Does this “laundry backpack” give verbal instructions? It sounds like that could help things. 
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We are at t-10 days. Maybe 11? Depends on how you count. Realistically, I need him to get all his stuff packed this week. We are all working this week. Friday night my mom is having an early birthday and goodbye dinner for S25 (birthday is early September, so we’ll miss it). Saturday he has planned three activities that will take all day, culminating in a sleepover with his friends from camp (sleep away camp that he went to for 7 years with these same guys in his cabin - five of them live within a 90 minute driving time radius, so they are trying to get together one last time before college). Sunday we leave for our annual family beach vacation - truncated to just 3.5 days. Wednesday we drive home, making a slight detour on the way to pick up the minivan we rented on Turo (please don’t let that be a disaster) to take S25 to college. Wednesday night we pack the van. Thursday morning we drive to SC. Friday we drop him at college and help him move in. Saturday we drive home. Sunday we do laundry and help S22 prep. Monday S22 heads off to college. The only question now is does one of us drive up with S22 and fly home (he’s keeping the car this year) or does he go alone.
So anyone, point being I want S25 to get his stuff packed up by Thursday night. We’ll have a short turn around after getting home from the beach to do some quick laundry that night and pack up any of the stuff he took to the beach that he wants, but otherwise, we need to be basically ready to go.
Did he do any of that this weekend? No he did not. Did he even put away the clean clothes that are overflowing out of a laundry basket all over the floor in his room? Nope. Didn’t do that either. I didn’t want to harass him about it because his brother JUST got home Friday night and they clearly missed each other and were enjoying being together and watching movies or gaming. And his time at home is almost done. But it was hard to bite my tongue. Boy has to pack this week. Or he gets whatever I pack for him… which he may not love.
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We got back from vacation and now things definitely seem real! We haven’t really started shopping yet - C25 is headed to Spain this fall and, aside from voltage adapters, a small lockbox and a luggage scale we haven’t gotten much. We did purchase the all important laptop and accidental damage service plan back at graduation. (Usually I never buy the service plan, but the laptop C25 had from high school is currently on what must be its 5th Frankenstein rebuild after many drops, cracks, and drink spills, so well worth it.) The program says not to bring typical school supplies other than the laptop, as most are cheaper and easier to buy in-country. So, we wait. And try not to get caught up spending money on things we don’t need just to ease “our” (my) need to prepare. We will spend enough once they get in-country, I’m sure! I feel very similar to when I was in my 38th week of pregnancy with my first. Excitement, a desperate need to prepare but no idea how, knowing life is about to change dramatically, and being kind of freaked out by it all. 
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S23 had a great first freshman semester. Second semester completely and totally bombed. But, his will to be self sufficient and make money was greater than his want to be lazy. He did not want to be a “loser who lives with mommy and daddy and plays video games all day.” We let him go back to college the second year as a final test of this is it, you can dig yourself out of the hole or you choose Plan B and figure something else out. As much as I wasn’t a fan of the frat, the guys there do have a play hard work hard attitude. Most of his college friends are very successful with big post grad plans so that helped. S23 is very adhd. He has found that he needs to set his Alarmy app about an hour before he needs to wake up and take his med and then have a second alarm when he really needs to get up and by then the meds have kicked in and he has a much more productive day. He started with lists on his phone and then added handwritten lists which he finds he does much better with. He is now treating school more like a 9-5 job and spending all day out of his dorm in libraries and other study spaces. Im feeling much more positive about his third year.
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The last item for D25s dorm has been ordered and incoming (her roommate changed the colors of her side of the room so I will be exchanging the rug).
My biggest worry for D25 is that she ends up joining some weird religious controlling cult. She feels she is very emotionally mature but that is just because her friends here at home are all much younger than her and have parents who totally micromanage them. In reality, she is pretty naive. I applauded her though for knowing that an urban school was not the best fit for her but there are still risks no matter where you are. I work for a Jesuit college but am more agnostic. D25 has long associated with being a Christian. I had her talk to one of the ladies on campus from faith services who give her a list of opportunities in the area that have been found to be positive experiences for students so I hope D25 sticks to that list. She is going to 2 different optional orientations on campus so she moves in a week before school starts. One orientation is for students of color, first gen, or other marginalized students to teach them about academic supports and to help them build connections. The other orientation is for leadership. I really hope she meets some great people who will all help look out for each other. D25 is excited because she said everyone is her group at orientation was so nice. Fingers crossed it continues!
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We just had the conversation about which shorts can be packed and which ones are “needed” for the next few weeks…
My son has similar fashion taste. He loves a giant pair of jeans, and dresses completely differently from his friends.
End up going to the Dollar Tree yesterday and stocked up on everything for the med kit. I’m still contemplating condoms a Narcan, but I’m not quite there with my level of acceptance that this kid is going out into the scary real world soon.
I had a mini freakout last night that kid is not ready to manage himself in college. I asked S25 to log into Banner so that I could look around at some things, and I managed to go through all of his email, all the portals, and anything else I could find. I found an email from a week ago from the ADA Coordinator about his accommodations that said, “Please sign and return these as soon as possible.” And when I mentioned it, S25 said, “Oh yeah. I should do that.” 
He’s still refusing to contact his roommates. I keep wondering if they’re reached out, and he hasn’t responded. But he has assured me over and over that he has not heard from them. They are both from Indiana, but not from the same city. I really hope he connects okay with them or at least can get along well enough to cohabitate.
Today his K-8 school is having a reunion/send off for the class, so he’s getting to see all of his old friends that he went to school with for 9 years. Some of them he hasn’t seen since 8th grade graduation, and I’m excited to get an update and see pictures. So hard to believe how fast high school flew by. I can’t even imagine how fast college will fly by.
Hope everyone has a great week!
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Verbal instructions + a swift kick to the rump from time to time would probably be most effective. I wonder if he’s waiting for the organisms growing in his dirty socks to become sentient and self-organize and march themselves to the laundry?
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FWIW, I assigned my husband the condom purchasing for S22. Which he forgot to do. But during the move in day there was a “fair” of sorts with the health center, mental health, academic supports etc all with tables in a room. And Lo. They were passing out condoms. We all took a few so that S22 would have a decent handful to start off at least. In general, I believe that if you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to buy your own condoms. But at the same time, I also don’t want my kid to be in an unprepared situation and think “well, just this once, I’m sure it will be fine” and then end up a dad before he’s ready.
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One of S22’s roommates had an alarm clock that was a device that goes in his bed, to shake the bed. I think it’s actually designed for deaf people (which this young man wasn’t) but he needed the closest equivalent they could find to the swift kick in the rump to get him out of bed in the morning.
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More things for my mental to-do list:
–first aid kit with the scary unmentionables
–make sure his dad follows through on ordering the new laptop.
–get a safe for his meds (his shrink more or less made him promise that he’d lock them up and it seems prudent.)
–talk to him about a guitar case.
–remember to pack the alarm clock that lights up before it wakes you (which his aunt presciently gave him for Christmas a couple of years ago, and which to my knowledge has never been used.)
–take him shoe-shopping IRL because I don’t want to order him expensive boots and have them not actually fit and him not realize it until too late.
I miss the days when I could just order him the next size up of Keens (and when his favorite thing to do was go on adventures with his mommy. sob)
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T-minus 11 days here (I just checked!). S25 has been super busy between his part time job, hanging out with friends and his brothers, oh, and a 20 hr/wk for 5 weeks online research program he just completed. 
He has always been one to keep himself busy.
Other than buying himself a few new clothing items earlier this summer and XL twin sheets (so they could get washed ahead of time…my idea!), we’ve done no shopping since we are flying in and want to pick up anything we don’t already own when we get there. (Target pick up order, amazon locker, etc). So we have a shopping “date” next week to sit down together in front of the computer and he plans to let me help him figure out what he needs.
The next 11 days are going to fly by…we have an annual multi-day service project event we participate in (and I am a key part of planning this year 
) this weekend so I feel like my brain is more on that then S25’s college departure. I guess it will all sink in next week when he is packing and shopping!
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Oh the Keens shopping! I would order a size up them every time I saw them on sale! 
Will you share the safe you end up buying? I’ve been looking but haven’t found one I like yet.
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Agreed and agreed. Even if he doesn’t need them maybe a roommate will.
Also, I had a random flashback this afternoon of S25 coming into the bathroom one morning when I was getting ready for work when he was about 8 and loudly asking, “Am I making sperm RIGHT NOW?!?” Lord have mercy. The kid has definitely kept me on my toes over the years…
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I was thinking more like Dora’s backpack
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So I guess my D isn’t the only one who hasn’t reached out to her roommate, yet! I just don’t get it. But as she pointed out, her roommate hasn’t contacted her yet either, so maybe they will be a good match!
I just want to know who is getting the mini fridge!
T-23 here and +1 for the list of S25s who have not contacted their roommate yet. Top of his list of to-dos is select meal plan, get a parking permit, order books/materials from the campus bookstore. I am almost done buying all the dorm essentials and @goldbug my kid wouldn’t let me buy darker sheets, he insisted on white. WHITE! So I ordered ivory/cream and he will figure out quickly the mistake he made. OR he will do his laundry. Who knows…
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For laundry I’d recommend sending color catchers and telling them to just throw everything together in a cold water cycle. Simple is good.
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I sent S23 with condoms and plan b his freshman year. Now that he will be living at the frat, they have everything readily available including narcan.
D25 is nowhere near having consensual sex and would likely refuse plan b due to her religious beliefs so for her I am not sending right now.
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S25 is going to a small Christian school… I don’t think they will have those even though they should!
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