I think this happens a lot to East Coast kids who go to West Coast colleges - the East Coast schools seem to start earlier, and the Western schools sometimes much later. I had a friend with twins at Virginia Tech and Stanford, and I think they started more than a month apart. I know my other friends with kids going to school in California, Oregon and Washington have all commented on how surprisingly hard it was for their kids to still be at home when “everyone” else was already off and getting started - they are ready to go, they’ve spent the emotional energy saying good bye, but they don’t have the opportunity to start getting the fun and positive dopamine hits of new school stuff.
I have no great words of wisdom for how to get through it, just wanted to let you know that you, and she, are not alone.
Here on the east coast, many schools in the mid-Atlantic start earlier. S23 was the last to leave for school even with attending a special orientation for new students in his major. School did not start until after Labor Day.
S25 is the opposite. We dropped him off in Annapolis last week for first year early orientation at St. John’s College. He had a blast with cohort and is now joined this week by other first years and returning upperclass students. Classes start tomorrow. I’m thrilled to report that he is doing very well. He has enjoyed the orientation program activities and has been making friends. The next step will be seeing how he feel after classes start.
In the meantime, we are empty nesters, so appreciate all the posts from others on the same boat.
that would be crazy! My 25s roommate is not anywhere “red eye” distance - they are also from new england, so guessing not? Unless your kid came in not from home?
My kiddo says their roommate is nice, and seems very friendly but my kid is SOOO nervous and awkward is probably coming off standoffish, though seems to be hitting it off more with the other more geeky kids across the hall - I think is more that they don’t share a room (which freaks out my kid conceptually!). T
Hope your kiddo is settling in better than mine - though after an hour-long talk this afternoon think they are in a better place. They just REALLY can’t wait for normal class routine and clubs.
My 25 said “don’t text for a couple of days, ok?” so I’m holding off as long as I can before I check in. I suspect I’ll make it to tomorrow, but it’s so hard! I mean, I said goodbye on Sunday night. 25 flew from west coast to east (and yeah, definitely not roommates, which is good, cuz I still have a venting spot if needed…) and said goodbye to Dad on Mon afternoon. And, … I figure if something was missing from the Amazon shopping, I’d get a text, so no news is good news. Except I want actual news! sigh
I think this is a very serious issue. Whether it means the whole band or the whole school is wrong for DD is of course another longer discussion. But you have my support to make a major thing of the sexual harassment/assault. It’s freaking 2025.
Yes. What @fretfulmother said. There’s no overreacting here. This is a problem. It’s all well and good to say “our kids need to adult now” but this isn’t that situation. This is “my child is being sexually harassed, has spoken up, and action hasn’t been taken. What are you going to do school?” Send an email and follow up with a phone call. She’s done her part, now the school needs to do theirs. How they respond might tell you and her what her path should be for the future.
Thank you for the support and the confirmation. Phone calls will be made today. I need to to start there as I don’t have appropriate email addresses as of yet.
(And in a sign that I am MAYBE a little obsessive… the school also published higher res versions on Instagram and smugmug, and I’ve now found him in it.)
I missed what happened, but from the other comments, yes, anything with sexual assault or harassment is absolutely a reason to make calls, etc., in my book. I hope your daughter is okay. Thinking of you both.
I am so sorry to hear what a rough start it has been for your daughter. I can’t imagine how stressful and frustrating this must be for all of you. Thinking of you and your daughter, and I hope that you’re able to get a response and the support/action your daughter needs.
do you have links to share? I’d love to find my kid in that sea of orange… wait… that is a different paw than the one my kid might be in. Sorry. That explains why I can’t find it myself.
We successfully moved our 25 into his dorm. It was a whirlwind mainly because we had to dash to the airport, so we only had about 90 minutes. It all went very smoothly though. He needs some stuff to decorate the space, but on balance, the room is fine for a first year. Not too fancy (especially the hall bathrooms!), but a decent size and he will be OK there. His brother maintains that he was more nervous than he let on, but I think he was also excited and eager to get the experience underway.
My favorite moment of the many we had over the course of the weekend: me checking in for our flight home the night before we moved him in and reminding him to check in for his flight too, since he was on a separate itinerary… only to remember seconds after telling him to check in that he took a one-way flight and wasn’t coming home. We had a good laugh, although I cried a bit on the inside.
Those of you using the Ikea bags on flights, there were a number of them at the baggage claim of our home airport upon our return (state flagship kids arriving in town), and they seemed to have held up great. S25’s roommate also traveled with them and they were fine. We ended up bringing 2 of the checked suitcases home empty and leaving him with 2 different sizes of Patagonia Black Hole duffel for travel during the school year. We have already talked about looking into a storage unit for storing stuff over the summer.
I haven’t heard from him much, which I’ll take as a good sign for the time being. He reported that the food was good, so there’s that. He still has a week of preseason and then orientation begins. We’ll see how things change once the campus is full again. I came home exhausted for sure, not just from the move but from a really busy summer in general. We still have two weeks to go before my other two start school. It is definitely quieter around the house, and in town as well, as most of the college kids have left for school.
