<p>Completely agree!</p>
<p>Look at thrift stores for the glass votives and the containers. We had to make 12 or so centerpieces for a retirement party and got everything at thrift stores. I think we had enough in three trips since they are so plentiful. </p>
<p>I love the bamboo, but 12 inches seems tall since you’d have to look around it to see someone at the other side of the table. Then again, it is thin and you don’t want it totally dwarfed…</p>
<p>Check at “dollar” stores for votives and glass vases! And if that is what was mean by “thrift”, I apologize for being redundant! </p>
<p>Best to you, Julie!</p>
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<p>Yes, exactly. You would cut the ribbons so that they hung at least 2 feet over the edge of the table. They could go to the floor. It gives the suggestion of a table topper, without the expense. I’ve seen pictures of people doing this kind of decoration with several different kinds of ribbon, but all of the pictures I could find were of rectangular tables and were more elaborate than I think you would want. I think you are now aiming at a somewhat Zen aesthetic, right? :)</p>
<p>I agree that excluding people from the dinner is not acceptable. Having a late night after party with your contemporaries doesn’t bother me either, as long as they were also invited to the main reception. It is highly unlikely that the older adults would WANT to go. (Whether the B&G would actually have sufficient energy left to go to it is another matter! 
)</p>
<p>Michaels sells the votives by the case, use a coupon!
Or try Dollar Tree. Think by the case so you get the most out of the coupon (40% off a case of 24 goes farther than 40% off of one).
Try Craigslist for your area, a lot of Brides sell the items after the wedding…something to think about. It’s unlikely that you will want that many votives in your home.</p>
<p>Love the bamboo centerpiece!</p>
<p>Bumping this thread up after a while!</p>
<p>Mom2M - Definitely will be intending to use coupons and the like to save on things like candles and craft supplies. I’ve been checking sites like Tradesy weddings and other bridal classifieds sections, but hadn’t thought to check Craigslist! Thanks for the tip!</p>
<p>As for current progress on the wedding, here is where I am at:</p>
<p>-Centerpieces have been revised again because I have found a way to do them more cheaply by changing them. I found a local rental place that rents vases for centerpieces. For 3 dollars a set, I can get three cylindrical or three square vases of staggered heights. I plan to do black river rocks at the bottom of each and submerge a single white calla lily with a floating candle at the top. Alternatively, I could do a couple of stems of bamboo in each with no candle. Open to suggestions! </p>
<p>-For flowers, I found that I can get flowers most cheaply in bulk from Sam’s Club. I believe my grandmother has a membership and with that, I can get 25 large callas and 140 small callas for about $200. Accounting for some loss, that’s plenty for a large calla bouquet for myself (not a generous one, but sufficient), bouts for the groomsmen, groom, and my dad, small calla bundles for the bridesmaids, and submerged flowers in the centerpieces. </p>
<p>-For table decor, rather than doing the ribbon, I’ve found cheap organza runners from Smarty Had a Party, which has excellent reviews. I requested a swatch of their teal and it was pretty much the color I had in mind (and it’s so thin that it will just add a nice little splash of color). They’re running about $1.30 each pre-tax and shipping. I can also rent teal and apple green napkins from the same place I am renting the glassware, though I’m not sure whether I just want to do all in one color or not.</p>
<p>-For dessert, we have arranged to do cupcakes and a two tier cake for 100 guests at around $250, but I think we are going to change it to a dessert array rather than just cake. For slightly cheaper, they offer 250 dessert items (mini-cupcakes, cream puffs, eclairs, cookies, etc.) plus the two tier cake. I like the sound of this a lot better because I’d rather have most other dessert items over cake any day.</p>
<p>-Still planning on going with the bamboo or palm leaf veneer ware for the table settings. I was not sure whether I should go with square or round. I can get square or round vases for the centerpieces, so I wasn’t sure if I should do circle vases and circle plates, square vases and square plates, or a combination of the two. Also, if I get square plates, should I square them up with the edge when they are set or would it be more fun to put them on the table kite-set?</p>
<p>-I found a rental place that has absolutely everything I need (including the vases) but it is local to me so their delivery fee will be about $200. The guest list has ballooned to about $130 so the rental fee for that high estimate is about $1000. (This is including silverware, linens, chairs, tables, napkins, centerpieces, large drum coolers for the beverages, pitchers for each table, champagne glasses which I think I will nix, a little insurance which covers reasonable damage, etc., for 130.) Yikes! I still want to do the vases from here regardless, but I’m not sure whether I should go local on the chairs, tables, and linens and then transport the vases myself? Or is the peace of mind and having to deal with only one rental vendor worth it? That being said, the local places are charging $90 for delivery from three blocks away and I don’t think their rentals are any cheaper, so I don’t know if it is worth it. </p>
<p>-I’m thinking about nixing the champagne (aka sparkling grape juice) toast so I do not have to rent the glasses or pay for the juice. The last wedding I attended had toasts, but I don’t think our bridal party really knows about toasting anyway. And I suppose we could always toast with whatever drinks we have. </p>
<p>-For glasses, it is okay to go with simple clear disposable plastic cups? Renting the glassware will cost a decent amount of money and I will have to pay someone to rinse and re-rack. </p>
<p>-For anyone curious, I also ended up not getting a DOC. It would’ve been nice.</p>
<p>Finally, some general life updates as to why I am super concerned about money more than I was before. My fiance got laid off and on unemployment is only making less than 2/3rds of what he was. To be honest, I’ve thought about cancelling the wedding and doing JOP, but people in my family have already booked hotels and we, as well as my FMIL, have a good amount of money invested in this already. We’ve have the full cost of what we have yet to pay in the bank with an extra buffer of a couple thousand dollars, but I really wish money wasn’t so tight and I feel horrible investing this kind of money into a wedding when our financial situation has become much more precarious. We definitely need to get married now though because he lost his insurance. </p>
<p>Also, how do you stop feeling guilty for the expenses others are incurring participating in your wedding? My mom is probably about to lose her job too because the factory that she is working at (and where my fiance was employed) is in the process of being sold/going out of business. I also feel terrible for having the wedding an hour away because people who would not otherwise have had to pay for hotels are probably getting hotels now. </p>
<p>I just never thought it would be this expensive to serve barbeque and cake with a DJ, and have tables for the guests to eat and plates to put their food on. :(</p>
<p>Julie, thank you for the update. I’m so very sorry about your fiance losing his job and your mother’s situation.</p>
<p>Think of it this way, canceling the wedding would break your fiance’s heart and deprive your mother of such a special occasion. They both deserve this.</p>
<p>You are being very considerate of budgets and that is very important. Life shouldn’t stop because of hardships. Finances will eventually get right, but if you miss this opportunity with the man you love, it may never come again. You just don’t know what the future holds. Continue to be careful and considerate, but enjoy this special time, too.</p>
<p>Just wanted to say your wedding sounds beautiful!! Best Wishes!</p>
<p>Sounds lovely. You are being very careful and thoughtful with your budget/expectations. I hope my daughter will do so in the future! I agree with zoosermom - enjoy! </p>
<p>I think toasting with whatever one is already drinking is more than sufficient. Skip the champagne and I don’t think anyone would notice. I think that $ is better spent on making the setup/logistcs flow more easily. </p>
<p>Keep us updated, please!</p>
<p>If you need to get married now for him to have insurance you could just do that and not tell anyone and proceed with your wedding day as planned. You wouldn’t be the first couple to do that for whatever reason.
Have you priced out going with disposable everything rather than using the rental company? I don’t see anything wrong with that in light of the casual food you have planned.</p>
<p>No advice–just wishing you good luck with the wedding (it sounds wonderful). Plus, extra good luck for your fianc</p>
<p>Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I hope that it will be an enjoyable day for everyone, and that is really what I am most concerned about. Zoosermom in particular, I know you are right on most counts. I will not get another chance to have this wedding, and my fiance is really looking forward to it. It would also really disappoint FMIL, though my mom is honestly kind of indifferent about the whole thing (another issue in and of itself and a reason why I’ve been relying so much on CC to get advice and feedback). </p>
<p>I would say with some certainty it is definitely cheaper AND easier to purchase disposables versus rent. The big thing is that there will be a massive fee on plates that are only scraped and not washed, and I am not making anyone responsible for scraping and washing over 100 plates covered in barbeque. </p>
<p>As for getting married before then, I’ve considered it, but at just over two months out I think we’re just going to cross our fingers for no catastrophic illness. He very rarely gets sick so hopefully we’ll be okay.</p>
<p>I was just looking at the party city website and looking at options. There may be other cheaper sources but their prices seem reasonable for bulk tableware and table covers. I even like their $5 paper flower centerpieces. At the end of the night, the whole table can be balled up and tossed. People don’t need silverware or linen napkins to eat barbeque.</p>
<p>Try not to feel too badly for your guests’ hotel expenses, either. In some families, going to weddings long-distance keeps distant relatives in touch, which helps the family be more cohesive, in general.</p>
<p>Some guests will look forward to a break from their homes. Although they might not tell you, they might peek around the town to shop or use the hotel pool, when they’re not celebrating with you, of course.</p>
<p>It’s a getaway for them, too but with a happy focus of your wedding. Don’t stress on that point!</p>
<p>Also, with the exception of your fiance and your mom, if guests are really strapped, they can decline without fear that you will show up at their homes with a gun or cut them out of your life.</p>
<p>I am confident that if Cousin June sent you a thoughtful gift and explained that her husband had lost his job and the trip wouldn’t be possible you would understand.</p>
<p>hyperJulie, am so sorry you are dealing with employment and financial issues at what should be a joyous time in your lives. For better or for worse…this is what they are talking about in those vows!</p>
<p>S and DIL had a small civil ceremony for the visa issues and are having their celebration this summer. Had hoped more of the British relatives would come over, but that is not to be. </p>
<p>In our area, the rentals are as just about as much as the good Costco disposable plates or the Chinet crystal plates/glasses. The dish cleaning fee for us is $350 unless we return them cleaned – am asking the serving service to rinse and re-rack after serving the dinner and dessert, so I hope we can get that $$ refunded. </p>
<p>I have reserved a ton of stuff through the rental facility, but as the day gets closer, I will go through the list again and see what we can do without. One possibility is going with disposables for the hors d’ouevres so that I am not ordering tons of small plates and glasses (and it’s less that will have to be cleaned).</p>
<p>We are doing cupcakes instead of cake – some places in the area charge $5 a cupcake (WTH???), but we found one north of us that runs $25/dozen and they are delicious. A couple of friends and I will also make some other desserts on the side since it’s the peak of fresh fruit season.</p>
<p>I am DIYing the favors and the decorations. I could go totally nuts with this stuff.</p>
<p>I still wonder why we aren’t just doing a small BBQ here and then S & DIL go to England and have a small party for family there.</p>
<p>Hyperjulie, sorry about the extra stress. I’m sure it’s going to be a lovely wedding. Like others have said, most people will really enjoy visiting the area in addition to the wedding, I know I always did.</p>
<p>Wow, sorry, my life has been sort of crazy so I never really properly replied to the most recent posts in this thread.</p>
<p>electronblue - I had entertained that thought but what I keep coming back to is that the venue is really too nice to have completely disposable table settings. I would like the reception area to look somewhat pretty and looking at the photos of previous weddings I feel like plastic tablecloths and the like would look really out of place. Honestly, if I could do over I would probably plan a much simpler affair, but I’ve reached the point of no return and my general goal now is to make everything as cohesive as possible. </p>
<p>paying3tuitions - Thanks for the reassurance. I guess I have it in my head that people just hate weddings/traveling, but I think I am projecting the feelings of certain family members onto more people than reality. I’m hoping that beer, wine, delicious barbeque, and a night of dancing at the museum would be a good time for most - and I guess if it isn’t some people must just be determined to not have fun. :)</p>
<p>zoosermom - I can say with confidence that my family would be shocked to see that kind of behavior out of me. I just really hope that people make it, gift or not. Many of my relatives are FUN and having them there is present enough. (Really crossing my fingers that Uncle Ronnie makes it - he’s a riot.) </p>
<p>mathmom - Thanks! It really is a nice little area and I even put some blurbs up about it on my wedding website. There is a wonderful shopping district and all sorts of really nice restaurants. I suspect that some of my relatives may join up afterwards to continue to party. Some did that after my cousin’s wedding and hers was a drawn out 8 hour affair from start to finish. Mine will be half that and more condensed so I think that they may have some juice left after to enjoy many of the awesome establishments in the area. </p>
<p>CountingDown - Congratulations to your S and DIL! I’m glad that they are having the opportunity to have a celebration with family. I can relate on the rental and cleaning fees. Really, it’s just crazy how much it adds up, even if the per item price doesn’t seem like so much. My brother suggested at one point that I just buy 100 cheap glass plates and just throw them away, but I couldn’t do that in any sort of good conscience. </p>
<p>I’m also planning on going through my rental list and paring it down. Two months out, I am of a mind to simplify, simplify, simplify. I also found a really nice cupcake place that has delicious everything. We’ve been going there for years so it was only natural to have our wedding dessert through them. We are all set to do cupcakes (deposit and everything) but I think we will change to a dessert reception. For $235, it includes a small two tier cake (six inch and eight inch rounds) and 250 pieces of assorted dessert (mini cupcakes, eclairs, cream puffs, cookies, cannolis, etc.). </p>
<p>“I still wonder why we aren’t just doing a small BBQ here and then S & DIL go to England and have a small party for family there.”</p>
<p>I think it’s all of the hype surrounding weddings maybe. They’re definitely cause to celebrate of course, and who doesn’t love a chance to throw a nice party. But although I generally find myself to be a very rational consumer (generally shop thrift stores, no designer anything, don’t have or want a lot of “things”), I find myself justifying and rationalizing huge unnecessary expenditures for the sake of some vision. At least I have not uttered the phrase “it’s my day” to my knowledge (though others have said this to me)!</p>
<p>As for just general plans at this point, as mentioned above I think we’re planning on simplifying somewhat. I originally really wanted poured drinks but I think that I will leave that to the wine only and just go with cans and bottles of various beverages of the alcoholic and non-alcoholic varieties. My thought right now is to rent two large super insulated drum coolers and fill one with adult beverages and the other with assorted non-alcoholic drinks - juices, soda, and water. I love the idea of doing individual pitchers on tables but the more I think about it the more logistically complicated it becomes. The bar and the reception space are somewhat separate so I do not think I can make a single bartender attend to both. Not sure if I should hire someone for waitstaff to pick up silverware and napkin and chuck plates and refuse, or if I should just go with several clearly marked disposal sites. Again, the wedding hype is getting to me with this because I allow the bridal forum crazy to infect my mind. So many on those sites would stick up their noses at the idea of a guest having to do anything for his or herself, even if having a full white-gloved service sort of affair is just not a reality for most brides. I think that’s part why discussing my plans here is so refreshing and reassuring because I get the picture that the members here represent a large cross-section of many social strata and so far at least I haven’t been called tacky or a terrible host for not providing for every potential whim of my guests. Or many the people who are secretly thinking that are too tactful to say so on this thread. Either way, I feel better. :)</p>
<p>Entertaining within your means is never tacky. Criticizing brides for not having more disposable income is very tacky! It all sounds lovely.</p>
<p>Julie,</p>
<p>It all sounds lovely. May your day be wonderful!</p>