I do not consider this unethical at all. I think this is just the way things do and should work in a home where the parents value education. We are raising lifelong learners, and our family enjoys discussions like this. But I think there is a big difference between discussing a book they are reading for a class, and discussing an actual assignment for the book. If my kid were to say “Tomorrow we have at test over this book. Can we discuss the book together at dinner to help me study?”, I think that would be fine. But if the kid said “I have to write an essay on this topic for a grade”, well I don’t think that should be discussed.
We have a local family where the parents basically did all the projects for the kids. What did this teach the kids? Well, the oldest kid got caught cheating on a Spanish test in middle school. The youngest one was a known cheater in high school. I guess the plan worked, though, as all 3 are going to Ivy League schools and want to be doctors. I, personally, would never go to one of them. I’d be concerned that they might have cheated their way through med school, or that the parents might be performing the surgery once the patient is put under.
Why would you introduce such a straw man that is so off-topic from both my OP and from the way I responded to your questions? What is your purpose? Are you trying to be provocative & rhetorical, or just difficult? There is nothing in my posts which would imply that it’s “unethical” to discuss books, for heaven’s sake.
And it’s your child’s and my child’s chore, not your chore or my chore. IMHO.
@epiphany Actually I think the question about discussing books with children is appropriate to the question posed.
The biggest problem I see with essays written by students is that although someone may write a lot-- and it may even sound good-- in reality, they might not have really said much. To me, the hardest part of writing is knowing the point you are trying to make and coming up with a clear thesis statement. The writing is secondary to knowing what you are writing about. The first step to writing is brainstorming and planning what it is that you are trying to communicate.
So the idea of discussing books, or themes, or ideas before actually writing the paper out is part of the writing process. When I see my students or my own children looking lost when they are writing --or procrastinating–the first thing I do is ask what it is that they are trying to say. I am not telling them what to write, but by discussing the subject of the paper, they are forced to formulate their own ideas and organize them.
Book discussions or discussions about what a paper is going to be about are helpful to students and as a teacher I would encourage a parent to have those kind of discussions if possible. I do not believe in a totally hands off approach to learning and the idea that learning is the student’s and teacher’s responsibility alone. I communicate all the time with parents who want to assist their children and I try to guide them in terms of what is helpful and what is not.
I’m sorry. I still say that book discussions have nothing to do with the actual act of writing. Book discussions are also what teachers do in the classroom, obviously – some not as effectively or as thoroughly as would help the child write. This thread is not about the legitimacy of book discussions.
We moved halfway through 10th grade and my new English teacher wasn’t enamored with my writing. My mom started helping me in English; editing, forcing re-writes, etc. In the end my mother wrote my Old Man and the Sea essay. She got a C-. She turns 77 this year and she is still p.o.'d about that grade. I think that was the last time I ever asked for help with my homework…