How many here think it’s acceptable or even a good idea to edit your child’s or teenager’s school work? I must admit that I was shocked when I heard that someone I know did this. It has never once occurred to me to do that.
I’m not talking about checking math calculations if the child asks you to do that, simply to “check in” with you to see if they’re on the right track with regard to the assigned work or something. Mine never did this, but I can see how some kids would want verification that they haven’t messed up the entire assignment, and I wouldn’t blame a parent for saying, “You’d better check your work; I see many errors here; it looks as if you added some digits when you should have subtracted.”
Rather, I’m talking about writing/re-writing/heavily editing essays that will be turned in for a grade. I really could not do that. “Could not” as in morality, not as in unable to. My own mother was superbly qualified to edit my work, and it would also have never occurred to her to do that.
Once, when younger D was in college a couple of years ago, she asked for my feedback on an essay, even though she had never done that before. She told me or showed me what the assignment was, and was careful to add that she wasn’t asking anything about her specific wording, just whether, as a reader, I thought she was responding to the assigned question (the wording of the question was rather complex and advanced) in an intelligible way. I did reply, on the phone, that I thought her answer was responding, but that one area could maybe be more succinct or something. (Both elements of feedback were broad, in other words.) I thought that was ethical, and she also never felt the need later to ask for my help, whether she thought she was or wasn’t doing well in a class.
I would be surprised to see how much a parent could actually improve a top student’s essay by completely reworking it. Kids usually know what their teachers want and what’s expected for a good grade. How many adults continue to write research papers and analyze literature years after they’ve graduated? Very few I suspect.
I would never let my parents edit a paper I wrote - suggestions, maybe (though I tend to avoid this, as they’ve been critical in the past). My dad’s a tax lawyer, so his style of writing is probably not what’s needed in AP Lit.
@jackrabbit14
Thank you for your thoughts. Well, some of us do continue to analyze literature because we also do that for a living! However, I think in this case the parent was concerned that the literature was over the student’s (every student’s) head. All the more reason, as @JustOneDad said, to insist that the student use the opportunity to learn, even at the risk of less than an A grade. I know that I learned from the challenges in school and college and from the courage that sometimes required of me.
I have helped my kids with grammar, spelling and word choice - plenty of times. Also plenty of times they’ve done it on their own. I guess I mostly have done this level of editing with various applications that were outside the classroom and that could benefit from a second eye. Don’t see anything wrong with it.
Like many discussions on this Web page, I suspect that the amount of help given to students by parents falls on quite a long continuum, from none to quite a lot. There was a boy at my daughter’s school last year who had a reputation for his mother doing a lot of his work because she wanted him to perform at a certain level. She even retired when he graduated and went to live in the same Florida city where he was going to go to college. Last rumor I heard was that he didn’t do too well first semester, went wild partying in the dorm, and second semester they were rooming together again. So it can be extreme. Not sure how she will continue to be able to do his work as he advances through his engineering program, if he does.
If I asked, I would proofread and point out errors (rare). And I was always willing to discuss how they were approaching their ideas and structure. Never changed a word myself, so no “editing”. Both are extremely good writers.
(I remember once when D was in 6th grade, mentioning a couple comma splices in an essay. No, she said, the teacher says that’s okay. Sigh–he knew better than her composition-teaching mom. Luckily, 7th grade English teacher set her straight, and then suddenly Mom was smarter. Loved the sixth grade teacher except for that.)
But I didn’t change it and hand it back for them to submit…oh no. I would read it once and if there was not much to change, a comma here or there, I would make the change in red and hand it back. If there were more changes than that, I would make the kid sit with me while I explained all the fixes I wanted to make. Key words here: changes I wanted to make. I would suggest changes, not make them.
If ever a piece of work required a lot of changes, I would make some global comments and hand it back to be rewritten by the kid.
I didn’t edit everything they wrote. If they asked me and I had time I would help.
We homeschooled until high school. There was very little writing instruction in high school. The norm was a paper returned with an A and no comments. The kids understood writing is a skill needing constant practice and asked for feedback from us. Their dad gave them as much help as they requested. I was pretty much useless except for catching typos. In college and grad school, they’d sometimes ask me to read something to be sure it was clearly written. The idea seemed to be: if Mom can understand it, anyone can.
All three of my kids have asked me to look over the big pieces of writing from high school through graduate school. Regular homework, no. But theses, college admission essays, yes. I was the last pair of eyes for all of the big things, including D2’s 150 page senior thesis which was all about chemistry and made my brain melt. My son is a junior and I reviewed two things for him this year. The first was his college essay because he wanted to know if the topic was personal enough and he was a little unclear about where the line was. I had no problem with that. The second was his year-long research paper. It had a lot of specific guidelines and he asked me to review it the day before submission to make sure he didn’t miss anything. His school grades that paper as a separate class in the GPA, so it is hugely important. In middle school, when I wouldn’t help at all, he did a paper about the economies of the New England state, he left the page for Rhode Island on the dining room table and failed, which was a glitch on the high school admissions process. We will never do that again and in fact often refer to “wanting to avoid another Rhode Island situation.”
There are a number of ways to approach the question. If the goal is improving writing skills, any beneficial input should be acceptable and desirable. If it is all about the grade, then privileging those with access to superior outside resources may be unethical. imho.
On occasion my kids would ask me to read something they had written. If I noticed a grammatical error, I would use it as a teaching moment. More often, I would just point it out if I had trouble understanding something. For example, I might say something to the effect of “I don’t really understand the point you’re trying to make in the 4th paragraph.” I never re-wrote or gave detailed corrections.
I believe many parents rewrite (or actually write) essays for college and scholarship apps, or hire someone to do so! I was shocked when I first heard of that, but since this was our 3rd time through the college application process, I guess nothing shocks me anymore.
For some, it’s just a continuation of the parents doing the 3rd grade science project or coloring for their kids. One time my son turned in a piece of &%^*% science project that was covered in hot glue and duct tape. It was hideous and clearly kid-made. But the thing actually worked as intended! The teacher accused him of having a parent do the work. We were both offended! LOL!
My kids have very different writing styles and abilities and so my assistance differs.
D (excellent student) only asks me to look at lengthier papers, and it’s basically what @barfly described. I will also note if she is making the same point repeatedly but in different words (usually for no reason other than to extend the length of the paper; I hate those minimum word count rubrics!) So I might suggest that she tighten up what she has and add another supporting example–but it’s up to her to actually do those tasks.
S (average student) handles routine writing on his own, but will ask me to review papers. Usually he starts off strong, but then his enthusiasm dwindles and the last half of his papers drop off in content and creativity. So I’ll make detailed comments, like, “Can you come up with more supporting examples in this 4th paragraph?” or “Let’s see how you can vary your sentence structure to make this flow better,” or “Try finding some synonyms so you don’t use the same word four times in a row.” He was shocked when I suggested using the Thesaurus tool in Word for this purpose; he thought it was “cheating” to use a word he hadn’t thought up himself! I explained that if it was a word he and his peers could reasonably be expected to comprehend, it was fine, but agreed that he shouldn’t just randomly use the thesaurus to “dress up” his vocabulary. So he gets considerably more assistance, although I think I stop well short of re-writing. Also, my point is not to get a better grade on that particular paper but to have him understand how specific techniques contribute to more effective writing.
On rare occasions, was asked to read a final draft of a paper- maybe three times for one of two kids. I always felt my role was to draw their attention to any problem areas (lack of clarity, typo changing meaning, etc) and let them figure out the fix. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to suggest the remedy. We also encouraged them to read sections they weren’t sure of out loud to themselves. Both of our kids earn their livings as writers now: this wasn’t an area of academic struggle for either of them. For kids who have a challenging an area, something other than parents doing the work for them seems a better solution. I am big on ownership and progress relative to oneself.
Interesting replies so far. I see a real difference between writing instruction and taking over the project or assignment. I think one problem in this case has been the child not leaving enough time, which always tempts the “helper” to rewrite rather than question, guide, suggest. I also think that one modeled example for the student, within the paper, can go a long way. Having it heavily co-written or overwritten is something else, in my view. To me, in the latter case the parent is earning the grade, not the student.
Writing is a process. Writing and rewriting the same piece can be a wonderful learning experience. Most teachers in school won’t have time for that. It’s an unrealistic expectation. A few parents will have both the time and the expertise to assist their kids in such a way. Is that unethical? Should they just save the outside writing instruction for non-school writing?
What about discussing reading with kids? Is it unethical for kids to discuss the books they are reading in school with their parents over dinner? Do parents have to be careful how they respond?
Doing the kids schoolwork for them in hopes of a better grade is just self-defeating and very sad waste of time, imho. However, doing the work for a child is usually a lot less time consuming than teaching them how to do it themselves. Sort of like chores.
Yes, I will look at my children’s work if they ask. I am a reading/ English teacher and have a lot more time to teach them than their own teachers. So giving me something to read for them means that they are responsible for all the re-writes, but I will point out and discuss errors and things that are not communicated clearly. I never would try to make a child’s work into my own or change their voice or particular point of view.
They have both developed into good writers, but will still run things by me on occasion. It is always good to have a second read on most things.
However, I think in this case the parent was concerned that the literature was over the student’s (every student’s) head. All the more reason, as