Great news. Thanks for the update.
What a great update! No wonder you are a such a fan of Tabor. They earned it.
As an aside, this thread was new right around the time I started lurking on CC. I learned a lot about a lot from it. Thank you for sharing a painful experience so that others could benefit from it.
Thank you so much for the update. It was great to hear all the good news and read the recommendations. 
"To which this formal and imposing woman smiled, and replied, “Only one?” "
Love this. Very Holden Caufield-esque.
Wonderful outcome and a good reminder that missteps by teenagers don’t need to be and shouldn’t be an albatross around their necks and that they deserve second chances.
Thanks for sharing as it will no doubt be useful for other families down the road.
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“But a BS acts in place of parents and they do have the burden of maintaining order in their community.”
They also have the obligation to know what is going on with your kid. And accept responsibility for their welfare. And follow their own rules and procedures. And not dissemble.
It took Tabor to teach her “…the Great End and Real Business of Living.” All good now!
Thanks @Garandman for the update and your gracious shout outs to everyone who was helpful along the way.
It’s great to see your story of how everything does indeed work out in the end.
his efforts. 
Thanks for the update. Best of luck to your daughter.
I will share this: a former head of one of the 8 schools once told me that he often thought to himself, after a kid and parents left his office after being expelled, that he would see that kid next on the Board of Trustees. His view was these kids took a setback and worked harder, and ended up achieving more in life, than their peers who remained at the school. In other words, a little adversity sometimes isn’t a bad thing.
Well done OP and OP’s daughter!
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Important to note that the thread title is somewhat misleading as OP’s daughter was permitted to withdraw from boarding school and was not expelled.
In the grand scheme of clickbait titles, this ranks pretty low, IMO. The OP did explain in the body of the post. And really, it’s a subtle distinction similar to being fired vs asked to resign. Yes, one is better for the future, but the person on the receiving end at that moment will feel like crap regardless of the semantics.
And the net result is very similar. Not only would one feel like crap regardless of being kicked out or asked to depart, but they will have to relive it multiple times going forwaard as they go to explain the sudden transition in their transcript.
I too love the, “only one?” comment. I feel the same way about failing a test. When I hear someone fails a test for the first time I want to say, “congratulations!”
That’s great, @Garandman. I am so glad things have worked out — and worked out so well — for your daughter. Teens make mistakes and certainly deserve a second chance (and more). Best wishes to her in college.
The difference is much more significant than “semantics” with respect to college admissions. Students withdraw from boarding schools for a variety of non-disciplinary reasons, including family emergencies & illness. If colleges were aware that the withdrawal was due to a disciplinary ultimatum of “withdraw or be expelled”, then that student’s college applications may be evaluated differently than for a “non-disciplinary withdrawal”.
Not really. Being asked to resign will generally not be a stated reason for leaving on a job application and the employer will likely not say that in an employment check. Similarly being asked to withdraw will likely not be stated to colleges by the school. Note that in each case, I said “likely;” we can all find exceptions. Being fired/expelled is a big old red flag though. But we can agree to disagree.
Good reminder that life gives us many chances, and one mistake doesn’t mean the end of one’s life. Lots of chances to learn from our mistakes and start over, albeit some life lessons are hard to swallow while they’re happening.
I’m glad to hear about the happy ending!
I am so happy you came back and tied up loose ends for us. Three cheers to you, your daughter, Tabor, and the Grand Dame. I just love a happy ending. It helps abate my endless fretting about things I possibly can’t know yet.
Best to you!!!
A couple follow up points.
First, thanks for the well-wishes.
There are benefits to an institution for offering withdrawal. Notably, it makes a successful lawsuit more difficult. If you are in this situation, consult your attorney if you believe there are any grounds for lawsuit before you withdraw. Settlements in such cases usually include non-disclosure agreements. In our case, we chose not to pursue any legal remedies.
College applications usually include some sort of catch-all question about any disciplinary action. Some matters (for example, parietal violations, drinking) are considered trivial. We were told that others (examples given were cyber-bullying, plagiarism, or selling drugs) are considered more serious. Even then, they may not be disqualifying if a course correction is evident. “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” GS Patton Jr.
In my opinion, actual expulsion versus having the door held open for you would have made absolutely no difference in college outcome. YMMV.
It CAN make a difference when there is an unexplained transfer senior year. But it is not necessarily the case