Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>I survived. Not sure my computer did! Just when I got the keyboard working again, I dripped coffee on it yesterday and now my T is pretty fried/touchy. I went to the genius bar today so Im giving it a day or two before making a decision.</p>

<p>I caved and went out on Christmas eve and bought everyone a gift. It was nice to get one thing for everyone and since I had mostly convinced them (and myself) that I was doing absolutely nothing, they were very surprised… AND since H did some shopping on his own, I actually came out even better. H tries, but he hates shopping so much he doesn’t pay attention to the details like the tablet with 4GB vs 8. </p>

<p>Anyway… I love the mantra Missy… Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. It is very very wise indeed and in retrospect was exactly what I did over the wedding without having the words.</p>

<p>CBB - Not sure if you recall but S went thru a pretty rough time back during sophomore year and I became so worried about him I flew there to see him as a spur of the moment thing…. he acted like everything was better or at least fine until I was literally walking out the door. Honestly, I just don’t think they have the language to express all that… so when I there starting talking about putting himself out there more, something like a flood gate opened. Maybe start by giving him permission to recognize the difference between being lonely and being alone. Absolutely the girlfriend thing has to be difficult but “this too shall pass” and sucking it up wouldn’t necessarily be the answer in my book…. Im more of a “you got to get thru it” — so chin up and muddle. Act as if it’s getting better and eventually it will be. It’s not denial and it’s not wallowing. It’s really the best one can hope for when heartbroken. :(</p>

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<p>CBB, sending you the light and hugs for your son!</p>

<p>Missy, kudos on the mantra! Moda, glad you enjoyed it after all. DTE, by the sounds of it, glad you drove :)</p>

<p>Shaw, I can imagine its tough for young, bright partners to arrive at consensus on things. I hope the team doesn’t democratize itself into ineffectuality :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Well, our Xmas journey felt pretty long, but was enjoyable nonetheless. Nice to have a bit of time with mcson, though of course lots of little observances remind me why i worry about him and his muddling ways…eg after driving an extra two hours to get his passport that he’d forgotten, he’d locked himself outta his apartment…we also discovered he’d been accessing the jeep through tail gate because his key fob died and he didn’t realize about either battery replacement or lock de-icer :slight_smile: Silly things like that that remind me he’s still a babe in the woods organizationally speaking…or the star in some cosmic sitcom :slight_smile: then again, we might all be stars in a cosmic sitcom :)</p>

<p>I am exhausted, have electricians coming this a.m., have to work today so my assistant can get her hours in, have a girls night tonight that I committed to but that sounds now like they want to start early with some snowshoeing, and then have the three sisters arriving tomorrow for birthday shenanigans and what is usually a late night out on the town. I’m revising my New Years this year to involve the couch, I think, because I literally haven’t had any down time!</p>

<p>Hope y’all get some r&r in the rest of the vacation --Shaw, we expect a full report on your muckity-muck weekend, as the saying goes :)</p>

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<p>I normally call my parents on this day as it was 12 years ago today that we lost my brother. But my folks will be at the hospital for testing all day. H told the kids yesterday when I was at work. </p>

<p>At least today I have some nice plans to take my mind off of things. For the last 3 or 4 years, S and I along with a friend of has and his friend’s mom ( who is a friend of mine) go downtown to one or more of the museums/galleries and then to dinner at a place the boys (they are foodies) choose. It’s a fun outing.</p>

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<p>Dressed up and went in to the Cities for drinks and dinner with D1 and D2 and her fiance. Rocky start as D1 was a bit moody. We have tried to be upbeat and and get her out doing fun things but she is still pretty down. H told her to buck up when the rest of us were touring the old Victorian restaurant and made her tear up as she told him this holiday celebration was very difficult for her. I know time will help but she doesn’t see the end of tunnel yet. </p>

<p>Sending good karma, fairy dust and prayers to all who need them! An extra sprinkling for CBB S and FallGirl!</p>

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<p>Hugs to your D1, NM.</p>

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<p>And to NMD1, of course! It has got to be so rough for her seeing her sister with her fianc</p>

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<p>D made it home at 1:15 am on December 26th after her flight was delayed – so glad I encouraged her to take a taxi to (and thus from) the airport. I don’t have good vibes about anyone walking into an airport parking lot after midnight. Shudder. </p>

<p>I’m busy getting end-of-year paperwork for the business put to bed; my goal is to be ready to hand it off to the tax accountant on January 6th since January and February are crazy busy for us. </p>

<p>I’ve got one of those delayed Christmas season packages, but in my case it is just toner for the laser printer, and more in the nature of extra supply than needed-right-now. I feel sorry for our UPS guy; they’ve been working like demons. I got one package last Monday after 8pm, and I’m sure his day started probably 12 hours before that.</p>

<p>Kmc – I can absolutely see my kid being surprised about the key fob. One of my sisters was complaining about her car pulling to the right until another (mechanically-minded) sister pointed out that having one of the tires on the vehicle be a different size than the other three was likely to be a significant contributing factor.</p>

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<p>Well, about 10 minutes after I got into the office, the client who had agreed to close the deal early called to say never mind, it will be the week of the 6th. I’m so relieved that I’m not even irritated. I will do paperwork here for about another hour, then head home again.</p>

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<p>Hi Everyone… so much going on…</p>

<p>Hugs to fallgirl and CBB son, and NMinn D1. My heart breaks reading about their difficult times.
Shaw - I hope shawson is not really thinking of giving up on the business.
moda - I really thought you were going to stick to your guns!
MP - I am so glad to hear you let the rest of the crew clean up! Wonderful!!</p>

<p>We had Christmas presents and dinner at the rehab center. We made some delicious quiches, SIL did the salad, we both brought our homemade cookies and we also both snuck in magnums of chardonnay to keep things mellow. :slight_smile:
MIL is a trip though - from the wheel chair, in a neck brace and leg brace, she was still angry at me for asking the housekeeping staff just what they would like us to do with the linens and dishes. MIL said she was in charge and it was up to her to ask. Good lord, what a control freak.</p>

<p>Otherwise, a pretty quiet vacation. D is grudgingly working. S starts on Monday. He got the call from HR this afternoon that his security clearance is A-OK! Whew!</p>

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<p>Sending good wishes to all of you. My sister and I saw Philomena this afternoon. It’s a lovely film and I highly recommend it.</p>

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<p>I am not sure I “enjoyed” it, but I typically do quite a bit in terms of shopping and traditions. And you want to know what else? SHopping on christmas Eve was not crazy… empty really. As to why I went , I had no real idea that H had gone shopping at all and he said twice to me, “well, they got you something.” Younger D did come in later on Christmas night to say how much she appreciated my rally (I got her a clarisonic face/body thing). In the grand scheme of what is typical, I really did stick to my guns without being a martyr in the process. And yes, I made tenderloin for Christmas dinner, but skipped the big Christmas eve meal. I think we should go out that night in the future. </p>

<p>Computer keyboard had been working all day, but just now is acting finicky again. I have a “t” on copy so I can command V to drop it in if it sticks. H gave me a new laptop for Christmas. I took it back but got a gift card and considering a 27 inch desktop. I think it would be easier/faster to work on film editing, photo stuff and multitask on desktop (not to mention the large screen size which is my complaint of my macbook pro. If need be, I can get this keyboard replaced for about 175 bucks. So my computer geeky friends, (only if you’re equally fond of macs since I’ll never switch back to PC)… opinions, insights? </p>

<p>NMN - I am so, so sad for your D. However, I think once the holidays pass, it will be easier for her to rally. She only moved home less than a month ago? Mostly, though I think she’s having to let go of a lot of dreams in a very short amt of time. It would be really hard for anyone this time of year. Plus, she hadn’t lived in her house a very long time, and I simagine she all kinds of hopes and dreams of creating holiday memories that now she never will. Plus, I think she was pretty blindsided by all of it. A lot to process for anyone, but especially at a young age when you haven’t been knocked down as much in general. </p>

<p>Sure, we look at her and think… she’s young, no kids to make things really complicated, and she’s got her whole life ahead of her. Dodged a bullet, really. You know? But it probably looks like anything but that to her. Add the younger D’s wedding planning plus any Facebook updates of other friends’ plans ( My cousin got engaged over the holiday - she’s just 30. And honestly I expect it anytime for my niece as well.) It’s the age group. And too! Until today… you gotta admit… the weather has been pretty depressing as well!</p>

<p>I don’t know her obviously. And it’s not like I think telling her to buck up is wrong, because clearly you don’t want her to think this is a permanent state or that you don’t have faith in her inner strength etc., I just hope your H isn’t really expecting she’s actually capable of truly bucking up (without totally faking it) right now. I put my D in your D’s position and I think we would have a hard time getting her to leave the house at all less than a month latter! Devastated…(vs crappy relationship slowly gone bad over 5-10 years). Maybe we’re just more prone to self-pity? But I really applaud your D for doing as much as she’s done!! I’d be locked in my room I think watching lifetime movies and eating carbs of various horror.</p>

<p>Fallgirl - the Mom/Son day sounds like a great deal of fun and a good way to take your mind off of things you can’t do anything about. I suggest building up your happy reserves, because I definitely feel depleted making it harder to be cheery with my own mom (who ended up going to her H’s son’s town, but they stayed in a hotel). </p>

<p>Speaking of delays… sister sent kids an envelope with gift cards on Dec 16 2 day priority mail. It arrived today. I started tracking it on the 23rd. What a nightmare, but no apology, refund to her for shipping, nothing. How the post office gets away with absolutely no customer service - retailers were refunding shipping left and right apparently. Anyway… nearly 10 days late and they shrug and say oh well. grrrr. In our case, it wasn’t about actually having the package, it was about the time and energy to figure out why it wasn’t tracking out of AZ and where it was at all wasting my time.</p>

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<p>Thanks to all for the support for S. NM - my H’s reaction is somewhat like your’s; the “buck up” philosophy. Deep down I know H is also worried about S, and would like to “fix” things, but can’t seem to just come out and say so. Also, H tends to express his concerns by getting angry at me - which I really don’t need.</p>

<p>I’ve come to realize S is like me in so many ways - perhaps that’s part of what makes it so difficult for me to see him like this. Although I enjoy social connections and interactions, I’ve never been a real outgoing type - so it can take a while for me to find “my niche.” S is like that, too. I’m really, really hoping once he settles in to his job on base and gets in more of a routine, he’ll start feeling more connected. I’ve dropped a few suggestions of things he might consider, like finding a local skating rink that may have adult hockey, or even local kids’ hockey teams that might need help with coaching. There are 4 other new 2nd Lts that started with him at the base, but S says they’re not necessarily guys he wants to socialize with. I guess one has a serious attitude problem … This prompted my sharing with him an important lesson I learned from my long-ago CIT training at GS camp – that you don’t have to like someone to be able to work with him/her. At any rate, S has found/moved into his own apartment, and says he feels good about setting things up and organizing his “stuff.” All of that is fine, but he needs some buddies/activities. The thought of him sitting in his apartment alone drinking beer gives me the heebie-jeebies!</p>

<p>We’re headed back to RI today - have I mentioned how schizo this makes me? We have friends coming/staying over for New Year’s festivities, so that will be fun. On Jan. 2nd I plan to be one of those New Year’s Resolution gym joiners. I find going to the gym in the morning helps give structure to my day - an of course it’s good for my mental and physical health!</p>

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I work on a 27" all-in-one Mac all day and can confirm the power of multitasking and wouldn’t be able to stand working on anything else :slight_smile: However, in considering your split time between the nook and home, I might in your shoes consider instead a Mac mini with lots of power and two 27" screens to jack into (1 at each place.) The mini can be juiced up to be just as powerful, but is highly portable. I configured one last year for mcson as a grad gift because the pro had just lagged behind (i think id gotten the server version.) That said, the new pro tower is now out and they’ve finally tuned her up to stay in the lead.</p>

<p>For portability, I just use my iPad the way some people use laptops, (eg i use the quick office pro app for working on docs) but I don’t care to edit video etc. on it even though I have an app. </p>

<p>If your existing MacBook Pro just needs a new keyboard, I’d fix it and keep it around for word processing and Internet…and of course, the benefit of the big monitors is that you can also jack your MacBook into them too when you want the big screen and are willing to be stationary :slight_smile: Mcson does this to use his beefy MacBook Pro when editing music where he needs multiple screens to see all the tracks he’s working on. That’s what he did before the mini, and still often does, though for video now he’s set up some old pro towers as render farms and uses the mini for the actual editing.</p>

<p>I was teetering on the brink of buying a second 27" iMac fir the downtown studio, but since it will be idle much of the time, the guys are suggesting I instead buy the 27" monitor and either the mini or a MacBook Pro for the portability, which i can then take into the boardroom and connect to a pocket projector for meetings. My software liscences follow me by device, so this way any of the employees could use the second work station downtown without running afoul of the licensing (eg if I am at the home office on my all-in-one, and another employee is downtown and wants to open photoshop, there’s no conflict because he’ll be on his licence.)</p>

<p>Since I ought to make the acquisition before year end if I have an ounce of sense tax-wise, I’ll have to work this out by Monday :slight_smile: Let me know if you have any questions!</p>

<p>The sisters descend upon me today so I have to get in gear. I probably should have thought about that while I was knocking back that Pinot Grigio with girlfriends last night :slight_smile: hi ho.</p>

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<p>CBB, we cross-posted. I will send your son the friend mojo :wink: Hope you have a lovely NY visit! I’ll be right there with you getting back on the fitness wagon…</p>

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<p>moda you have a good point about building up the happy reserves. Thanks.</p>

<p>We had fun yesterday, ended up touring a mansion/museum in DC, I had been there a few times before but always find/learn something new. Then on to one of the Smithsonians where my friend and I enjoyed a temporary exhibit on dance. I’m a former dance mom and she is the daughter of a former professional ballerina (ABT), so we had a lot of interest in that (the boys bowed out on that one). Restaurant choice was good as always, turned out it’s one of the tops in DC but I ma sure the boys knew that when they made the plans.</p>

<p>I will be jumping back on the fitness wagon too.</p>

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<p>Just catching up. Haven’t been on since I signed out of work on the 21st. Things haven’t gone quite as expected but we have had an enjoyable week so far. MIL was supposed to come last Sun for a couple of days and leave onthe 24th for go to one of H’s brothers. Unfortunately she had a cold and decided she couldn’t come so we will still need to see her at some point. Ugh - was hopeful that I could get that just done with. MIL and I do NOT get along and really I can’t stand her – H can’t either so we are in the same boat. Oh well we will travel to see her in the next couple of weeks and it will be a much shorter trip. :)</p>

<p>This was the first year since H and I have been married that we have woken up on Christmas morning to just us in the house. Was very different. When we were first married we went to my family and the year that I was pregnant (due Dec. 28th) my mother came out since too close to travel. Of course S didn’t arrive until Jan. 13th. :slight_smile: Seemed much more low key until D and her BF arrived at 1:30ish and then it was a mad dash to get the presents done and get dinner on the table, clean up and then all in the car to go over to see S and DIL. S made a decision that they were not going ANY PLACE for Christmas but all were welcome at his apartment. It’s only like 2 miles from our house so no big deal. Just a bit of rushing to get there before it got too late as S and D had to work on the 26th.</p>

<p>Hope all are enjoying the holidays.</p>

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<p>I am joining the group with unhappy kids. D and BF are on the brink of a break up. He has been uncertain and at times negative about having children. He also is negative about her eventual residency and moving, first to be with her the next two years, then moving with her for four or more, and then maybe making a mutual decision to relocate closer to family.
It feels as if he is not fighting for her. If that is the case I hope she walks.
I get confused though because he is an ambitious young man and has every right to think of his own future.
I will be sad to lose him and his sisters and his dad as part of the family. So very relieved to lose the FMIL. (near argument at Christmas Eve dinner, seems it is always something).
ADVICE NEEDED! WE have hosted both families and a few others the last two NYE’s. This year we are having 11. I normally would be totally on top of the game. The last two have been quite over the top with food, drink, games and more food. This year I have only purchased a new tablecloth. We just had his family over for a luncheon when S was here and had Christmas Eve with them. I rather thought FMIL would offer to do it this year but has not. Now D can’t decided if she wants it or not and is waiting to see where the two of them stand. My own heart is just not into it at all. I am tired but also know that it might be good for me as I love to party with the young people. (H and I are going to Palm Springs in two weeks on a whim!).
I am leaning towards cancelling in my own name and if she and BF stay together they can just go out with the other young people which only leaves the 4 parents without plans and that is not really a big deal, H will be disappointed but he went and offered to work that morning thus not being here to help so that is his karmauppance.
So I could just email and call and say I am just not able to handle it. All will be kind.
The problem is if BF’s family offers their house when the real issue is that D does not want to go. And he has not told his family what is going on.
Thoughts? Most likely it will be “on with the show” but I like to have my contingency plans in place just in case. I have decided on a simple menu with much from my foodie stores. Still, do not want to go shopping until I know what is happening.</p>

<p>Went to dinner at old friends and had a blast. They have had problems and are waiting for 2014 with the hope to leave 2013 behind like many of us.</p>

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<p>Oregon – I’m sorry about D & BF, but you know how very important it is to decide if you have alignment on values like having children – better that they figure that out now, and rip the band-aid off than try to paper over major disagreements, imo. Still, it sucks. </p>

<p>Palm Springs sounds like something fun to anticipate. Good for you. I’d probably do the New Year’s Eve party, but just get prepared food and can the games. </p>

<p>RM – I understand the MIL feeling. My MIL was great in the ways that really counted, but was not at all an easy person to visit. Drove me nuts. </p>

<p>Kmcmom – which pocket projector do you like for the Mac? I’m in the market for a new one. </p>

<p>CBB – Would sending a big box of homemade cookies to him at his work location be a positive? Not much gets people to wiggle in and chat like cookies, imo – but I’m not on a base and don’t understand military culture at all.</p>

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<p>arabrab, thanks, I was just now pricing out the menu from my 2 favorite stores. Not cheap but I can wait until Monday morning to decide. All I am planning to make is Contessa’s salted carmel brownies. I have also decided to make it a buffet with heavy appetizers. No one ever starves here and now when I am asked if another one or two can come it will be fine.
I am fairly psychic and have this idea that BF is going to propose NYE to prove himself and has no idea the angst he is creating here. Personally, I wish D would just walk away. Keeping my mouth shut. Hoping I am wrong about intuition.
The plan to cancel is that I will text everyone and just simply say so sorry but must cancel. I will then have H talk with BF’s father and tell him that we cannot get together and more on why later. Yikes, this is going to be sticky. I just want clarification so can imagine how D feels.</p>

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<p>NM I think of your D1 often and think it is really too soon for her to not be sad. The holidays are tough. I do think she will find someone who deserves her but to see your child hurting the worst.
D2 is the one who has difficulty finding her niche she is sweet pretty and so incredibly smart and funny but quiet, You have to know her, sometimes she feels underappreciated. As we know its the extroverts who outnumber the introverts. Working through this gives us courage but it so hard to watch.
Today is my birthday, I worked yesterday, felt lousy and that continues. MIL is here. SIL announced she was going away for the weekend. D2 birthday is tomorrow.
You are all so awesome hoping and praying for a wonderful 2014.</p>