If cost is indeed the same then there are other issues at play here. No wonder he is so frustrated if the only thing is that the parents want him closer to home.
There are so many issues flying around this situation, you don’t know where to start.
If Rutgers is around 26k, and UNCW is “about the same”, why are they borrowing 29k?
NJ tuition is ~$14k/year. I ran the net price calculator for a transfer student at Rutgers. A family of 5 with an income of $30k, no assets, and one student in college would qualify for a ~$5k Pell grant and a ~$9k state grant. That would cover tuition. If I rememer correctly, there was at least one – maybe two – universities within commuting distance, but LBad didn’t want to go to them.
The costs are only the same if you compare the total COA for NJ publics to what the family is currently borrowing. Residential college would cost $30k/year at the more expensive schools. They currently seem to be borrowing the federal student loan + a $29k parent loan (~$35k/year). But LBad wouldn’t be paying $30k for a NJ public. After applying Pell and the state grant the net cost (for direct costs) would be ~$15k if he went to a residential college and ~$0 if he commuted. He might have to take the federal student loan to help cover the costs of commuting, but he’d be saving ~$60-85k over the next 2 years. He’d still have ~$75k of loans, but that’s so much better than the ~$147k he’s on track for now.
Nothing inherently wrong with UNCW, but no way is it worth $120k in debt to go there. Horrendous, life altering mistake. Sorry to be so blunt.
I think there was a college savings account from when the dad had a higher paying job.
Sounds like the parents are hoping that the sister will get into an Ivy.
If I remember correctly Lbad got merit from a few NJ schools like Rider, Stetson.
Stetson’s in FL, maybe you meant that.
29k in parent loans, whether or not there was also a savings acct. Huge.
He previously said uncw was the best offer.
Oh I’m sorry. I thought Stetson was in NJ. He got merit from a few schools, but not sure what final costs were.
Good points above:
- Probably too late to put in transfer application for next fall. OP should ride that out so by the time parents raise that as an issue it is too late to file transfer application. Just focus on improving grades THIS semester at UNCW.
- No guarantee 3.1 GPA will get into Rutgers as a transfer student.
- Doubt cost is much different.
Glad OP is taking a break and hopefully studying!
Gosh, I came here to finally post about how you’re doing fine and a few bumps isn’t the end of the road, and I see others have already posted this!
That said, LBad, a 3.5 is entirely reachable for you. ENTIRELY REACHABLE.
The best advice someone gave me years ago when I had a similar crisis was, “You have to decide what you want and cut everything else out.” What they meant was that progress and success and thus self esteem comes through focus. I didn’t have it–I was floundering all over the place. But once you put your nose to the grindstone, and see what you’re capable of, well, there is no greater pride.
As far as the “ax over your head” try to think of it this way-- Your ax is imaginary. The ax over your parents’ heads (29K/year loan???) is very much real. Get that 3.5. You are entirely capable and everything else you want will come in its own time.
I am so glad you are feeling better. You sound like a terrific person. FWIW my D has like 800 FB friends, never looks at any of their pages, and accepts requests like once every 6 months, IF that. It might not mean anything.
I’m not sure the college funds still exist. I think they were used trying to keep the family afloat. Posts 343 and 345 of “My Ongoing College Admissions” thread seem to indicate that’s the case.
LBad responded in #345 that the poster hit the nail on the head.
They apparently chose the $29k/year loan over a college that wanted $30k out-of-pocket because the money to pay out-of-pocket isn’t there.
But those didn’t have to be the two finalists. We advise all the time to find true affordability.
According to him, he received about $12K in scholarships from UNCW. I believe his parents originally told him not to worry about $ despite their financial situation because they had a huge college fund set aside that would pay for anywhere he wanted to go, but would not give him specifics. He was originally considering some expensive private schools and they did nothing to discourage him from applying. Some accepted him and offered limited scholarship $, but the net cost of UNCW was significantly less expensive than anywhere else he was accepted.
Only after he chose the least expensive option of UNCW did they tell him there was only enough in the fund to cover in state costs. This is when he learned that the private colleges he was accepted to would not have been affordable anyway, but the $12K in scholarship money from UNCW brought the cost down enough to be doable. There was also some hint that his parents dipped into the college fund when they hit hard times (and they hadn’t previously shared that either), so at least some borrowing would be necessary, but they don’t sound like they’ve been very open with him about the specifics of their finances. We also don’t know if money was also set aside in college funds for his siblings, but it’s hard to imagine they’d only set aside money for one child. They may be borrowing all they can now just because they can. We don’t know and I doubt he does either.
Of course commuting locally would bring costs down significantly. I think most parents in their financial situation would have felt there was no choice but have him either commute to a local CC for the first two years and then commute to Rutgers IF they are within commuting distance - or have him commute to Rutgers all 4 years, but I don’t remember any mention of him being within commuting distance or that his parents ever considered having him commute anywhere. For whatever reason, their intent always seemed to be for him to go away to college somewhere, but wanted it to be closer to home.
Agreed. He’s under the impression that the net cost would be roughly the same, and that would indicate they haven’t mentioned commuting. As mentioned by @austinmshauri , additional in-state grants could bring down the cost even further, but I wonder if they’ve ever run the net price calculator and factored that into their thinking. If I remember correctly, he never even applied for financial aid because he believed there was a fund that would cover the cost of going anywhere. If he had applied, he’d know more about their true financial situation. Maybe they just don’t want him to?
If they intend for him to commute for financial reasons, they really need to share that with him. He might hate it, but at least he’d have a better understanding of their reasoning. They also need to consider the true net cost of Rutgers vs. UNCW if all his credits don’t transfer and he has to go into a 5th year. Pulling the plug before running all the numbers doesn’t make much sense to me.
That’s the explanation, but not the logical way. There are 8 state colleges in NJ and 19 cc, and the NJ Transfer Program. Rather than borrow 120k+, the CC advice would have been go where you can afford, commute, if possible. As he pointed out on this thread, his hs avg was sub 3.0.
I know, he wanted to leave the state. But many kids can’t afford to, without things like that massive parent loan and the student loan.
Anyone saying, but your parents didn’t tell you or, gosh, the parent gpa goal is unreasonable, has to remember the bottom line cost. And the goal, I gather, of some top business grad program- top means top ug/college performance, some experience, and more moolah.
And at some point, a college student needs to pull these pieces together, learn what his real transfer options are, at what costs. (Not have posters o the legwork.) And what grad school options, with a 3.1.
I know he wants to stay at uncw, but I think the cost needs to be respected- and one way is the grades. The loans are back breaking and deserve more than, well, it’s better than hs. Or this entitlement about the social growth, " enjoying." Sorry I’m harsh, but wow.
And in this thread, he said no scholarships.
^ No scholarships, but “grants.”
Tbh I don’t think anyone here knows the full situation and all this doom-and-gloom “What a train wreck!” and “Horrendous, life altering mistake” stuff proooooobably isn’t helping someone who already has problems with anxiety?
The full line: “I have federal fin aid (grants and loans), but no scholarship from the school yet.”
The soft approach is going in circles. And those parent loans are huge. No one is moaning over the student loan of 27k.
He’s not even here anymore and the last two pages have been just a bunch of people exclaiming over how bad his situation is. Don’t you think this has basically run its course? They can’t do anything about the debt now.
He’ll be back. He’s a prolific poster.
I hope so. It kills me that such a likable guy has these insecurities and social anxiety. He’s hard not to root for.
@LBad96 you seem like a really great kid. We are all rooting for you!
Hey, everyone. I took some time off yesterday because I had a Geology Lab midterm exam to take today, which I took earlier. Should’ve taken a break from all this at least a day earlier, but oh well. I did study hard and I even organized a study session which a couple of people came to (I’ve always had a habit of organizing study groups in the library ever since last year). It definitely helped. We shall see. I’ve got a couple of exams (US History and Geology Lecture) as well as a quiz (History of Jazz) next week, so definitely going to study hard for those in advance.
Looks like there are some things I need to clarify.
First of all, NONE of the loans we have taken out for my UNCW career have been a Parent PLUS loan; we were denied going into my freshman year and we never raised the issue again. At the start of my college career a year and a half ago, I had a $5000 outside scholarship, in addition to a tuition offset grant and the Pell Grant, all three of which together totaled $12K. Then, we had a Perkins loan, two unsubsidized loans, one subsidized loan, and a school-specific loan of just under $3K (which took care of a balance that carried over into the summer; a balance that prevented me from registering for classes until just before I returned for the fall, and also cost me my Seahawk Link job). Those loans totaled over $16K. THIS year, we have the Pell Grant for just under $4K, Work-Study for $1250 (halved because I didn’t get a job in the fall), and then the Perkins, two unsub, one sub, and school-specific loans for a combined $23K. The school-specific loans are interest-free. My dad has told me that he will pay all the loans back for me (he hopes to start doing so by the start of next school year), and that I have no need to worry about it. We have just started a new business that we hope will help with financial struggles. We are no longer homeless (we got out of that situation just after I first moved in as a freshman), but we still haven’t fully recovered as of yet.
Secondly, according to [this link](Rutgers Bonner Leader Program - Scarlet Hub), Rutgers’ full cost of attending for IN-STATE students is almost $33K. According to [this one](Financial Aid | UNCW), UNCW is $37K for OOS; however, my family has private insurance, we don’t pay nearly THAT much for transportation, the meal cost is if you have the SAME meal plan year-round (I had a different, “cheaper” meal plan last semester), no one buys ALL their books (mostly renting) and idek how you can spend THAT much for personal expenses. So the full cost for UNCW OOS is realistically closer to $32K than it is to $37K. So UNCW is actually less expensive than Rutgers for an NJ student. Rutgers continually places near the top of the list for most expensive public Us for in-state students. If we really want to mention [NJIT[/url] and [url=<a href=“https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/college-university-search/the-college-of-new-jersey%5DTCNJ%5B/url”>https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/college-university-search/the-college-of-new-jersey]TCNJ[/url], (TIP: click on the section on the left-hand side that says “Paying”) those two in-state universities are even more expensive. I believe all their transfer app deadlines have passed as well; I know Rutgers’ was 2/1.
No, my parents were never really open about finances for some reason. Yes, I have applied for the FAFSA all three years now (I submitted it for next year as well). My parents were literally fine with me applying pretty much anywhere, and they wanted me to find the best fit school. They didn’t care whether it was in or out-of-state. With all the scholarships, federal grants, and loans, Rider would’ve been $3K/year (they recruited me HARD), and Stetson would’ve been $15K per year (they gave me larger merit than Rider). Quinnpiac, who some of you may remember was the LBad Cup losing finalist two years ago, was the $30K out-of-pocket school. Hofstra, who finished fourth, would’ve been $44K out-of-pocket. Even if you HAVE the money, paying THAT much for either of those two universities is pure insanity. Especially when neither of them are academically as good as UNCW (Quinnipiac and Stetson, who finished third, were the closest in that respect).
I know Kean and Stockton were mentioned, as was Rowan. Kean is an absolute joke of a university, on the level of a community college in academic terms with [url=<a href=“http://www.nj.com/union/index.ssf/2016/06/kean_violated_law_in_buying_250k_conference_table.html%5Djumbled”>http://www.nj.com/union/index.ssf/2016/06/kean_violated_law_in_buying_250k_conference_table.html]jumbled spending priorities](BigFuture College Search) only a 25-minute train ride from my house. A commuter school that struggles to attract even out-of-county students, much less OOS. Stockton and Rowan are both 1.5 hours away in South Jersey, and therefore would be difficult to commute to. I could attempt to tolerate Rowan because of my HS best friend, and it’s decent academically at 3.5 stars (though still not as good as 4-star UNCW and especially in my major). But Stockton is also below my standards. It’s still okay, better than the likes of Montclair, WPU and Kean for sure, but very average academically at about 3 stars. Frankly, I am 100% above the idea of ever attending a NJ school. Not because of arrogance or egotism or entitlement, but because I’ve EARNED the right to not only attend a distant OOS university, but to remain at that OOS school. Yes, it’s not up to my parent’s ridiculous standards, and yes, I am concentrated on improvement, but I’ve done well for myself so far. Take that however you wish, I really don’t care.
In the event of a transfer, the only school I am really interested in attending is Temple. Yes, it’s expensive, but I like the idea of attending school in Philly at a respected public doctoral university. On-campus housing isn’t THAT hard to come by (I don’t think), school spirit is great, basketball team is fantastic (perhaps better than the one we have here). But I’m not sure how I’d adjust because it’s twice UNCW’s undergrad size and I’d be a transfer student who’s already from OOS from an even farther school. It would be interesting, that’s for sure. Temple’s transfer app deadline is not until June 1st, so I still definitely have time to figure that out. I guess I would also apply to Rowan, whose deadline is April 15th (and they give a fee waiver to those who apply before April 1st).
But the bottom line is, I don’t really want to leave UNCW very much at all. I was in a bit of a funk last week for sure, but I reaffirm my commitment to remaining here all four years and completing my degree at one of the better up-and-coming universities in the nation. My first love is my best love. And I believe my parents would rather me finish my degree here, too. 
I really appreciate all the comments, support, well-wishes, and endearing words. Not just on this thread, but throughout my entire time on this website. You have no idea how much it all means to a 20-year-old, socially awkward/anxious, extroverted first-gen American who’s just trying to live out his dreams and make his family proud. Much love to you all!!!
About to head to the UNCW men’s basketball game against Towson, penultimate home game of the season. We’re probably about to lock up the #1 seed in the CAA tournament (our third-straight regular season title). I plan on going to Charleston for the first time to support the team as we take aim at a second consecutive Big Dance appearance. WINGS UP!!! 
P.S. @redpoodles: almost 2000 FB friends (hey, same as my SAT score, lol) in five years. Majority are now college friends as opposed to HS ones. 
Now will be taking any questions and inquiries.