D24 got her midterm grades (all As and 2 A+) and already met with her advisor to plan her Spring semester schedule. She also finally realized what I’ve been telling her forever in that the single difference between getting a BA and a BS is a single calculus class, which she has now decided to CLEP over the summer. (She works at the museum of natural science with the summer camps, but doesn’t work every week, so she has time).
She also filled out an application for an apartment for next fall. He plans were fluid and kept changing and then she had a plan for a 4 BR apartment with friends at a complex that literally made the local news in August for students showing up to apartments filled with trash and squatters to which my reaction was absolutely not.
So right now she applied for a bougie apartment one block off campus and one block from the grocery store so she doesn’t need a car, with the bonus of it being in a safe part of town. Tuscaloosa can be rough if you get too far from campus.
S24 is home for fall break and we are finally realizing how much he loves his school! It is crazy though that it is time to already plan the spring. He has yet to meet with his freshman advisor so I am suggesting that he talk to one of his professors to help make choices.
Another who had their D24 home for the long weekend - I did the down and back to retriever her (and spent so much time in traffic on the way back on 495 that when I spotted the northern lights above my windshield I pondered that I might be hallucinating, LOL, nope actual northern lights.) D24 had a good visit home, babysit for some adoring clients, got in an orthodontist visit, slept in, picked out some pumpkins, and had a full day with her bestie which involved some time at the coast and wrapped up with a visit with other friends at the nearby university. This morning she’s returning via bus/train for the first time and I won’t miss the traffic! We figure for weekend visits like this making at least one way bus/train makes a visit much more palatable, logistics wise! Next visit will be Thanksgiving, when I bring the bestie with me to see the campus and have a road trip buddy, we are all excited about that!
Just put D24 back on the bus to school. It was a really good visit. Overall, I would say she is reasonably happy at school. She has 2 or 3 girls she is growing close to, is managing her classes fine, and doesn’t seem terribly homesick. She definitely does not love it (yet?), but is talking about potential living quarters for next year, so I take that as a good sign that she is happy enough with her choice.
Academically, she is really happy that she chose to stay in Calc 1 and Chem 1. While she said the material is mostly review from her AP courses, she said if she was learning it anew, it would be a struggle, as the class is huge and the instructor not very effective. Still enjoying the lit class and thinking about choosing literature as her “immersion” (this is a specific requirement at her school, where students have to take 3 courses in a discipline not related in any way to their major).
Socially, things are…ok. She has the couple of friends and people to do things with, so she isn’t just sitting in her room. That said, she feels the social scene is a bit lacking. She had been going to frat parties, but the open ones have been banned (?) for the rest of the semester. She and two of her friends have decided they are road tripping to Syracuse for Halloweekend (her friend’s boyfriend is there), since “we figure it will be more happening than here.” She is strongly considering rushing next semester. One of her friends is pledging this semester, and is encouraging her to do so. Although I am not generally a fan of Greek life, I would be happy for her to have another outlet to find more of her people. Her impression of it at her school is that it is pretty low-key.
While she was home, she got caught up with a number of her friends from home, who were also home for break. I think hearing the different experiences they are having was helpful for evaluating her own experience. One friend is at Rutgers, and doesn’t love it (having to bus everywhere is a bummer and she feels overwhelmed by the size of the school and many campuses). One friend is at 'Bama, and does like it, though she was apparently roofied last week (thankfully, not assaulted) The two friends in FL (UTampa and USF) have been evacuated twice and had a very disrupted semester. The friend at UDel lost her roommate in a tragic accident the first day of classes . The friend at Univ of Chicago is having roommate issues and overall finding it difficult to connect with others. The friend at CoC only lasted two weeks and is back home, planning to matriculate at Rutgers next semester. The only friend who is completely happy and living her best life is at Ohio University. Anyway, all of that to say that I think D24 is pretty good at understanding that nothing is perfect and although there are things she wishes were better at her school, she doesn’t necessarily think the grass is greener anywhere else. I think she’s in a pretty good head space for two months in.
Yeah, I know from observation a lot of kids have at least a somewhat rocky transition to college, and obviously for some it is bad enough to trigger a transfer. Those stories are probably less likely to be put online for the usual reasons, so I think it is great she is aware of them anyway (not great that they happened, of course, but they do, and it is good to know that).
D24 called briefly yesterday evening. There was a dorm meeting. And because girls in the female-only dorm are not doing a good enough job of throwing out their hair & eyelashes in the showers, + are leaving blood stains on toilet seats, everybody in the dorm is being fined $100/month starting this month and it will continue each month until everybody gets their act together. D24 & Roommate are super mad about this.
D24 also complained that word on the street in the dorm is that somebody is stealing laundry out of the laundry room. So D24 is annoyed that now she’ll have to sit in the laundry room the entire time. Welcome to college life, kiddo. Happened to me, too. 1 of DH’s friends had ALL of his clothes stolen out of the laundry room at the guy’s apartment building one time.
Meanwhile, back here at home, DH is enjoying scooter life and the 2 of us have moved past the phase of Intensely Grumpy Wife when he went out and bought a scooter last week and didn’t tell Grumpy Wife beforehand. DH spent a few days in the dog house. However, plus side to all of this is that DH is finding scooter riding to be really relaxing and it gets his mind off of stressful work stuff, so that’s a positive thing.
My plans for D26 & I to do a visit to D24 over Easter weekend and to double it up with a visit for D26 & I to Univ of Tulsa on Good Friday are down the drain because they’re not doing campus tours that day due to an event that day for senior high school students instead. So we’ll shift gears and I’ll pull D26 out of school on a Thurs & Fri at the beginning of April instead and we’ll spend the rest of the weekend visiting D24.
D24 & Roommate are planning on being roommates again next year.
D24 shared w/me in yesterday’s phone call that she has an 82% in her First Year Seminar class. Kind of wish it was higher, but I’m going to chock this up to fall semester of freshman year is a transition period and over Thanksgiving break, we’ll be reminding her of the agreement we have with her about GPA, remember how GPA is important for your grad school plans, etc. This will probably be met with much eye rolling and WHATEVER!'s.
I think the ‘realizing nothing is perfect’ is big, and this is the season for it. My D24 was certain her roommate ‘hated her’ because she barely talked to her, and went to bed by 8pm every night, and my broader view is that “oooh that kid is not having a good transition…” and as the semester has progressed my kid is realizing “it’s not me, it’s her” and has adjusted her expectations. To that end, the roommate will be moving to commuter status after the semester (she goes home daily now) so D24 is hoping for a midyear single, and we figured out that would be the best case scenario and the worst is a new roommate you don’t click with, which she’s already experienced, only now she’d be ‘alpha roommate.’ (which is a riot, as she is the quietest kid ever…). Or maybe second roommate becomes the lifelong bestie! Who knows? (and the current one is fine just not lifelong friend material, but friendly enough to pick her up from the train station, for instance.) When talking to her friend this weekend, the friend was envious of D24s schedule and classes, another example of greener grass…
It’s so great to see all these updates! Thank you! My two are far enough away that they decided not to fly home for Fall Break but instead stay and hang out with friends and get ahead on work. I can’t wait to see them at Thanksgiving that’s for sure. I was a tad worried that one kid was going to star in his own personal version of The Berenstain Bears and Too Much College Fun, but then mid-semester grades are in and he’s doing great (at a school with decidedly no grade inflation–the opposite and honestly for a few weeks there I wanted some!) and really loving the experience. The other is living his best life in art school–in the studio til all hours and that’s how it should be. Both are complaining about missing home cooking. I can’t wait to visit but think we will do it not during parents’ weekends.
D24 was also just home for Fall Break. I was supposed to meet her in Tampa but Milton derailed those plans. Flying nearly cross country for 4 days was a lot but worth it. She loved being home, having home cooked meals, shopping, playing with the dog and seeing friends going to school locally. Think she needed some recharging as college has been a big adjustment. She’s doing well but the first few weeks were rough especially socially. She was happy to go back but was very happy for the break. Next up she is starting to gear up for sorority rush which is quite a process. I did it but so many years ago that I had forgotten some of the details. Never a dull moment this first year!
Every time I read “scooter” I substitute “tractor” and then reflect about how much I enjoy riding my tractor. If your husband gets half the enjoyment from his scooter that I have from my tractor, you have one happy husband.
I’ll just briefly note that the bill for the new clutch in my midlife crisis could probably be denominated in multiple Scooter-Units. And those were in fact not the first SUs we dumped into it, and surely nor will they be the last.
I think that your daughter has the right attitude. A lot of kids (my own S24 included) seem to think that everyone else is having a fantastic college experience while for him it has been so, so.
Roommate has invited her to spend the night at her parents’ house the Fri night before D24 has to go to airport to fly home for Thanksgiving. The dorms close that day (Fri) at 5 pm. Roommate will be driving D24 to airport. Annoying Mom (aka me) reminded The Child to Zelle her roommate some gas money. In response, I got, “I know, I know. Stop nagging me.”
I was thrilled to hear that last night, my daughter went with two of her most compatible new friends “to kick a soccer ball.” This was my fondest dream for my only child—that she would learn what it means to hang out and (literally) kick it with college friends. High school activities were so overly structured. I love to see her doing things that have nothing to do with achievement (she never played soccer).
For my husband’s midlife crisis he has decided he must have a riding lawn mower. We got rid of our last mower when the twins were born so that we could have more family time but, now that we are empty nesters, he wants to take over lawn care Hopefully it will make him happy!
D24 stayed in New England for fall break, renting an Airbnb with a friend and they had a great time! It was a much needed break. Academically she is crushing it and really loves her professors. Her religion professor just invited her to attend a dinner and reception with a guest speaker who is coming next week and she’s really excited!
S24 comes home for fall break today and has a ride with a local friend. Unfortunately, last night he tripped over a curb when getting out of an Uber and ended up in the ER getting stitches and he also has a broken nose, broken cheekbone, and chipped tooth. Poor kid. Fall break now will be dentist and doctor appointments. I’m currently making him chicken noodle soup from scratch so he will have something soft and comforting, though a far cry from the steak dinner he was craving.
The two friends in FL (UTampa and USF) have been evacuated twice and had a very disrupted semester. The friend at UDel lost her roommate in a tragic accident the first day of classes 
. The friend at Univ of Chicago is having roommate issues and overall finding it difficult to connect with others. The friend at CoC only lasted two weeks and is back home, planning to matriculate at Rutgers next semester. The only friend who is completely happy and living her best life is at Ohio University. Anyway, all of that to say that I think D24 is pretty good at understanding that nothing is perfect and although there are things she wishes were better at her school, she doesn’t necessarily think the grass is greener anywhere else. I think she’s in a pretty good head space for two months in.
Hopefully it will make him happy!