Back from Kenyon. Good visit! Reminded me of what I loved about college–lots of interesting people making fun, thoughtful art of all kinds and supporting one another in doing so. Very little careerist talk, which is refreshing.
Happily had a long, unplanned informal talk with new Director of Admissions and we bonded over HBCUs and upper south independent school world. Like everyone I met there, a kind, delightful person. Smaller schools care that you’re there, which is not a small thing for me.
More importantly, my son enjoyed most of the very tiring day, and unlike others is a big fan of Gambier and fine with Mount Vernon. My mother’s family is from the Shenandoah Valley–VERY similar topographically and demographically to Knox County, Ohio–and my sisters all live in a similarly small town in NC that my son knows very well. He started off thinking “CITY!” but Gambier felt like home, and the short hour’s drive to Columbus, with record stores and indie cinemas and global cuisine, was reassuring. Tours were good, kids were interesting and welcoming, and the architecture is a big, big plus.
That said, he’s still not 100%! (Some of the same things were advantages at Olaf, and he liked how earnest folks were there). I wanted to fill the car with Kenyon merch, but I kept my mouth shut about it, mostly.
I think he’s waiting for his older brother to visit home this weekend to help him decide. We’ll see. Trying not to push; it’s his life!!
She went there for undergrad too…it was one of the reasons I wanted her to go somewhere else, just to experience a difference college. I suspect that at some point she is also going to be writing “ I moved here for undergrad and never left!”
The eerily the same pastel decorated to-the-hilt dorm rooms have always struck me as potentially perfect fodder for a Twilight Zone episode! Like, who actually lives like this?! Or wants to? Instead, also in the vein of perfect classic television, kids should be made to watch the Buffy episode where she gets a college roommate obsessed with Cher’s music (Believe!) and who turns out to be a runaway demon. See what you have to look forward to, kids?
Yeah, I’m just a little uncomfortable that part of the decision is about comfort zone rather than purely the merits of the program. But, it’s her decision and I will back her fully.
(Not to mention my annoyance at the short response time and lack of funding vs the other options but..I’ll shut up now lol)
I always wonder what these rooms look like after the move-in day photos. Do they really remake the beds perfectly with all the pillows and throws in perfect position and keep everything in tip-top order every day? If so they are different to most college students I’ve known!! Neat is one thing but having everything just so all the time…?
That’s what gets me, too – I don’t care how people decorate their rooms. Minimalist, over-the-top, somewhere in the middle, it’s all good. But where is all the functional STUFF in the picture-perfect rooms? My oldest has books and snacks and toiletries sitting on her dresser and photos of her friends on a magnet board and electronics plugged in and just all the stuff she needs to live her life.
Is all of that hidden away in the rooms with the magazine-like decor? So you have to take something out to use it and then hide it away again?
More power to the college kids who can live like that – I have yet to figure out how to hide all the clutter in my house at age 52, lol.
An update for those following along at home. We might be down to two colleges. Last night D26 was chatting about how her decision was going, and it looks like Haverford may have suffered a fatal blow during the admitted students day. We talked a lot about athletes, of which there are many at Haverford. D26 is not athletic (but does want to do some type of club or rec sport? I dunno anymore. ) Anyway, as we left the admitted students day around 4pm we saw what seemed like the entire school around the athletic fields. Considering that while we had seen students throughout the day, that was sparser. It was really a big contrast. That and one of the students at lunch talking about how all the parties were at the lacrosse and baseball houses also probably didn’t help.
Anyway, the journey continues! We’ll see if she reevaluates anything. It’s like a cheesy soap opera. I wonder if we’ll get a character from the past to reappear?!
If you only knew some of the “factors” one of my S24’s took into highest “consideration” as he made his “decision.” Yes, allllll the “““‘s are there for a reason. I hear you on the little uncomfortable part. At least it’s in the greatest city in the world? I wish I could say that for S24. Though of course outwardly, I supported and still support his choice all the way. This is a safe space to confess true thoughts. And it has worked out very well for him in the end…
Interesting, I actually thought Pitzer was going to receive a similar fatal blow when the football team was hosting a pool party during admitted students day. The jock bros throwing a football, swilling beer, and bumping hip-hop, while a crew of girls in little bikinis are in the pool is 1000% not D26’s scene at all. It was also the most non-admissions office working students we’d seen all day.
Yet it somehow persists on her list. As does Haverford, but we didn’t get the jock vibes there.
One week till decision day. Wife and I remain in the dark on what she is thinking. I am finding the lack of communication torturous. Wife has insisted that we will all sit down and talk through it after D26 meeting with her counselor. I hope D26 is more forthcoming with counselor than with us so that she can get some useful grown up insights.
Yeah, in fairness, I think D26 is trying to find reasons to narrow her list. This was likely an easy scapegoat. We’ve basically said that it comes down to vibes at this point, and this was her perception on the vibe. I agree, though, that Haverford doesn’t come across with jock vibes at all. But I think the perception of kids going to the lacrosse house for a party may have been too much. It’s at least one of the reasons that she didn’t apply to Amherst.
We’ve been doing the “How’s the decision coming along - want to chat?” thing and she’s been open to that, within reason. That’s the only way we got the insight yesterday. (Edit to add - it’s also why I think maybe the list isn’t really as narrowed as we might hope!)
Part of me also wonders if those students perhaps feel pressure to appear ‘perfectly polished in every way.’ In some student organizations, there can sometimes be a lot of pressure to always look your best & present an image of a happy college co-ed all the time. That can be pretty stressful.
The wait is kinda of excrutiating. And I really would not have gotten that vibe from Pitzer based on the website (or our brief visit to see Scripps while we were out at Oxy!).
You are right. It seems totally inconsistent with what they are mostly about and not what I think the vast majority of the student population is like. But, they have a football team. And football dudes are gonna be football dudes. And they, and the what I suspect is a minority of the women who have similar socio/cultural energy just happened to be pool partying then.
For those who don’t know the Pitzer pool is the center of the first-year dorm quad, with a student center on one side. It is a gorgeous setting. But D26 admitted student reception was right next to it while they were bumping hip hop and swilling cheap beer at the pool.
Also on Scripps, I had thought D26 might want to reconsider moving it off her list after the Pitzer visit. But, nope. She did not. Ironically, I think the Scripps vibe fits a lot of what she wants. But, she was not interested in reconsidering it.
My daughter liked Scripps -but we just drove around the town and walked the campus. And she did speak to a STEM student which was useful. And there was no hip-hop, beer swilling folks at 730am. Haha - I’m guessing they were asleep. It’s so weird the impressions we get from small slices! I always wonder if we visited my daughter’s same options again, if the impression would be totally different! Say - a hockey game at Colorado or following a Biology student for a day at Mac. I feel mildly bad for the colleges that so much rest on one or two small slices of time in which anything can happen! (Like a football beer swilling party).
I think we are getting closer!! She sent out emails to ask about certain career related elements -and the answers she got back definitely are pushing her in one direction. She sent a follow up set of emails -so we will see what those say! Feeling less anxious today!
I have a similar story…
) Anyway, as we left the admitted students day around 4pm we saw what seemed like the entire school around the athletic fields. Considering that while we had seen students throughout the day, that was sparser. It was really a big contrast. That and one of the students at lunch talking about how all the parties were at the lacrosse and baseball houses also probably didn’t help.