You should also discuss your transfer plan with your parents to see if it is feasible.
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Looks like CUNY offers 3 week winter classes. Taking a college class (and I would not take more than one) under such a compressed time frame would be challenging for many students. Consider if such a class would be a good choice for you.
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Honestly I don’t know what other schools because Lafayette is a good distance and the others are far. They’re good but far.
I’m actually getting worried. For context I’m
Planning to transfer to Lafayette or another school not too far from NYC but I’m scared because I’m think about if I get in to either one of them but my parents forcefully stop me.
My family is traditional Bengalis and they’re are often thinking that families must stay together. Nothing wrong with it expect my family was verbally abusive and ignorant and other stuff.
I’m worried that if I got in but I can’t go, it’s all a waste of my time and hard work for nothing. I’m worried that I’m gonna be stuck with these people for the rest of my adulthood and that I have to marry (arranged but I doubt that but still marriage scares me) or wait longer to leave.
I’m worried that I’m gonna regret it so much my mental health will get worse and I get mad easily and upset and I start to hate myself and make bad decisions to cope especially in a household where 75% of the people hate me. I’m worried that then I’ll treat my Life normally after like my plans and life weren’t ruined.
I really am scared because I don’t wanna stay here. People have told me stay here a bit longer, how can I I’ve been alive for 18 years, is that not long nearly two decades?
IMs sorry if I sound sensitive but I need this.
I’m sorry if venting isn’t allowed btw
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Apply to a few colleges that seem affordable as per NPC.
Plan on taking the federal loans (if you only take it for 2 years it should be relatively easy to pay off compared to a full loan).
If you can cover your costs your parents can’t stop you. They may gain new respect for your ability to plan and show what you want. If you don’t show that level of determination they may well think you don’t really mean it since it makes no sense to them.
As for now, prioritize your grades at City College. Go to office hours for every class, starting the first week, bringing questions you marked (star things you have questions about from the reading or the lecture as well as any problem set you’d like to go over and use that for office hours). Schedule tutoring/writing center one week before any paper is due.
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Venting is allowed. Hugs to you.
You are not the first student at CUNY to be dealing with family life issues like these. Please look in the directory for any of the following:
Dean of Student Life
Dean of Counseling Services
Director of Mental Health
First Gen Support Counselor
Make an appointment to go talk to that person. Your conversation will be confidential.
I understand the urge to go somewhere a few hours away, but I think you need to approach a transfer with a clear head. Getting a BA and then a job which allows you to support yourself– paying rent with a few roommates somewhere, food and transportation, etc. is the end goal. Getting away from a family situation is a near term problem– granted, it’s a big one, but don’t allow yourself to get sidetracked from your goal just to satisfy the short term need to gain some distance. Lafayette is great- but surely you can use your curiosity and research skills to come up with a couple of affordable options where your stats put you right in the “we want this student” zone, and where your explanation to your parents is “it’s close enough that you can visit me whenever you want” even if that never happens.
Hugs.
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Sorry for your issues at home. As I said earlier in the thread:
–Lafayette is a longshot. Do not pin your hopes and dreams on one college that is an academic reach and where you are not assured that finances will work or if your parents will allow you to attend.
–Your goal should be to become a self-supporting adult. Once this happens you can move out even without your parents approval. You CAN achieve this in the not too distant future even if you stay and graduate from CUNY.
– 100% agree with @blossom suggestion of seeking out professional help at whatever college you attend.
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