It may well take some of the most competitive schools off the table for now, sure. But that’s not the end of the world either. There are very good four-year schools that would still love to have you. And if you’re “UVA or bust,” there are options with guaranteed transfer pathways - not only your local community college (though that can be a fine option, especially for a student who needs time to explore his interests before choosing a major/career), but also residential campuses like Richard Bland College (which is administratively part of William & Mary but which has transfer agreements with UVA, VT, etc. as well), and UVA Wise.

It’ll be interesting to see how you did on your AP tests. It’s hard to tell from your account whether you actually have gaps in your knowledge/understanding, or whether you just lost points because you weren’t keeping up, but ultimately mastered the material.

Calc BC, AP Physics 1, and AP Chem, all at the same time (plus two others - I assume APUSH and AP Lang or something in that vein) is a LOT. Why did you decide to double up on AP lab sciences? You say you’re unsure of what interests you… but it seems as if you must love STEM, to have taken on such a load. (Is that correct, or were you just making a misguided attempt to prove yourself?) It’s hard to connect with what you actually find rewarding, when you’re living in the kind of survival/panic mode you’ve been in this year. Try to catch your breath and get back in touch with yourself - what do you actually enjoy learning?

1 Like
7

Hi, I appreciate the response a lot. For clarification, I’ve always been more interested in the humanities with medicine as a bit of exception, but ultimately wanted to try the Pre-med track in college, since before this year I excelled in both. I’m considering majoring in Gov or Law on the Pre-med track or even double majoring (assuming my university allows it, but I’m not anywhere close to sure. I’d jump at the CC transfer option if medical schools weren’t more critical of CCs.

As for the grading, I didn’t put in much effort on time so it’s hard to say where I would’ve been, but at the start of the year, I was getting high 90s on physics tests while almost exclusively A- and below on Formative assessments because they were late. I really think I could’ve finished Calc BC off with a B or even B+ (having taken Precalc BC last year) had I kept up now that I’m studying for the AP Exam.

I’ll definitely consider looking into getting evaluated as well. I don’t really get test anxiety (or any sort of anxiety) often, and I’m usually a really calm “I’ll get it next time” sort of person, but clearly the lack of pressure didn’t work out for me.

1 Like
8

In terms of the classes you take, pre-med is basically just a set of 8-10 science courses that medical schools require. You can definitely major in humanities and take the required pre med courses alongside.

One thing I would do is see how heavily weighted each assignment is, and prioritize those that are weighted more. For example, if grades on one of your classes is mostly based on quizzes and tests, then I would focus on studying for those quizzes and tests, which may or may not include doing the homework.

Similarly, if you have two major projects due, I would try at least putting the time to get both to a B, rather than getting one to the level of an A and not having the time or energy for the other. Generally, assignments often follow the law of diminishing returns: the last 10% is the hardest to get.

1 Like
9

It’s really good that you are reaching out about this. Echoing others here, talk with your parents and talk with a trusted counselor or teacher at school. I believe your parents will want to help you work through this but even if they are not as supportive, truly adults at school will be looking to help you figure this out. The thing is, you may need to be persistent. Check back in here for support and encouragement.

Don’t catastrophize about college or career now. Truly, life takes wild turns and there are MANY pathways to your goals (and its likely your goals will change as your grow older too). Those of us who are much older have been there/done that so we say that with experience! You’ve got this!

1 Like
10

Please set your priorities. Right now, you need to get some help for yourself. That needs to be first and foremost.

You need to work with your school counselor to choose courses for the upcoming year where you will be successful, and build a solid foundation. You are accelerated a lot and that is not necessary.

Re: professional schools…medical or law…I would suggest you put those on the back burner for now. The important things right now…

  1. Making sure your mental health is good.
  2. Looking for colleges where you can get a good undergrad degree, and where you can see yourself being happy.
  3. Figuring out what you might want to do after you get your undergrad degree can wait!
3 Likes
11

I would say you need help, even if just with time management. We don’t know enough about you but suggestions to investigate ADHD, anxiety, depression make some sense. I know others who had a similar situation with immigrant parents, who were actually diagnosed with ADHD by the college. It is possible as well that you felt pressure to overachieve both academically and with EC’s and had expectations of yourself that were too high. I hope there is at least someone at school to talk with, if therapy is not possible.

12

There are books you can read to get strategies for time management. Some ideas will work, others not so much. It is possible that you are struggling with something like ADHD, and many of thoe strategies will still apply. Yes, you need to work out a plan, probably one that is more moderate, for the next two years.

And you will need a plan for making your plan work. Change is hard, and a big change is actually many small changes, so figure out what you want to start implementing now and making a habit. If you backslide, think about why, then start again. This is like training yourself for anything – a sport, playing an instrument- and you will make mistakes as you improve.

Your parents may want to see everything all at once. If you can, enlist their help with some part of your plan. Maybe ask them to let you study at your dining table, where you won’t be distracted, or to keep your phone for an hour at a time. Odds are they want the best for you too.

So figure out what you need to do, start on it, and give yourself grace. I have lived for decades and still work to manage myself! It’s a lifelong endeavor.

13

coming back to further explain what I mean by keeping track of when you do what for how long and how you feel. Most of my students who are capable but not delivering, when I ask them “why don’t/haven’t you …”, the answer is some variations of “I don’t feel like doing …”.

This is VALID reason. For most high school students, it is very important that they “feel like” doing something before they can actually carry it out, especially when this something itself does not bring joy/satisfaction/happiness. The young brain needs to be in a satisfied and calm state before it can take on challenges. Knowing what activities can give you satisfaction and when you can do it for how long, this gives your brain the “hope” and puts it in a calmer mode before you actually have the satisfaction. The most common and successful technique I use is let the student choose between “play game for 5 minutes then do assignments for 10” and “finish this assignment then have free time”, either way they can get the work done, and quite often in decent quality.

Many times after tracking their activities and mood, the students will realize that they don’t have enough time to both feel satisfied and finish all the work, so they need to cut something. sometimes it’s a hard class, sometimes it’s an EC, and sometimes it’s the time spent switching back and forth between things.