<p>There are good girls out there, my “girlfriend” in another state was one of the good girls. I used quotation marks because we never got to be together in person, and only would of one day if it would of been successful. So there are girls who are not sluts. She was really religious,but still.</p>
<p>What you had was a virtual girlfriend in that you have never been in her company or in the same place as her at the same time. You had a telephone/facebook/internet girlfriend. In all honesty, nothing more than texting to an avatar.</p>
<p>The OP is viewing the world and his family (especially his take on his father) through HIS reality/perspective. Perhaps his father has a beer when he gets home. An Aspie may view this as “he’s an out of control alcoholic”. An Aspie may assume everyone in a bar is a drunken fool. An Aspie may assume that every woman who goes to a bar is a “slut” (his words, not mine). In other words, he is expressing his interpretation of his home environment and the world.</p>
<p>College is not a magical place where one transforms into something they’re not. You don’t magically become “popular” with lots of friends. You don’t magically become a magnet for women. It’s not like what you see on the “Big Bang Theory” where beautiful blondes are around you for the taking. </p>
<p>Another thing----you can’t simply go to college. The only place you can do that is at Community College. To go to any other college, you need to be chosen, picked, accepted by them to attend. In another thread you mentioned NYU. Do you realistically believe this is a possibility? Have you ever been in NYC by yourself? In addition, it is one of the most expensive colleges in the country and they are not known for handing outing a lot of financial aid. By expensive, I mean close to $60,000 per year when all is said and done.</p>
<p>You need to take baby steps. First, continue counseling and treatment for your OCD and related issues. Listen to your parents. Try working at a job. Then, progress to taking a class or two at your community college. Once you become successful doing these things, then perhaps try to get an apartment with a friend and continue with community college and work. Do you understand? Take small steps until you are fully independent and mature enough to take the big step of attending a college somewhere else.</p>
<p>He really is an alcoholic, my mom gets on to him about it all the time. He got arrested last year for attacking me and my mom. He’s almost gotten violent a couple of other times but it’s never escalated that way since. And viewing the world my way? Well yes, but that’s how it really is for ME. And if I wait that long to go to regular college I’ll just have more of my life gone, filled with nothing but loneliness and depression. You can’t get any of your life back and you only live once. I’ve already been told it’s not normal to be my age and never dated, my doctor even asked if I dated with my parents in the room and they sadly said no. And a proffessional doctor should not be asking that. I want a girlfriend myself anyway, but I don’t need to be made felt that I’m abnormal for not having one yet. I went through a long major depression stage over that. I’ve fortunately naturally exited the depression over it.</p>
<p>Thank you for that perspective, ny.</p>
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<p>Yes, it is. I know a lot of people that went through hs without ever having been on a date. Why on earth is it any of your doctor’s business? </p>
<p>You have to understand that this whole thing sounds a bit farfetched to some of us.</p>
<p>Romani you day everything I want to…</p>
<p>I think it might be appropriate to ask about dating in the right context. OP has described both inpatient psychiatric AND residential treatment, and multiple diagnosis. Where I practice, that would include a whole lot of questions!</p>
<p>I will not wait until I’m over 21 or something like that to ever have a girlfriend, that is PATHETIC. And that would mean another 3 years of being alone. And probably very little or no friends because I would just be going to school and leaving everyday, I don’t understand how everyone manages to make friends and find someone to date if they’re aren’t in an eviroment like college. Where do they find their friends and bf/gf? How do they even get a social life? No matter how I start college I want to live on campus so I can actually meet people. I will probably lose my mind and have to be admitted to a psyciatric hospital if I can’t, because I don’t last sane long when I get cut off from people. And I’ve spend enough of my life being lonely and having no one to talk too, it sucks. Would you want to live if everyone else in the world died? I wouldn’t. That’s kind of extreme but who would (except introverts cause they actually like it) want to have NO ONE to talk to and be alone all the time!</p>
<p>Shrink- oh! Sorry, I was thinking of a GP. You’re right, my apologies.</p>
<p>Psych hospitals aren’t the worst place to meet people. Alanon/Alateen meetings aren’t that bad, either. You have lots of options!</p>
<p>Most people have a social life and can get a romantic partner even if they aren’t in a college enviroment. Obviously some of them (if not alot) use dating sites, but I’d use that as a last resort, like if I was never around any women that would want to date me. Everyone thinks everything in life just happens, well NOT TO ME! ANd there’s other people who don’t get the “natural” freebies from life. I have had so much nonsense put into my head from so many different people and it confuses me about life even more. A good example of having to do something, if you want a job you have to apply for one, you can’t just wait for someone to call you or walk up to you and say here’s a job! You can’t just not try for something and it happens, and so many people say you can. If I can’t afford college and can’t get enough aid and/or scholarships, someones not going to come to my door and give me a check for it. People who say things just happen are the lucky people who get to enjoy a normal life.</p>
<p>A doctor asking a teenager if he or she dates is not unusual because the natural follow on question about sexual activity wouldn’t be unusual.</p>
<p>Do I see smart alleck comments? You bullying me? Meh I dealt with alot of bullying I’m used to it.</p>
<p>If he indeed has Aspergers, I dont find it far fetched at all. I did up until he said aspergers. And by doctor he probably means psychiatrist. </p>
<p>My oldest daughter is 23. She is beautiful and happy and didnt have a boyfriend until she was 20. They dated about 3 years but broke up 5 months ago and is now happily single again, living in southern Florida. My niece is a sophomore at LSU and just started dating last year. She ended up dating a boy she went to high school with and he goes to college in Indiana and she goes to LSU in Louisiana … they are both from Chicago and see each other when they can. Many people choose not to have the distraction of dating while in high school. My 16 year old son said he will not have a girlfriend until I buy him a car hahaha and My 18 year old daughter has been with the same boyfriend since the summer before her sophomore year in high school. She is now a freshman in college and he is a junior in college. They are in different colleges but only about an hour apart and spend most weekends at his place. </p>
<p>My point, everyone is different. No one is on the same schedule and you do what works for you. But nysmile is right - college will not magically fix your life. It is a tough place and you have to work hard. There is a lot of stress and girls are not there looking for boyfriends. They are there to get an education. </p>
<p>You have to find what makes you happy, not look for someone to make you happy.</p>
<p>You think no one’s ever dated anyone they met in treatment or a support group?</p>
<p>I actually think this has gone far enough. I have seen several posts from the OP and he is escalating in behavior. I am not sure we are being helpful by responding to him. OP, please call your doctor and make an appointment asap. You need some support and help by someone who really knows you. I hope you feel better about things soon.</p>
<p>T26E4: not with the parents in the room!!</p>
<p>Cartman: NavalTrad made a very good suggestion - join your town’s Alateen group. It’s a support group. You’re protected from bullying (and no one can bully or attack anyone else). You tell your story or if you don’t want to talk you don’t talk. You’re sworn to secrecy so no one who’s there is allowed to talk to non-group members about what’s discussed in the group. It’s for teens whose parents are alcoholic. It can be very tough to see a parent lose control, become verbally abusive or violent, etc. All the teens in the group will be united by the fact they had to live through that. Nobody can be judgemental. It can be a good, supportive experience.
Continue with that while you’re in college, too.</p>
<p>To resume the thread with your original question: go open a bank account in your name. Find a job - your employer will deposit your paycheck on that bank account.
NO matter what job it is, do it well and smile, thinking that it’s your money to go to college. If necessary, say you’re saving to buy a car. Once you’re 18, your dad won’t be able to tell you what to do with that money. Graduate high school with grades as high as possible. While in high school, try to go and take ONE dual-enrollment class (that means you take a community college class while in high school and it’s paid for by the high school) - ask your counselor if you can do that next semester. Do this as a way to test yourself in a college setting, even if it’s not the “right” college setting, it’s still a college classroom with college professors. Get good grades. Prepare for the ACT or the SAT test.
If you have mild Asperger’s, get it on record.</p>
<p>BTW, since you really don’t want to be around alcohol, look at schools in Utah.
I do not know whether you can get in or can afford these schools, but look at each website and fill out the “request information” form.
[Southern</a> Utah University - Cedar City, Utah](<a href=“http://www.suu.edu/]Southern”>http://www.suu.edu/)
[Westminster</a> College: a private comprehensive liberal arts college in Salt Lake City, UT, offering undergraduate and graduate degrees in liberal arts and professional programs, including business, nursing, education and communication.](<a href=“http://www.westminstercollege.edu/admissions/]Westminster”>Admissions | Westminster University)
These is religious so it may not be possible for you, but guaranteed alcohol-free:
[Brigham</a> Young University](<a href=“http://home.byu.edu/home/]Brigham”>Home - BYU)</p>
<p>Since you want to go to college, I assume you like reading. So these are two books you may enjoy:
[Very</a> Far Away from Anywhere Else by Ursula K. Le Guin ? Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists](<a href=“Loading interface...”>Very Far Away from Anywhere Else by Ursula K. Le Guin | Goodreads)
[PowellsBooks.Blog</a> ? The Curiously Irresistible Literary Debut of Mark Haddon - Powell’s Books](<a href=“The Curiously Irresistible Literary Debut of Mark Haddon - Powell's Books”>The Curiously Irresistible Literary Debut of Mark Haddon - Powell's Books)</p>
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<p>While you say you care about an education, the majority of your posts have been focused on college as a means for an enriched social life, especially dating and finding a girlfriend. </p>
<p>More disquieting is the fact there’s little/no discussion about possible academic interests. It doesn’t even make up at least half of your posts’ content. </p>
<p>What are your possible academic interests?</p>
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<p>That’s not going to help him socially unless he’s Mormon. My ex-husband went there and as soon as the girls found out he had no intention of converting, they wouldn’t have anything to do with him.</p>
<p>OP, I don’t think you’re ready for college, to be honest. You seem to see college as a way to escape your home and to get a girlfriend and make friends; the fact is, however, that the same things making it difficult for you to socialize at home will still make it difficult to socialize at college. Also, college can be very stressful, and it costs a lot of money–it is absolutely not something to do unless you’re sure you can handle the work, and have an idea about why you want an academic degree in the first place. Get help for your OCD and other issues.</p>
<p>I have to agree with naviance that this thread is not helpful for you. Call a counselor or a doctor and talk it over with them.</p>
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<p>Oh, ok. You said you “had OCD” and it wasn’t disabling, so one would be forgiven if one were to think you were claiming some expertise. Turns out you just like things neat and organized, and really weren’t in a position to pontificate as to whether true OCD was a disability.</p>