Congrats! It sounds miserable, but he pushed through and got everything in! Hope you can have a little less stress now.
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In thinking about the multiple cords and stoles and such, Iāve had pretty similar opinions as most on the thread. In my family, graduating from high school is pretty much an expected rite of passage, so itās celebrated, but itās not a massively big deal. So having tons of cords/stoles might seem excessive or gauche or something indicative of SES judgmentalism. But for families where graduating from high school is not an of course itās gonna happen type of thing, I understand the compulsion to celebrate every possible thing about the graduate.
My husband was the first person to graduate from high school in his family (from both sides, I believe). And he was the only person to have graduated from high school until his nephew graduated in 2020. Because it was a Covid graduation and all done in a not-so-normal way, I canāt say anything one way or the other about cords and how everybody looked (because everything was separated out). But I would 100% understand any excitement about being able to show any and all signs of distinction when itās a kid for whom graduating from high school really is an accomplishment.
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I have 3 college degrees myself and I might have had a cord for my bachelors but I donāt really remember (and I graduated with honors in all). I totally get that cords and stoles are fun for the kid and make for great photo ops. Kids love being acknowledged and I donāt think its totally a bad thing. We all celebrate in our own ways. Some think bed parties are over the top, others think cords are bragging, etc etc. I guess Iām saying years down the road the cords donāt matter so if your kid doesnāt get any they arenāt ruined for life.
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I just got an email from S25ās college for a book club for parents of new students, and since Iām a total book nerd, I thought it might be worth sharing the selection here: Youāre On Your Own (But Iām Here if You Need Me) by Marjorie Savage (You're On Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years by Marjorie Savage | Goodreads). I havenāt read it, so those of you who have older kids might know whether or not it is worth a read.
But it is now on order and will be at the top of the stack on my bedside table soon!
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Love the parent book club idea! Thanks for the book recommendation!
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I love this idea!
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As someone who is unhappy with the explosion of stoles and cords, I have actually thought at length about this, and Iām still unhappy with the proliferation of them anywayābecause once everyoneās expected to have some sort of decoration, having some sort of decoration no longer has any meaning.
Itās an arms race, and it needs to stop.
(See also, the way some school districts have been quietly widening the number of course types they offer weighting for, because that allows them to brag about the weighted GPAs of their students when building a reputation of themselves as a place where there are āgood schoolsā. Same thing, and I also loathe that.)
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It also makes it seem like ājust graduatingā look badly IMO. There is nothing bad about graduating w/o being in an honor societies!
All I can think of is Office Space and Jennifer Anistonās pieces of flare when I see some of these kids with 10 cords. IYKYK
But to each their own- I am not losing sleep over it:) 
Funny enough, at 25s school, a number of kids eligible donāt bother with NHS as it is a PIA and the teacher who runs it isnāt beloved, to be diplomatic. So a lot of very high achieving kids donāt even have the 1 stole available..
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I think it was I who started the cord conversation. We arenāt the sort who care about them a great deal, but I think if youāve earned something, you should receive it. Graduation was today, and he got his missing cord but not the medal. He borrowed a friendās for pictures. Even worse, they somehow didnāt have his diploma!
I got an email shortly after the ceremony from his counselor that there had been a mixup with another studentās. One of S25ās teachers told him that a batch had been left at the school. Who knows. It seems like a pretty egregious error. Sigh.
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I 100% agree with this even if I think people give out too much - it is super unfair to give to some, and not others.
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So when I feel out of control about things I buy stuff on the internet. Itās like the only way I can try to be prepared, when things are out of my area of control, is just to buy All The Things so that I can adapt if needed. (This is not a particularly healthy habit.) This is how S22 ended up with not one or two but FOUR fans to take to college. I donāt know why my brain decided that we needed to buy four fans, but somehow my mind thought āif I could just devise the perfect cooling system for him, then he will be able to enjoy his room and start the year off well and everything will be good.ā I SEE the problems with that and know thatās not how it works. But this is a life long pattern for me and something that I just try to mitigate by buying things that can be returned if I get too many or the wrong thing.
So right now I know Iām exhausted and more than a little bit stressed out. S25 has prom coming (and heās done no planning). Heās started his internship/summer job (and we donāt know any actual details - like will he be shadowing or laboring, what hours, where) and while heās on that summer job heāll have my car and Iāll be taking the bus/metro to work, which I donāt love.
So how have I dealt with this?
In the last week Iāve ordered:
- Four pairs of work boots (three will go back)
- Five long sleeve white dress shirts (he needs one for under his suit for prom, I expect to send back four)
- Two short sleeve button down shirts (he asked for some, no idea why. No idea if weāll keep either.)
- Three pairs of āgolf shortsā (he only has athletic shorts, and asked for some nicer ones, I guess for college? No idea if weāll be keeping any of these.)
- Four pairs of mens ācanvas work pantsā (Iām hoping at least two make the cut. Because of track, he has very very large quads and a relatively small waist. Itās hard to find pants that fit him.)
- Four pairs of jeans (he only has two pair - and neither is really work site appropriate as one is black and he considers them his ādress jeansā and the other is a very faded almost white and will get trashed. Iām hoping at least two of the new pairs make the cut.)
- A pair of capri pants for me (I tore a pair so badly when we were in Greece that I just left them in the trash, and now donāt have enough bottoms for summer)
- Two pairs of shoes for me (commuting sneakers that are nice enough looking that i can probably wear them in the office too, and some new birks because my old lady feet canāt wear cute flip flops anymore but these seem to have enough arch support and hopefully will be my summer weekend shoes)
I seriously might as well light the credit card on fire.
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The only thing Iām annoyed with is my oldest will graduate magna cum laude from college. Some of the colleges at the university designate that with a red tassel over a black one. My sonās college? NOTHING.
Iām sorry but if you get one of the latin honors in college there SHOULD be a designation. At UMD you need all As and 3 A- to even qualify for it, thatās not easy and itās the top 5% of kids in the college.
Some other kid will roll in there was 16 stoles from clubs and mine, who got the second highest academic distinction over all 138 credits gets zip. I think that is BS.
I think the stole / cord for every club is ridiculous
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I do this, but I also do this after a few cocktails on our date night, so sometimes things come and I have no idea when I ordered it, lol. Oopsie.
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I did this last night, with overnight delivery for prom later this week:) hopefully at least one fits and is acceptable.
I also stress shop too, for sure. I have already started buying dorm stuff, despite not having much place to store it and no real need to have it yet. but it is a nice distraction and feels like I am checkign something off a list!
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Iām glad Iām not alone with the shirt shopping! Youād think I wouldāve done this already - weāve known since JUNE that his dress shirt wouldnāt button (if you look closely at his senior portrait, you can see that the button at the neck is unbuttoned and weāve just pushed the knot of the tie up REALLY HIGH to try to hide thatā¦) but I just didnāt. He doesnāt wear dress shirts that often - I canāt remember what he did for homecoming, but clearly I hadnāt dealt with this then eitherā¦
I was thinking of starting dorm shopping and then my daughter-in-law let me know that weāre getting ābackā a lot of the things we bought for DS16 for college, before DS/DIL do their summer move to a new place. This was DIL judo because I much prefer to offload things than to receive them 
ā¦ Actually, I try only to give things that are useful, flat, or both. After my own ILs would send enormous impractical things to us in our tiny place, such as (not kidding): pup tent, play tunnel, inflatable furniture, limbo setā¦
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Ok, anyone have tried and true advice for getting packaging creases out of the lovely polyester graduation regalia? Gown has printed on it āDo not wash or dry clean.ā I am a little afraid I would scorch the material someplace obvious, because thatās my relationship with irons. We are not on good terms.
My daughter hung her gown on a hanger and brought it into the bathroom while showering. The steam got out most of the wrinkles.
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Oh us too, for sure. Kid had nothing close to a formal shirt which is obviously known! and while I wasnāt sure prom was in cards for them 6 months ago, people tend to wear dress shirts under their gowns so would have needed it anyway:) not sure why I am doing that so last minute when I already have the TwinXL dorm sheets;)
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Sometimes I think weāre the same person. This is exactly how I roll! And when I find something I like I think I need to buy enough duplicates to survive a zombie apocalypse. Case in point: S25 wanted some new plain white t shirts. But they needed to be wide cut. But shorter length. And cotton. And thicker material. And when I finally found the holy grail t shirt at H&M, I bought six more.
And donāt get me started on my insane last minute orders Iām placing for our Japan trip. Weāre doing carry on only for two weeks, and Iām convinced that I order just a few more things that I will have the perfect combination to perfect my packing.
On a separate note, S25 completed his housing request for Rose yesterday. He was telling me about all of his preferences that he listed, and I could see his excitement (and nervousness!) building. Fun times ahead!
Hope everyone has a great week!
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