<p>Happy birthday to DTE and your D. I wish for a more peaceful one next year. I like the graduation memories.
Hugs to you sabaray…as Fallgirl said, that transition from college can be very stressful. I know my D really misses the buzz of college life. She is not exactly thrilled being my roomie either.
oregon - I not exactly sure I get all of what you are talking about but dealing with passive aggressive personalities for the rest of my life would be a huge red flag for me.</p>
<p>Good morning! Belated happy birthday, DTE!</p>
<p>Hugs, Sabaray. It might be one of those cases with your d that you will get closer as she gets older…I think I was like that with my mom, but in my case, at the time I had felt financially abandoned (which I was…at 18…my mom didnt believe in college and had been a hs dropout) though in truth looking back it might have been more about defining myself as different and distinct from my mom. </p>
<p>Lots of opportunity to review this kind of jazz this weekend as my three sisters were in town for birthday shenanigans and we had something of an all-nighter after clubbing on Saturday 
They each have a unique flair for drama, so parts of the weekend felt like a cross between an absurd play and a therapy retreat combined with at times a Vegas-style romp </p>
<p>Suffice it to say they wore me out, but I had a great time. Mch is a real sport about these visits and he also gets the “hubban award for effort” this year because he went to a lot of trouble to track down my “one ring to rule them all” as a birthday gift.</p>
<p>Several years back he’d bought me a beautifully designed Baltic amber ring that everyone on the planet comments on. At some point I got it into my head I’d like the same ring but with a garnet to switch now and then (for the color.). But nothing could be found as large and yet elegant as the ring I love, so I gave it up.</p>
<p>He had tried the original place he purchased it with no luck, then discovered the name of the European maker and contacted them directly. Then discovered they only work in amber. Then ordered not one, but TWO to be safe beautiful, similarly large cherry amber pieces, one with a little more style, the other with a larger stone, and presented them to me Sunday am. I love them both, but had asked if he’d like me to choose one and send the other back. He said he was pretty certain he couldn’t return either them and had bought both as a gift because they were the last two large ones available and since he couldn’t decide which one was more beautiful, figured I wouldn’t be able to either so was giving both. Moral of the story (and his point) is that there is not just ONE ring to rule them all So I’m feeling quite spoiled at the moment! </p>
<p>It is hard to explain to my one sister why her divorce-whirlwind-obsessive-dating is not working out. She is using the wrong measuring stick on the men, from my perspective. I have not successfully identified how to tell a guy who will put on his big boy pants and have your back in the tough times except to say he’ll be the kind of guy who is not self-absorbed and who will do little things that have a “big” impact on making you feel loved, even if he’s not particularly romantic in the day-to-day, and even if he doesn’t have to to keep you :)</p>
<p>^ with any luck your sister will see the good example that your H sets! (I would say that he is a gem, but can already hear the groans ) The rings sound lovely!</p>
<p>oregon, sending you the good thoughts, etc. that this will turn out OK. </p>
<p>D is leaving today and I am working so we are back to somewhat normal here.</p>
<p>Been a long, long time since I’ve checked in here – have been hanging out on the 2014 board a lot. </p>
<p>Happy Holidays to all!</p>
<p>Son '09 graduated with honors from college. Spent four months looking for a job before landing one. Decided, however, that the job was very misrepresented to him and left after a few months. But quickly landed another job. Waiting on hearing about his LSAT score, so he can apply to schools for the fall. Truthfully, he misses the academic world, so it’s better he returns to it. He does love the law and wants to be in the profession.</p>
<p>So we may have two heading to school in the fall. The younger son, who graduates from HS this spring, already has seven acceptances. </p>
<p>Son '09 insists my husband and I will be so bored with everyone gone this fall. So we need a dog, he remarked. The answer is no. I’m looking forward to some quiet time.</p>
<p>Happy belated birthday DTE.</p>
<p>I worry also sometimes about D and her boyfriend. They live together. I just don’t say anything that can be taken negatively about him. My mother wasn’t thrilled with me breaking up with my last boyfriend to date my H. There were things that she didn’t know that were really none of her business and there were some bad moments with her and I because of it. Eventually she did come to appreciate my H.</p>
<p>Good morning all. Relaxing morning here at home, since my deal isn’t closing this year. I did schedule a business lunch for today, so I will get myself together for that. We saw Saving Mr. Banks yesterday - we all really enjoyed it. We took younger D’s latest BF with us. The boy is good looking and hasn’t a brain in his head. Seriously not smart at all (and that is an understatement.) </p>
<p>Sabaray, I feel sad when I hear little kids say what they want to be when they grow up - fireman, cowboy, ballet dancer, lifeguard…I just think “a majority of you are going to end up working in cubicles at jobs you currently don’t even know exist.” I remember one year when we had a luncheon for our law clerks and my boss was talking about them finding something they wanted to do for the next 40 years…we were afraid they’d all jump out the windows afterwards.</p>
<p>Oregon, I guess it was “easier” when it was always the husband who was in med school and it was a given that the wife would give up whatever she was doing to follow him around. (“Easier” at the moment but not fair to generations of women.) Best wishes to all of you!</p>
<p>DTE, it is so good of you to take your MIL as often as you do. I have such a hard time with the caretaking thing, and I’m barely into it.</p>
<p>Kmc, your H should get some kind of award.</p>
<p>Missy - “not smart at all” being an understatement actually cracked me up. He’s basically eye candy who doesn’t challenge her mentally - or argue with her. Sometimes easy is the best we want to do. Im guessing this is surely short term. And it reminds me of the BETTER times of my own younger D’s senior year. Maybe invest in one of those mouth guards for when you’re grinding your teeth in trying to bite your tongue?</p>
<p>I adore my oldest D but as I have said here over and over again, we barely spoke for two years and every time we did it was laden with stress… I didn’t know what she was doing with her life and she felt judged - fair enough, because on some level I was judging especially when she had dropped out of school, wasted nearly 40K of our money and thought some “guy” was worth following across the country. “Not my life” became my mantra. It still is, but once she broke up with the perfect guy and met her now H who truly seemed to get her to believe all the good stuff about herself that she didn’t believe when I told her…. we turned a corner. But I do think it’s not unusual to push our parents away far enough so that we can become friends. I was never the kind of parent who my kids would say is their best friend… talk about understatements. But I do feel I am very good friends now with my oldest daughter. Yes, still her mom, but a good friend too. It surely wasn’t overnight and there definitely was a time where the less we said, the better. </p>
<p>And truth be told, while I still have difficulties with my mom for a lot of reasons harking back to childhood, when I had kids and the longer I’ve been married, I definitely have an appreciation for the life she lead, sacrifices made, and happiness put on hold for a very long time simply based on it being the times it was.</p>
<p>MP you crack me up! hey a little eye candy doesnt hurt!
I think it is difficult for My D1 like her dad everyone thinks the world of her. But when they come home all bets are off. I also remember wanting to be different from my very dysfunctional family and needed to separate mentally and physically. But I think it doesn’t matter, even if your family is “normal” the kids need to separate.</p>
<p>Yeah, well Im growing increasingly convinced that normal is less rare than we are perpetually told to believe. How often is it that it’s the perfect family with the perfect kid now grappling with drug addiction or suicide? How about the destructive behaviors like eating disorders and the uptick in therapy for kids having led “uncomplicated” lives who can’t handle any kind of stress? I figure there are extremes to all sides and while we are not perfect by a long shot, our kids knew and know they are fiercely loved. They weren’t beaten - well, not beyond spanking and all I can say to opponents is that nothing says don’t walk out in front of a car again like a quick swat on the butt with a seething authority. And they weren’t abused. They’ve gone to great schools and had a lot of opportunity. While they can certainly act entitled, I think they know that in the grand scheme they’re really not. But I do think daughters and mothers more often than not will hit a rough spot. My oldest never rebelled in the least until she was 20 and then when she did it cut deeper than all the years my youngest rebelled put together! </p>
<p>I think I’ve mentioned writing my oldest long emails when we weren’t really good at talking. It gave me time for reflection and cautious word choice. She didnt’ respond and I thought she wasn’t even reading, but just saying what I thought made ME feel better. Turns out she was reading… turns out she deeply appreciated them… turns out she printed and saved every one. So there’s that.</p>
<p>Aww, Moda…that made me tear up. How lovely that you know that now.</p>
<p>The rings sound amazing…but I’m unclear as two why you’d want to swap topaz and amber…aren’t they about the same coloration? Either way, woo hoo on your husband’s detective and gift-giving skills. </p>
<p>MP – glad you’re not having too crazy a week after all.</p>
<p>That’s sweet, Moda ;)</p>
<p>Arabrab, my first amber ring is golden-amber colored…my second and third are a deep cherry/ burgundy color, even though its still amber substance, called “cherry amber” :)</p>
<p>Btw, was it you, arabrab, who asked about the pocket projector? I’d been looking at the Axxa Pico but mch is going with Mac TV and an hd TV for the board room instead The new boardroom has three very tall windows and tons of light so it makes more sense than the projector :)</p>
<p>kmc - kudos to your H for pulling off that whole ring thing! My H has gotten me some lovely jewelry over the years, and really has good taste. I will say, though, that there was no way I was leaving the 25th anniversary ring entirely up to him. I had something very specific in mind, and probably would have been disappointed if he had gotten something different.</p>
<p>mp - too funny, re: D’s BF.</p>
<p>moda - I, too, usually do much better putting my thoughts into emails/letters. I have sent S a few emails recently. I hope he’s reading them, but I honestly have no idea! He’s hanging out with college buddies today/tonight and headed back to NJ tomorrow. As I’ve said, I hope his actual, real job on base keeps him very busy!</p>
<p>We invited a few friends for New Year’s. Friends, food, and fun - that’s what it’s all about! (Well, plus wine, of course…) Great way to say good-bye (and, for the most part, good riddance) to 2013 and hello to 2014!</p>
<p>
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So am I the only one here who keeps reading this as pocket protector? </p>
<p>mp- in college we called them “himbos”. Sexist term and probably not nice:)</p>
<p>Going in to work today and then to a party at our good friends’ house tonight.</p>
<p>Happy New Year to all and here’s hoping for a better 2014!</p>
<p>Himbo! I love it! Thanks for the laugh!</p>
<p>Good riddance to 2013!</p>
<p>Best wishes for 2014 to everyone!</p>
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<p>That too, of course! H and I had our NYE celebration a bit early - we had a nice dinner out at a new place that recently opened. I had delicious pasta - so much for my low-carb lifestyle! I’m really hoping for a better year next year.</p>
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<p>Love it! It has really been bothering me that there are no words for the male side of what younger D has been doing in her dating life.</p>
<p>Last night I proclaimed today a work day - thank you notes, putting away Christmas presents, etc. We’ll see how that goes. </p>
<p>We saw American Hustle yesterday. I didn’t love it. At some point, each of us was on the verge of dozing. But for the 70s music, clothes and hair, it would have been not very good (IMO). But the scene at the disco…I leaned over and told older D that that is what college sounded like for me. I adored the “elaborate comb over.” And I must have a girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence…I think I said the same thing after seeing Silver Linings Playbook…I could look at her face all day…just beautiful.</p>
<p>We saw the passive aggressive bad side of older D last night. We thought we had seen the last of it, but after 11 days at home, it surfaced. (I call it her “Joan of Arc Face”.)</p>
<p>No NY Eve plans, which is typical for us.</p>
<p>missypie, I liked American Hustle but kind of agree with my sister that the rave reviews are a little overblown. Good, not great. We all enjoyed Wolf of Wall Street more than American Hustle. But it’s still a fun movie and I also enjoyed the “elaborate comb over.”</p>
<p>Happy New Year everybody!</p>
<p>Moda thanks for the sharing, its so nice to see how it comes from the other side. I know we have talked about this before , but our kids have nothing to complain about.
American Hustle was filmed in Boston I believe, so I am interested in seeing it. We usually go to the movies on my birthday and we couldn’t this year. So I think it is on the agenda for this weekend.
Although I will be sad to see D1 go, It will be nice to get into a routine.I took her yesterday to buy some basics, tees, underwear etc… She has her formal job offer, her previous one was a paid internship. She was sort of on trial. she passed, they love her,and she loves the office. Now she will be full time with a good salary. She is thinking about law school, funny both girls are going to do what their parents do , a little weird.
Happy New Year all, although I never wish for time to be gone, or for it to advance, I pray for a happy healthy New Year for all and greater wisdom.</p>
<p>You are all officially invited to a NYE’s party that I will dub “after the break up”.
D left to be with BF last night and said if they did it would be after tonight. A few hours later she called to say she was on her way home and had broken things off. We stayed up late drinking and talking. I think she believes he is going to grow up and start changing. This is dangerous thinking in my opinion. I hope she feels so much better that she does not look back.
Evidently BF wanted to stay at his family’s home last night, where they have been when together this vacation, and D wanted to stay at our home as there is more privacy and we have not even seen BF except for a few minutes where he graciously accepted the Eddie Bower slippers. Dang H through the box away and they are size 12. I may be offering these up here.
So, this morning I have learned that we can freeze the quiches. The alcohol with eventually be used. My decorations came from the dollar store. Still, probably hundreds of dollars wasted. Oh well.
When I woke up this morning I felt like the bride had cancelled the wedding. Again, I really think D wants him permanently but he has not stepped up and fought for her and she at least knows she needs that.
A few friends are still coming and we might have their family over too. The Party Must Go on. Only 12 hours left of 2013!</p>