Guess we will never know the answers to these questions as @cheekymonkey hasn’t replied…at all.
Hopefully OP isn’t at the hospital having her stomach pumped.
I think speaking up can be done tactfully. For example, don’t say the chicken is raw, say “I’m sorry, I just can’t eat rare chicken.” If the food just doesn’t taste good, that’s harder.
agree that there are 2 different issues. If the food is undercooked, I would not under any circumstance eat it. And I would simply say I can’t eat pink chicken or like my steak medium or whatever. If there is a particular sauce i really didn’t like, I would make that point as well (and make it about me being picky rather than bad cooking).
If it is just that it is not tasty, I would suggest having alternating dinner at your house, dinner at theirs and meeting at a restaurant. That way you only have to eat there once every six weeks.
I have a friend who is extremely social and has parties at her house a lot. She is a terrible cook. When she caters, it’s fine. She is super thin, food just isn’t really her thing, but she absolutely loves feeding people and having them over. Nothing is under cooked, she tends to cook it to death and back again. I don’t see her for the food, and know that in all likelihood we’ll need a snack when we come home. It’s not inedible though, it just isn’t good.
My mom cooked like the OP’s friend. I literally remember crying over certain dinners - raw bbq chicken on the grill, hamburgers that were raw in the middle. Sloppy joes on white bread. The first time my boyfriend, who would become my husband, came for dinner she put leftover thanksgiving food in a wok with terriyaki! He was a champ and did eat it. She didn’t have a mental illness, she was just an awful cook who didn’t want to put the effort into it.
My Inlaws for years undercooked chicken and meats though they eventually got the hint from their kids and grandkids that chicken needs to be all the way cooked.They will still put cooked meat off the grill on the same platter as they had the raw. They have an overstuffed pantry and refrigerator and they don’t tend to throw stuff away. Old food doesn’t seem to phase them. They have no clue it’s bad. They never get sick. My FIL lived part of his early life in Europe during ww 2 and I think he doesn’t waste food. I don’t know what their friends think.
No one wants to hurt their feelings so the grandkids carefully look at expiration dates before they eat anything. We toss the worse of it when they aren’t looking and put out a fresher version of the same product. At Thanksgiving we all volunteer to bring everything but the turkey. When we go visit for the day we offer to pick up sandwichesfor lunch or we offer to take them out.
I ate undercooked chicken for my entire childhood.
My mom used to buy chicken quarters and cook them until the piece she planned to eat – a breast quarter – was done. But I ate leg quarters, which take longer to cook. My chicken was never fully cooked, and I don’t think she ever realized it because I didn’t understand it myself at the time, so I never mentioned it. All I knew is that leg quarters cooked by anyone else were good and those cooked by my mom were horrible.
My MIL served our family and friends a very odd casserole. Not one person could figure it out.
Was it chicken?No, she assured me knowing I was a vegetarian.
It was finally revealed that she had made a crab cold salad the night before for dinner.
H had led me to believe that he had told his mother that we would not be there for dinner.
So she was annoyed and put the blame on me (first time I spoke up loud and clear and told her that
her son was the culprit). She had taken the day old crab salad and thrown it into a casserole and cooked it.
No one ate it except an egotistical guy who insisted it was delicious and could he have seconds.
Two days later D begged me to take her into the nearby town to have lunch as she was starving. MIL’s food
was disgusting. She had dibs and dabs and served them day after day. The family would dip crackers into
a bowl of cheese spread for happy hour and then leave it out in the heat and then serve it again the next night. Yikes. H finally began looking through her refrigerator before letting her serve him anything when he visited.
H use to think my cleanliness in the kitchen and with food was over the top (no longer). Guess we know why.
Side comments while waiting for OP to return.
Relating to food allergies and sensitivities, we met two couples at a new and trendy SF restaurant that already had a Michelin star. It was a coup to get a table. One of the conceits of this restaurant is that service is family style – each dish serves a few people. So, the waitress asked for food allergies and sensitivities. One man was a vegetarian. Then, ShawWife said she is allergic to peanuts and sensitive to gluten and dairy. Then, the vegetarian’s wife gave a list that went on for about ten minutes. The wife of couple number three then added a few more. By the time it came to me, I normally avoid starch but to make life simple, I just said, “I’ll eat anything” as did the last fellow (my old college roommate). Remarkably, waitress was non-plussed and suggested possible food options for the various sub-groups and somehow kept it all in her head. It seemed to me that all but the waitress’s response could have been straight from a Saturday Night Live skit.
@greenwitch, I get to travel around the world and often order adventurously. Boar’s heart not a problem (I may have had it, actually), but stuffed with blood sausage (uggh). I’ve had ant larvae, huitlacoche (a green, tar-like mold from corn, which actually is really good), sparrow, grasshoppers, some unbelievably smelly fruit, completely unidentifiable stuff in both Japan (where it was raw) and China (where it was at least cooked), … .But, the couple of things I’ve had that take the cake, so to speak, were jellyfish and cold marinated pigeon. I had had jellyfish before cooked differently, but this was on was just disgustingly gloppy.
= Waiting for Godot.
@shawbridge - We needed a trigger warning for that list! My poor stomach is doing flips after reading paragraph #2!
Pigeon is tasty although I haven’t had it cold.
@TQfromtheU, most of those things are not bad or very good. Huitlacoche I’ve had in an omelet at the Four Seasons in Mexico City and in a variety of ways at one of the best restaurants in Mexico City (Quintonil, which is would be a great restaurant anyplace). Sparrow was grilled on the street in Kyoto, IIRC. Not bad but a little bony. But, my strong recommendation: skip the jellyfish and pigeon (which were served to me when someone was taking me out to the best Fukienese restaurant in Hong Kong – he ordered for us). You can also get guinea pig in Peru (not bad) and crocodile (chicken-like IIRC) and emu (not good) in Australia. Someday, I should make a list of all the exotic things that I have had on the road.
At a recent wedding in Taiwan, we had both jellyfish and sea cucumber. And the hostess was very concerned if we would be OK with lamb (as it was also served). 
That aaa as adventurous as I could go, but no raw chicken for me no matter what. I would flatly refuse to eat undercooked poultry or pork.
Pork that isn’t well done is fine to eat.
http://www.porkcares.org/our-practices/food-safety-in-pork-production/the-truth-about-trichinosis-in-pork/
Depends on where, dos
My MIL is a decent enough cook…BUT she often chose food items that our kids just would not eat. She had a curry recipe that might have been delicious if she had not totally over done the curry amount.
I finally just went there with food that my kids would eat…things like hamburgers, or pasta dishes.
Funny…at some point…the other adults started requesting my burgers or pasta or whatever. So I just started to bring enough for everyone.
My daughter ate guinea pig in Ecuador as well. From a street vendor. She lived to tell the tale, but I doubt she’d try it again.
Back to poultry…I had a friend who loved to entertain, and went all out on the table settings but shirked on the cooking. Every single Thanksgiving turkey was bloody. I would warn my kids to only eat the side dishes. Her family would invariably come down with “a stomach virus” or “the flu” a day after the meal. We learned to insist on hosting for turkey day, or go out.
Oddly, their summer entertaining would feature burnt to a crisp BBQ meats, cooked by the husband. However the “margaritas” were made with limes and oranges unpeeled. The entire fruit- peels and seed, were blended to a pulp. Good fiber if you could swallow the mess.
I wonder if the OP is on a slippery slope with her friend. The friend notices that the OP is pushing the food around the plate and not eating it. The friend puts less effort and poorer quality ingredients in the next meal because the OP doesn’t appreciate her efforts.
I think a cooking class for the two friends is a good start for a fix.
I’ve had jellyfish at a Chinese wedding also. I didn’t love it, but it was edible.
I have a good friend who enjoys cooking, but she’s always trying to make classic recipes healthier. The worst was the apple pie with no sugar, a nasty whole wheat crust and then because why not - dabs of peanut butter. My kids never eat anything but bread at their house.